We ran away.... We left the 5000 miles distance behind!

[Tamarahhansen]

We’ll run away on broken shoes and live off of juice. It’s worth it if we make it.

One warm evening in Granada, Spain I sat on a hostel floor scribbling these words in a worn journal. The pages were filled with memories from months of backpacking alone through Europe. I had been ‘that girl’ my whole life, obsessed with becoming perfect in every way imaginable. Ultimately it cracked me and after a long struggle I realized I had no concept of who I was. So I left a boyfriend, an apartment, a college degree and an eating disorder behind. At the time I believed I had given up everything to set out on my search to find myself.

I am Tamara, Danish. He is Alex, American.

He was accustomed to leaving as well. Alex was born an American but with a European heart. America was too fast, too loud, too unreal for who he was. Ultimately his heart dragged him away from his previous life on a wild adventure that lead to a kiss under Granada moonlight.
The very day we met we talked about coincidence, how amazing it is to think that you could walk out your front door any day and meet your soul mate. When he left I realized I needed to chase him. So I did. We crossed countries and oceans to be together, desperately attempting to halt the hands of time whenever we were back in each other’s arms. Somehow time seemed to pass even faster the harder we fought it and we would once again face the anguish of being apart.

We sat by a lake in Austin one sunny day, dreading my looming flight back home. One of our typical intense conversations turned towards priorities in life. During a moment of silence it suddenly dawned upon me that the place I was going back to was not as important to me as the human in front of me. I had found myself within another person, and he was more home to me than anywhere in the world. We could be together if we wanted to, all it would take was the bravery to give up everything else. It seemed a small price to pay. Alex had searched for his place and I had searched for myself. Right here was what we had both been looking for. We had found ‘us’ and together we were home.

There was no question about it really. We quit our jobs, sold our things and each packed a carry on sized backpack. In the beginning of August 2014 we took our first flight from Copenhagen to Granada, Spain where we had first met. Now here we are, somewhere in the world finding home in hidden corners of beautiful cities, spreading the word through our web site. We want to share our live running away from visa laws keeping us apart, in the pursuit of love and finding our place in the world. And we want to talk to other LDR couples out there who are in hard positions.

Nice to meet you all!
Cheers Tamara

EDIT: We are not overstaying visas or otherwise breaking the law. The reason we travel is because the VISA laws of our respective countries keep us from living together.

[Hollandia]

Do you have any idea how incredibly irrational this sounds? I would love to give the money in the bank down the street it's "freedom" to my purse too, but it would still be wrong no matter how nice I try to make it sound.

Running from the visa laws sounds romantic, but sorry it is a very irresponsible thing to do. It will catch up with you. He will end up banned from Europe for up to 10 years, if you try the same in USA, you will end up banned in USA for same amount of time. He won't have health insurance, he won't have ability to work to support himself and even if you have a child one of you could be forced to be separated by them. Pretty words can make anything sound good, it does not make it okay to break the law.

He will have 90 days in Schengen and if he ever leaves it after that, he won't be allowed back in. He can't return to USA and come back, so if any sick relatives need his help or any loved ones get married or siblings have kids, he can never go back. The money will run out and the constant running will make it run out quicker. He will find it beyond difficult to get a job in EU these days without a permit. Any new friends or neighbors could turn you in if they figure it out too.

We did it the right way, we also gave up our old lives and sold our possessions from our home countries, but he got a job in another EU country, just as you can do, and then we will fly to Gibraltar to marry that has no residence requirements and is totally legal. At that point, you can legally have "run away" together and not destroyed your chances for a happily ever after that will actually work. You have been together for a year and already willing to stick it to the system and throw your lives away. We did it for over three, you can too. I highly advise you to not break any immigration laws or he will have a stain in his record forever. Once they catch you it goes on the computers and does not go away. They can put him on a plane back to USA and he won't be able to return and could also face a hefty fine.

