We're done - 5 years

[Riyuki]

Hello all. I posted here a while ago about how my girlfriend loved a celebrity way more than she loved me. Well my solution at the time was, "It's just a hard crush. I'll ignore it and move on."

However, we took a turn of events. We were talking about something...I don't know..we talk about a lot of things... but during that conversation she said that she could see a future with me - Marriage, children, fun, working through hard times, growing old together, etc... she could see all of that. However, she said that even though she can see herself living a full life with me, her heart will always belong to that celebrity. She feels that her 'natural' love for that celebrity (who is even FARTHER away, married, children, etc...) trumps the love that we once shared. So I gave up. Don't get me wrong, we're great friends and we didn't have a bad breakup...I was just tired of trying to show her how much I really loved her.

This all actually started a year ago. I don't remember if I ever posted the reason why her love began to decline but she asked me a what if question as a joke. She said, "If a witch turned me into a boy, would you still love me?" She's asked me what if questions before and they weren't jokes so I answered honestly. I said, "No, because you will not be the same person inside nor out." I realized it was an unromantic answer and that I should have acted in my normal joking way but...I'm not homosexual. She felt that because I would reject loving a guy that I don't know what love is at all and I proved to her that I will not fully love her. Ever since then, we've declined as a couple very quickly. I accepted her, even when she has done me wrong but when I did wrong, she rejected me and found solace in someone else.

I'm also at a crossroads because I purchased the "Love knows no distance" bracelet from here. It was my promise to her that I would love her irregardless of any distance between us, amongst other many promises. Now, she has the bracelet and I think she uses it for her celebrity crush. So now I'm left with a bracelet that has no destination. I've grown so accustomed to having it on my wrist that it's become a part of me and I don't want to take it off, but anytime I look at it, I'm reminded of how much I miss her as my SO instead of just a friend... So I don't know what I should do. I'm in law school and I have 2 papers, 3 midterms due next week. Focusing on that is no problem but my heart is just in pieces. Any advice/ constructive criticisms?

[snow_girl]

Take the bracelet off and toss it. Done and done.

[lilspitfire]

I kind of have to say move on........a celebrity? Really? What chance did she think she'd ever have with this guy? And the whole "boy" thing is kind of weird and doesn't prove anything. I think you're better off and I'm sorry it took to this long........

[Ahava]

I think I remember you writing about her "crush" a long time a go.

Take your time to heal and move on in life. Good luck.

[differentcountries]

Yes, already back then her crush was a bit weird. Seems she is the type of person living more in dreams than reality. Hope you find someone with a more realistic outlook on life. Best wishes

[TwoThree]

Oh hey, I remember you. I'm sorry you've wasted your time on such a relationship. Hope time will heal you.

That being said, I would like to be present if ever Hansi Kursch is told about all of this. I bet he would be pretty scared. I mean this is really weird. If she had been obsessed with Brad Pitt or James Franco or a celebrity whose life is constantly out there on tabloid, I'd kinda get that, but the vocalist of a power metal band from Germany whose videos never get airplay on MTV... wow.

[silvermoonfairy3]

I remember this too. Sorry it didn't work out, but I do think it's for the best.

Take care of yourself.

[Jaac]

I find it odd that 'her heart will always belong to *celebrity crush*', like she's living in her own dream world...
You deserve someone who gives you her whole heart.
I can imagine your heart is broken. Maybe it helps to focus on the things that made you doubt the relationship already. You would always have to prove her your love, while she would always like that celebrity better. That would exhaust you, right?

Throw the bracelet away, you'll get accustomed to having nothing on your wrist. Or buy yourself a new one!
I'm sorry you're going through this!

[lilspitfire]

Oh hey, I remember you. I'm sorry you've wasted your time on such a relationship. Hope time will heal you.

That being said, I would like to be present if ever Hansi Kursch is told about all of this. I bet he would be pretty scared. I mean this is really weird. If she had been obsessed with Brad Pitt or James Franco or a celebrity whose life is constantly out there on tabloid, I'd kinda get that, but the vocalist of a power metal band from Germany whose videos never get airplay on MTV... wow.

That's her crush? I wouldn't exactly call it celebrity. Semi famous. Celebrity is something most people would recognize, imo. Never even heard of him. And he LIVES in Germany? And she is not? Oh sweet baby Brandon.

[rhabdoviridae]

It's been five years, so it's understandable that you're having a hard time letting her go. That being said, getting rid of the bracelet is probably best for you at this point. If you really feel weird without something around your wrist, wear a rubber band or even a different bracelet to ease the transition. The sooner you're able to cut all reminders of her out of your life, the faster you will be able to recover.

I don't have much else to offer by way of advice, since you'll be busy enough with school, but it sounds like it really was for the best that the relationship ended.

[butterfly712]

I kind of have to say move on........a celebrity? Really? What chance did she think she'd ever have with this guy? And the whole "boy" thing is kind of weird and doesn't prove anything. I think you're better off and I'm sorry it took to this long........

I couldn't have said it any better,move on with your life and be done with it.

[Redheart14]

I agree, toss the bracelet and move on! You deserve better!

[Harlequin]

I second TwoThree in that I would also love to be present if Hansi were ever told of this.

I'm so sorry it had to come to an end like this, good terms or not. Her "crush" seems very unhealthy; it's fine to have crushes on celebrities or somewhat-popular German power metal singers, but to let it get in the way of an actual relationship is very concerning. Throw the bracelet away and shrug her off. You deserve way better than her, really.

[lilspitfire]

it's fine to have crushes on celebrities or somewhat-popular German power metal singers, but to let it get in the way of an actual relationship is very concerning. Throw the bracelet away and shrug her off. You deserve way better than her, really.

THIS! I had a crush on a semi celebrity tattoo artist when meeting my SO. But my SO stole my heart. I didn't let my crush get in the way of our relationship.

[Redheart14]

Would be very interesting to see Hansi's reaction to this. Has she ever written to him? Surely if she heard it from him (with no response from him) that she'd know there's no chance.