trust issues

[Bird]

Dear Miss U,

I posted a thread about my ex in the forum "Pushing for More" which I got a reply from. The reply was that you need to gain his trust before you find someone else or you stop loving him or something along the lines of that. My ex and I had a few trust issues which were a mix of his and my fault, his fault because he started the relationship too early and we were very young. My fault because I didn't know much about relationship but now I do know about relationships. We both live in different countries and I think that was the reason we had trust issues but I might be wrong. Anyway I just wanted to ask how do I gain the guy's trust? Can anybody please give me some advice because he is pushing my buttons.

Thanks

[Marmalade]

Personally I gain trust by opening up and not holding anything back. My boyfriend loves how honest I am and he trusts me more than I expected due to his previous relationships. I can be brutally honest, but he doesn't want me to change because he knows I'll always tell him the truth. Some people just cannot trust so do not force it, but do talk about it and try and be understanding.

[Bird]

You are saying I should gain his trust by being honest and telling him the truth etc? I do not get what you mean by open up, I have tried a few times and told him that i'll give you my account details so you can check what I am doing etc but no luck. I have tried sending him gifts etc online but he just reads the messages and if bothered replies sometimes with negative things. What should I do? How do I really open up and say you can trust me etc? Please help

[Marmalade]

Just tell him stuff you normally don't share with others and make it a point that he knows you want him to trust you. It won't always come easy, but if you care enough it'll get easier. Make sure to ask why he doesn't trust you, so you both can work on whatever the issue is.

[Redheart14]

How long have you know each other? Trust is something that is created over a period of time as you get to know each other and let your guard down. Talk about things that are important, life endeavours, past relationships, family values all those things as well as the day to day stuff. Tell him about your day, you may feel its nothing worth sharing but to him it helps him feel that little bit more connected to you.