Spreading the word to break the immigration, this is wrong. If you want to trash your future then feel free, but it is bullcrap that you think it is something you should be recommending to others and you are totally in the wrong to do so. Pay your dues as we all do, and if you want to cheat the system, then good luck. I would never risk losing my SO for 10 years to cheat the system and try to go around the law. This is not a romantic notion, this is a immature, naive and irresponsible one and one that is the reason that makes it so difficult for those of us not cheating the system to even visit each other at border control. I have to say it really makes me sick to my stomach to hear you bragging about doing something like this. Responsible grown ups have to follow the rules, I suggest you both become one.

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but I really think you need to hear it and furthermore YOU are not the one sticking their neck on the line the American with a European soul is, and that is ridiculous btw, He is an American, just like I am. There are all different kinds of people in America and there are all different kinds of Europeans, this is just another rationalization for him breaking the law.

[Tamarahhansen]

We are not breaking the laws.

I really do appreciate all of that advice, and what you are saying is very wise; it would be ridiculous beyond anything else to risk loosing each other for the sake of being together for a few more days. Breaking visa laws is possibly the stupidest thing you can do in a long distance relationship. This is why we never do this.

We are never overstaying any visas and never breaking any laws.
In my post I say that we are "running away from visa laws" - not breaking them. This merely means that we are staying in each country as long as we can and then move on. This is what our whole story is about. Moving from place to place to be together. If we were willing to break the laws we'd just live in Denmark

I really do appreciate your concern and will try to make it clear for the future that we are not breaking any laws - I would never want anyone to take our 'advice' as to do so.
-Tamara

[JaneEmily]

Sounds like the OP got too many ideas from the film "Like Crazy." - unrealistic expectations that if they break VISA laws, everything will be fine and dandy. It won't be. You'll have a criminal record if anything. One that will be stuck with you your entire lives and jeopardise the rest of your chances to stay together permanently.

I've never read anything so childish. Not even I would dream breaking the law, not for my SO, not for love or for anyone. Do the whole process properly. Less risk and more chance to be happy. Don't be idiots and run from immigration.

I'd really listen to Hollandia's advice. Big time. She speaks more sense about this than anything.

[JaneEmily]

I really do appreciate all of that advice, and what you are saying is very wise; it would be ridiculous beyond anything else to risk loosing each other for the sake of being together for a few more days. Breaking visa laws is possibly the stupidest thing you can do in a long distance relationship. This is why we never do this.

We are never overstaying any visas and never breaking any laws.
In my post I say that we are "running away from visa laws" - not breaking them. This merely means that we are staying in each country as long as we can and then move on. This is what our whole story is about. Moving from place to place to be together. If we were willing to break the laws we'd just live in Denmark

I really do appreciate your concern and will try to make it clear for the future that we are not breaking any laws - I would never want anyone to take our 'advice' as to do so.
-Tamara

No the way you worded it was wrong. "Running from visa laws" usually indicates you're ignoring the law and doing it anyway. If you're not breaking the law then do what you're doing. Just don't make it sound out like you're breaking the law to sound badass.

[Dziubka]

That sounds all very cute and travelling with your SO is a great experience.

But once you'll actuallly need to make some money to survive (because, no, you cannot "live of off juice" for a very long time and even juice costs money), what are you going to do?

Also I say this in the nicest way possible, I also laughed at this part from your website

"During that time I reduced my life to 12 cardboard boxes labeled things like “kitchen” “office” and “memories”.

You reduced your life to 12 cardboard boxes?! Um...

[Tamarahhansen]

No the way you worded it was wrong. "Running from visa laws" usually indicates you're ignoring the law and doing it anyway. If you're not breaking the law then do what you're doing. Just don't make it sound out like you're breaking the law to sound badass.

I now corrected that mistake and apologise. I did not mean to sound 'badass'.
I know it is no excuse but I guess not being a native English speaker can lead to such mistakes now and then. Sorry about that.

