forever september

[jessijava]

Although technically you can say our long distance "relationship" began only a little over a week ago.. our story really began way back in middle school. I am lucky to say that I have only ever had one boyfriend in my short 19 years and just recently had my first kiss with the love of my life. We began "dating" when I was 14 and we were in the 8th grade. Like every girl in her first relationship, I fell head over heels in love. He had been my secret crush since the very beginning of middle school and by some miracle I was lucky enough to be his first real girlfriend and my crush became my first boyfriend. And of course we just knew it was meant to be, fate, destiny, what have you. But the end of middle school came and high school was fast approaching. He had to move 13 hours away. This broke my heart and I kept praying and begging God for a miracle. Until the very end I still had this hope that a miracle would happen.. but it did not. Not yet, that is. All through out high school we did keep in touch by letters, yes I am old school, and texting and calling occasionally. But he had moved on. I felt so guilty because I could't do it, I couldn't move on. But they say if you love someone you have to let them go and I knew that is what I had to do and I was prepared to do it. I did try, but honestly I think I was just looking for him in everyone because at the end of the day, and the month, and the year, I was hoping he'd come back for me. Senior year I got my miracle. One night he called me and I wasn't going to answer because talking to someone you can't have about their love life is kind of depressing. But eventually I did. And even though he liked this one girl a whole lot he decided to fly to Alabama to take me to my senior prom. I had never had a date to a dance before and I really wanted one so I thought he was just being a really good friend. All of my friends and family and my whole entire very small town agreed that no boy would go that far out of his way to take a girl he has not seen in four years to her prom if he did not still have feelings for her. But you see I had spent those years trying to convince myself that it was over and he moved on and I had to do the same. Well prom happened. And maybe it did seem like there was something there but I had to hold back and keep up my guard because I knew that he was still there and I was still here and besides, he liked someone else. After prom things changed pretty fast. He did have feelings and he did't think he would but he did and he did't know how to make it work but he wanted what we had back then again. I was so confused. I had told myself so many times it was over and I was dumb for not moving on and here he was back into my life. He had promised to come back after prom and he did. After that week we spent together during the summer we knew, it was never over. We fell in love all over again but this time it was real love, the kind you would die for. This september he came back again. And let me tell you, it was the best week of my life. I finally got my first kiss!! We decided to try and make this work because we honestly feel we have a future together. But if the distance wasn't already enough he has joined the navy. He leaves in 10 days. Since he has been gone, about a week and a half, I have missed him so much and I am having a super hard time. I keep telling myself if we could still love each other after those 5 years then we can do it again... but it's so hard. I miss everything about him and our wonderful week together. But I have to believe this can work and when we can finally be together things will be more amazing than ever, and I can kiss him any time I want! I am glad I waited all those years for him. Is this crazy?

[Redheart14]

It's not crazy. You're doing what you have to which is be in a LDR. You don't start a LDR for just anyone I believe. Best of luck