Such a bad day.

[Cat-and-Austin]

Ugh, my car broke down and it was going to cost more than it was worth to fix it so I had to get a car payment and get a newer car. :/ Now I'm not able to save up and see my SO, have any others had problems like this? I feel like everything is going to slowly fall apart now.

[Gingerlyme]

My S/O had the exact same thing happen to him, well almost. His old convertible was not good for making trips to and from the airport with almost no boot space and the car cant be left alone for days (if he comes to see me).
So he sold his old car and pumped in 50,000usd for a new car. Car payments are nasty but I am glad he is putting on this long term commitment for us since the upgrade was mainly for airport long trips.

Case in point, i will be the one doing most of the travelling to go see him now since he will be more burdened with extra payments but it is a situation where i am more than willing to compromise in.
you must be overwhelmed at this point with thinking of financial issues, i'm sorry it happened at such a bad time. Maybe you can discuss with him on him coming to see you next while you work out your financial plans?

(FYI, i am moving to his country but a different state in a couple months, hence the "Airport long trips")

[Cat-and-Austin]

I'm hoping to move to her country soon and start school over there, but then I'll still have the payments hanging over my head, so I don't know what to do about that unless I'll be able to sell the car and that will pay off the remaining payment on it when the time comes.

I just hate the have to feel like she'll be the one that has to pay to come over here. It makes it even worse that she'll be coming here in December for a couple weeks and I'm now not sure how to pay for things such as dinners if I don't have enough saved up by them. :/

[differentcountries]

Not entirely the same, but before we saw each other the first time I bought him a smart phone (he had started to outstay the welcome of his friends' phones and tablets, and getting tired of internet cafes). Phones are not cheaper in his country, it costs the price of at least 2 plane tickets, and it almost broke my heart to buy it instead of getting a ticket, but we needed it to stay in touch. We were both very upset about the fact that I could not afford both. When I eventually went it felt very overdue. I also have had big bills coming up, putting strains on my saving sceme.

Sometimes there are real financial problems and you just have to take them in stride and make the best out of it. Perhaps make him a present while waiting. Perhaps see if you can get there cheaper if you are creative.

[Gingerlyme]

I'm hoping to move to her country soon and start school over there, but then I'll still have the payments hanging over my head, so I don't know what to do about that unless I'll be able to sell the car and that will pay off the remaining payment on it when the time comes.

I just hate the have to feel like she'll be the one that has to pay to come over here. It makes it even worse that she'll be coming here in December for a couple weeks and I'm now not sure how to pay for things such as dinners if I don't have enough saved up by them. :/

I get it that you feel like as the man in the relationship you have to be the one holding the financial responsibilities but that really shouldn't be the case, Long distance or Close distance. A partnership is what it is, 2 individuals giving equally to the relationship
If you guys are committed, i am sure you both can talk it out and see how financially you can work out the next trip first. Don't stress yourself with the long term goals, focus on your next trip and enjoy the time you have together. maybe during the trip, in person you guys can talk about long term goals which will be so much easier in person.

[Cat-and-Austin]

I get it that you feel like as the man in the relationship you have to be the one holding the financial responsibilities but that really shouldn't be the case, Long distance or Close distance. A partnership is what it is, 2 individuals giving equally to the relationship
If you guys are committed, i am sure you both can talk it out and see how financially you can work out the next trip first. Don't stress yourself with the long term goals, focus on your next trip and enjoy the time you have together. maybe during the trip, in person you guys can talk about long term goals which will be so much easier in person.

Yeah, I guess I do, I was raised that way I suppose. It's always been a problem of mine that I like to have things planned out for the future I'm not a big fan of not knowing what will happen.

[TampaLove]

Same thing happened to me, and I'm just like you, needing to have everything planned out.

I was driving a 15 year old car with almost 100k miles on it, paid off for 5 years and paying only $45 a month in liability only insurance. In July, I got into a fender bender (first in my life, and I'm 36!) and they estimated it was going to cost $3-4k to make it drive able again, so I bit the bullet and got a 4 year old car. My car payment is now $205 and my full coverage insurance is $165 a month :-(

The nice thing is that I now have a reliable car to drive to visit BF 3.5 hours away, but the bad thing is that I'm barely making ends meet, with my mortgage and student loans. I have no idea how I'm going to manage for the next 4 years until the car and loans are paid off.

But the previous poster is right. Take it one next visit at a time. Long distance is super hard and stressful, but if you take it one day at a time, it will all work out in the long run.

[Redheart14]

^^ I think the other members here are summed it up.
Christmas is coming up, maybe you can ask for money instead of gifts and you can put it towards flights. Every bit counts.
This is just a bump in the road. You'll both get through this, and things will get easier. Just keep your communication going.

[Cat-and-Austin]

I always ask for money for Christmas just to save up for tickets, but this year is going to be rough since my parents are getting a divorce as well.
Thanks for giving me some support you all it means a lot and helps me know that others have been in similar places.

[CanGirl]

I don't understand why people need such expensive cars. My car was a 2002 Pontiac which cost me 700CAD. Paid off right away so didn't have to worry about it. New cars have their problems too :/

[Gingerlyme]

I don't understand why people need such expensive cars. My car was a 2002 Pontiac which cost me 700CAD. Paid off right away so didn't have to worry about it. New cars have their problems too :/

boys and their cars. i am not getting into the "Car" talk with my S/O. haha. he likes his sports cars and in Australia new cars can get pretty costly

[Cat-and-Austin]

I needed a car that would last me a few years. All the cheap cars at the lot had at least over 120k miles and wouldn't haven been worth it. We didn't have the money to buy a car on the street and I needed a way to get to and from school.

To be fair, I could care less what type of car I have as long as it runs and does what I need it to do. But this was the cheapest on the lot that didn't have major issues.