[Hollandia]

I did that too legally. It cost almost everything I had and I was still able to work remotely in USA and he was able to work in EU. It cost a hella lotta money and even if you have 10 grand in the bank, it will go fast, very fast. The trip back and forth from USA to EU is gonna to hit you at almost a thousand dollars a pop each round trip each time. You could jump into UK but good luck even finding a cheap hostel and again, He can't work there. The same is true for Croatia and Cyprus. You can live out of back packs and try to cut down as much as possible but the airfare is going to kill you quickly. Beware of some countries taking issue with him doing long stays even when legal, the border control agents still have the right for him to prove he has sustainable income and he must be able to provide a return ticket home. Even if he does, they can still deny entry, it is their individual call, read the small print of Schengen.

We jumped back and forth from USA, to NL, to Ireland, to Croatia , London and now Northern Ireland over our time. We had pretty much ran out of ability to fund it when we were finally able for him to land a job in Belfast. The USA will also want proof of your sustained income and a return ticket back. Each stamp you put in your passports on either side will make the immigration officers more suspicious. If you can't get a job meeting the requirements in your country and he can't in his your best bet is to find another one in EU where you are only required to have "a full time" job. They are not allowed to ask for payslips or bank statements or utility bills or anything else. They may only ask for proof of you exercising your EU rights of movement via a letter from your employer. Once you aquire a job, you can run to the carribbean or Gibraltar or several places that allow non residence marriage with little to no waits and then you could bring him with you. As a family member of an EU citizen he would also be entitled a work permit.

I can't speak for Denmark but USA is going to have a problem with you doing continued long term stays, this won't last for long before they deny you entry. If you don't have proof of funds in USA or if he does not in EU, the ride will end quick. I hate to burst your bubble but the ride you are on is a very limited one unless you have tons of cash to spend. Start applying for jobs, every day, and be flexible about what other EU country you could settle in and that is really your best bet if you can't do it in yours or his at this time. Good luck.

[CynicalQuixotic]

I'm just wondering what you two are going to do once you've spent all of your savings.

[Tamarahhansen]

Thank you so much, that is really valuable advice. To clarify again though, we are not travelling in between USA and EU. Rather we are moving around the globe, staying as tourists in other world parts for months at a time as well. When it comes down to it all our passports show is that we are traveling a lot, nothing suspicious. The only difference from other nomads is our motive to travel; being together.

As far as money goes, Alex has a remote online job which more than sustains his expenses. We don't rely on it because they might fire him any day for being unreliable when it comes to location and timezones, but it is good for now. In the mean time we are looking into ways to make money online so we can keep going. When I turn 24 we can legally get married in Denmark and he can move there with me. As so this traveling is an experience and a way to test our relationship until then as well as a last resort to be together right now and a way to make time pass.

[CynicalQuixotic]

Thank you so much, that is really valuable advice. To clarify again though, we are not travelling in between USA and EU. Rather we are moving around the globe, staying as tourists in other world parts for months at a time as well. When it comes down to it all our passports show is that we are traveling a lot, nothing suspicious. The only difference from other nomads is our motive to travel; being together.

As far as money goes, Alex has a remote online job which more than sustains his expenses. We don't rely on it because they might fire him any day for being unreliable when it comes to location and timezones, but it is good for now. In the mean time we are looking into ways to make money online so we can keep going. When I turn 24 we can legally get married in Denmark and he can move there with me. As so this traveling is an experience and a way to test our relationship until then as well as a last resort to be together right now and a way to make time pass.

Well then, I hope Denmark is like France in that spouses of nationals have automatic right to residency with no income requirement. And that he'll be able to find a job as a non-Danish speaker.

[silvermoonfairy3]

This just came up in another thread, it is NOT breaking the law or visa regulations to move from place to place while respecting the visa limits.

It's the concept of "location-hopping" where you don't necessarily 'live' somewhere as a home-base, but instead act as tourists for a short period of time and then move somewhere else. For many, it's about 2 months in one place, because most visa regulations are 90 days.
A friend of mine did it with her boyfriend (both Americans) and lived off savings and his ability to work from anywhere as a web developer that works for himself in the US.

As long as you're respecting visa limits, which most location-hoppers are very up on, doing their research, it's not illegal.

