LDR- We've never met.-Is still interested in Me?

[Helene24]

Hi, my name is Helene and I live Germany.I have been in a relationship with this guy that lives in Chicago for 1 year.

In the beginning of our relationship, he made it clear he was interested in me and he will wait for me until i will go to Chicago and visit him. He was very communicative, sweet and was paying attention to every small detail. After 10 months of relationship he turned very cold hearted,distracted and always trying to find an excuse to his disapparitions.It takes him very long to text me back ( 4-5 hours or more and always uses his work as an excuse)

Few weeks ago we had an argument and he told me "Probably he wont miss anything he has never seen"..Those words broke my heart and I tried to ask him what he really meant.He didn't give me a clear answer, and I'm very confused..I feel like I don't trust him the way I used to because he always finds an excuse to anything. Not to mention that we barely talk..My gut instinct is telling me that he found someone else,but I can't prove it and if it's true I'm sure he won't recognize it.
I asked him if he wants to break up but he didn't answer me..I'm very clueless,all this is confusing me a lot and has a big negative influence in my professional life..

Please tell me what to do..

[p_b82]

Hi and Welcome,

It sounds to me that the advice that is often repeated is true here as well, that right now you two are not communicating properly.

He may not be making an excuse with his work stopping him doing things with you, and maybe he needs to communicate with you better to explain himself.

I'd plan a time to arrange a phone conversation about your situation with him, and make it clear that the nature of the way the call will go will depend on the future that the two of you have together.

Find out why he has altered his behaviour towards you, why in the past year have the two of you not been able to meet, can he come to you if you can't travel etc etc?

He might just be feeling that there is no future and needs some reassurances, he feels he is not getting them, and is emotionally toughening himself up for the breakup that he can foresee (this is conjecture but using it as an example).

don't rush into the conversation guns blazing, but maybe even write him and email or a letter first explaining your feelings - not that he has done XYZ wrong, but that you are feeling sad and hurt by the lack of emotional support and the like.

It does however sound though, that unless something changes between you two, you would probably be better off ending it - as you are not getting anything positive out of this relationship currently.

Hope it goes well!

[snow]

When you asked him if he wanted to break up with you he just didn't say anything? That's not good. That's not something you say when you're not thinking about it.