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He thinks that I'm a psycho :'(

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    #16
    Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
    He was hurt you lied to him, he simply didn't get over it. If you start your next relationship with the truth you will most likely have a very different experience.
    He would show he's careless just so he could not show emotion. Simply by that he uses anger instead. I believe because I started clear again and promised myself no lies he would sometime refuse to see it as he thinks I'm crazy... It's my fault on first place for lying if I simply didn't, things wouldn't of complicate so much.

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      #17
      I feel like you would really be better off just cutting ties with him. The entire dynamic between you two is toxic, and it's not worth trying to salvage. There will be someone out there with whom you can be completely honest, and from there you'll learn to love each other without having to try to prove anything to one another.
      The only person who knows what your behavior and personality are really like, in this situation, is you. You know you're not lying to him and you know that you're not actually as insecure as you might be coming off, but since everything started out based on lies, as much as he may say he wasn't mad about that, there's always going to be an inkling of doubt. Trying to prove to him that you're not a "psycho" turns into a train wreck, because it runs the risk of coming off as very clingy and counterproductive. 'Cause then you get self-conscious, which makes you defensive, and then you start portraying yourself in a light that isn't true to who you are, which drives the wedge deeper between you two. I'm sure he has brought out the best, but as it stands right now, he's only bringing out the worst in you.
      So consider cutting ties with him. It doesn't have to be a forever thing, but I feel like you both need a couple months apart from each other in order to calm down. It'll suck, but you need to take a step back, gather yourself, and build up better self confidence so that you can express yourself as you really are instead of who you thought he wanted you to be.

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        #18
        Originally posted by Harlequin View Post
        I feel like you would really be better off just cutting ties with him. The entire dynamic between you two is toxic, and it's not worth trying to salvage. There will be someone out there with whom you can be completely honest, and from there you'll learn to love each other without having to try to prove anything to one another.
        The only person who knows what your behavior and personality are really like, in this situation, is you. You know you're not lying to him and you know that you're not actually as insecure as you might be coming off, but since everything started out based on lies, as much as he may say he wasn't mad about that, there's always going to be an inkling of doubt. Trying to prove to him that you're not a "psycho" turns into a train wreck, because it runs the risk of coming off as very clingy and counterproductive. 'Cause then you get self-conscious, which makes you defensive, and then you start portraying yourself in a light that isn't true to who you are, which drives the wedge deeper between you two. I'm sure he has brought out the best, but as it stands right now, he's only bringing out the worst in you.
        So consider cutting ties with him. It doesn't have to be a forever thing, but I feel like you both need a couple months apart from each other in order to calm down. It'll suck, but you need to take a step back, gather yourself, and build up better self confidence so that you can express yourself as you really are instead of who you thought he wanted you to be.
        Thank you for that, you actually made me realise this. He does bring the worst out of me in the most cases because he believes it, the truth is, he said we are like way too different and can't get along and I think it is because of the past which fucks up the present... and knows the whole story about me so I can't help it with him. I think all we need now is just some rest, good time rest for me to reflect and gain insight of this whole problem because yes there is a solution to that so I'm pretty sure wouldn't be forever the struggle.
        He would eventually realise that, as I apart myself from him for the time being because too much talking and talking actually makes it worse than before. We both need to relax this off for a while. I should also stop saying the things that makes him think of me as a psycho.
        Last edited by Zap96; October 27, 2014, 04:34 PM.

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