So.... i don't know where else to talk about this but here. My boyfriend came to visit me for a week last week for the first time and left on Wednesday. We got along so well that Tuesday night before he left, we were an absolute mess with tears. I thought I'd be okay, but here i am... still completely heartbroken that he had to leave me. I know he had to and i know his reasoning and i do accept it, but now i feel so lonely all of the time. He mentioned that he forgot he had more vacation time and didn't have to leave for another 5 days and he hates that he left, and now that he told me that i feel even worse because i could have had more time with him. I honestly wish he never told me that he could have stayed longer. I am taking this so hard and i don't quite understand why. I have been miserable and i keep trying to talk myself down from it but it's not working. I can feel myself being irrational. What can i do to stop? What helped you?
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I also find myself pulling away from him emotionally. This is what i do when i am hurt.... i try to avoid. -
If he has more vacation time, maybe he can transfer it for the next visit? Don't be upset with him, most likely he didn't do it on purpose to hurt you. LDR makes all of us feel lonely at times. Make sure to be in contact even if it hurts. Try to laugh together. Try to talk about missing each other. Open up about your lonelyness. Perhaps plan the next visit together?Last edited by differentcountries; October 11, 2014, 04:01 AM.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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I agree with this, it's good advice I think. Maybe he could transfer his additional vacation time to the next visit? Otherwise maybe he can use it to get extra relaxation and spend more time Skyping you. And remember it's not his fault and he probably feels just as horrible as you. It is as hard to leave as it is to be left, it's not like he did it on purpose. The more skype time after a visit, the better you are able to talk things through and recall your memories, look through photos/videos you took... and plan the next visit as soon as possible even if you can't have an exact date yet, just knowing and promising that you will see each other soon.. whether that's this Christmas (lucky!), this coming summer (yay, me too!), or next summer (I know that feeling.. that was me at the end of our summer 2013 visit, the last visit we had togetherOriginally posted by differentcountries View Post
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Just keep positive and don't blame each other.. the first weeks after a visit are always the hardest.. it's okay to cry. After a week or two, try and get back into your normal routine, of skyping and when you can't skype find other things to do.. hobbies or friends to talk to, or work a lot, whatever you can do.. you can do this. be strong!Comment
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I can tell you that when my so came to my house to visit me last week,he stayed the whole day and night with me,it was very hard for me the next day,I did cry and I cry often,because of the fact that,it's all just a memory now,and it's so hard because you get to love your so so much,and you grow attached to the person,crying is just a part of having a LDR and you really can't do anything about it,but to cry.Originally posted by dinobonoid View PostComment
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