Can you please help me to figure out my relationship, pleeeeeeaaasseee???

[Isaa]

A chance to talk about .........?

I've brought up the affection subject millions of times before. I'm beyond sure if I talk about it once more my relationship is going to be pretty much over :/

[Redheart14]

Seeing each other in person might change things.

[differentcountries]

Should I just let go this whole issue and accept that he will get colder or distant because the more serious it gets, the scary it is? Should I accept that being distant is okay and I have to deal with it?

What I mean is; every relationship goes through shifts where it is, like he says, either you grow together or you grow apart. There will be small crisis along the way, hopefully you will come out of them as a stronger couple. It is not exactly like one gets more and more colder. For instance, with my boyfriend he was very warm in the beginning, then it is been on and off between hot and cold, I have felt like the naggging girlfriend sometimes, but obviously I did something right because now he is just sweet as a bucket of honey.

You are too young to become apathetic, dear. Make a game plan. If you are going to show your emotions, or withhold them, have your reasons. What do YOU want out of this relationship? How to you plan to make that happen?

And seriously, don't feel bad about accepting the tickets. The one who has the money pays. I payed for most in our relationship, that is just the way it is. Think about how much harder it was for my guy to accept being payed for (he has not visited yet, but we planned to and for me to pay the tickets, that is still the plan for this December).

[Isaa]

Maybe you're right. Maybe I need to understand that this is the kind of relationship that I have now and it is what it is. Maybe I should be less affectionate to avoid getting hurt.

Thank you very much for the advice.

[Isaa]

What I mean is; every relationship goes through shifts where it is, like he says, either you grow together or you grow apart. There will be small crisis along the way, hopefully you will come out of them as a stronger couple. It is not exactly like one gets more and more colder. For instance, with my boyfriend he was very warm in the beginning, then it is been on and off between hot and cold, I have felt like the naggging girlfriend sometimes, but obviously I did something right because now he is just sweet as a bucket of honey.

You are too young to become apathetic, dear. Make a game plan. If you are going to show your emotions, or withhold them, have your reasons. What do YOU want out of this relationship? How to you plan to make that happen?

And seriously, don't feel bad about accepting the tickets. The one who has the money pays. I payed for most in our relationship, that is just the way it is. Think about how much harder it was for my guy to accept being payed for (he has not visited yet, but we planned to and for me to pay the tickets, that is still the plan for this December).

Wow, thank you. I really needed this. I really appreciate it.

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

Seeing each other in person might change things.

I think that is 100% true. He may just have an issue with communicating the way he really wants to but will be able to do better in person. He may be able to truly explain what is going on. Meeting would be a good idea.

[digitalfever]

He wants me to fly to the UK for the Holidays and he offered to pay for the plane tickets. I told him that what he wanted to do is a big gesture and that I felt bad about him doing that but he says that he wants me to be there and that I don't need to feel bad about accepting him paying for the tickets.

It sounds like he wants to meet and then see where things go. Go and see him during the holidays.

[Isaa]

I really appreciate your responses.

I admit I'm scared. I'm scared to fall head over heels for him and when we get to see eachother in person he might not feel attracted to me physically. Thoughts such as what if he thinks that I'm not pretty enough for him? what if he rejects me?. Also I'm afraid that we might just simply not click.
I've heard stories about people saying that they didn't match after the first meeting.

[Zapookie]

You can either dive in head first and meet him in person (like a lot of online couples on LFAD have done), or you can regret not taking the chance. Its really up to you. A wholly online LDR is not a viable relationship. The two need to meet in person at some point.

[randomnerd]

Falling for someone can be scary. Falling for someone online can be alarming. When I first started having feelings for my SO, I rationalized it endlessly. I had the thought "I can't feel this way about him, I've never even met him". Maybe he had the same feeling and is projecting it onto you.

The fact that he wants to meet is great. If you're ready for it, I say you should go for it. Maybe it'll answer any questions he is having about his love for you.

When my SO and I started talking it was just normal conversation and eventually it turned flirty. After we became a couple, it did slow down a bit even though we do still talk daily. I had the conversation with my bf that it seemed like it had slowed and pretty much he didn't realize it but that he was comfortable with the level of communication we had at that time. We don't talk as much as we did when we initially started talking (which was pretty constant) but I've adjusted to this because I know he loves me and really, I don't have to talk to him every moment hehe.