That said, it's often impractical and irresponsible for a lot of people, because it will dwindle savings quickly, you can't work in the country you're in, it's potentially difficult for people to get ahold of you in an emergency (or for you to get care in your own emergency, depending on health insurance, etc.) and any number of other reasons.

But, if someone has the means and interest in doing it, by all means, feel free. Don't necessarily expect me to support it, but then, I don't necessarily have to.

[Moon]

You've got a flair for the dramatic, eh? Well, you're still kids, so if you're going to be nomads now's the time to do it, but I hope you realize this isn't a sustainable lifestyle in the long run. Have you thought about what to do when the money runs out, and you need more? Dziubka made a good point that even juice costs something, and you will not sustain yourselves through your website, the amount of people who will be willing to pay to read your story will mostly be limited to your friends and family, as there are a million other websites out there peddling their stories.

Be free while you can, but recognize that you will need to figure out a more permanent solution. Be realistic, reasonable and logical, the world doesn't run on fairy tales, no matter how much we hope it will. This isn't negativity, this is real-world rationale, which it seems is sorely lacking from your plan. Good luck, enjoy being nomads while you can, it'll probably be the only time in your lives you can do this.

[Hollandia]

Thank you so much, that is really valuable advice. To clarify again though, we are not travelling in between USA and EU. Rather we are moving around the globe, staying as tourists in other world parts for months at a time as well. When it comes down to it all our passports show is that we are traveling a lot, nothing suspicious. The only difference from other nomads is our motive to travel; being together.

As far as money goes, Alex has a remote online job which more than sustains his expenses. We don't rely on it because they might fire him any day for being unreliable when it comes to location and timezones, but it is good for now. In the mean time we are looking into ways to make money online so we can keep going. When I turn 24 we can legally get married in Denmark and he can move there with me. As so this traveling is an experience and a way to test our relationship until then as well as a last resort to be together right now and a way to make time pass.

Around the globe? Where? The Schengen is pretty much surrounding Denmark. We ran into the same thing and again, you will need to spend a lot of money on plane tickets. How many countries have you done? Have you priced out how much it will cost to go to next one, the one after that, and that? Have you found places to live in each of them that are affordable? Have you verified that they won't demand to see sustained income by you as well since they can't be in Schengen after 90 days? If you don't have income and you go to other countries, they all want to see return tickets and proof of funds. They did this to me in Croatia. How far away is 24? My passport is full of gobal stamps too, your problem is going to be him in any Schengen countries, they all count as one. The only cheapish airfare/ train travel options you have is Russia, UK, Ireland, Croatia, Cyprus and tbh, Croatia was not that cheap of airfare and neither was Belfast. We took a train back from London once and it was no cheaper than a flight would have been. Travel costs are up and don't seem to be going down. I believe it cost us about 6 grand in room and airfare to remain together for 9 months. That is just room and airfare for two. Do you have that kind of cash?

It seems that you are happy with your decision. I advise again to enjoy your 89 days and then say goodbye and spend everyday to find a job. Denmark will allow him to live there if you have no job after married? I am shocked if so. If you want to take six months and hit a few places and have the cash then more power to you but that is not really running from visa laws, that's called an extended vacation. If you two can afford that and still have ability to save cash for future, then you should have no problems. I just don't know how much money you understand that this is going to cost. I did it. I hope you know what you are going to have to face. Make sure you have return tickets and proof of funds for any non EU country for you, and any non USA territory for him.

[Dziubka]

But once you'll actuallly need to make some money to survive (because, no, you cannot "live of off juice" for a very long time and even juice costs money), what are you going to do?

I'm just wondering what you two are going to do once you've spent all of your savings.

I'm not sure you can actually make enough money to survive through online jobs. Yes, you might spend less money on rent or living expenses, because they're cheaper where you're travelling, but unless you go exclusively go by bike or walk, you'll have to pay for flights every once in a while. It kind of comes with the travelling.

But for the moment, if you two have the time and money to travel the world together - enjoy it.