This is going to seem long but please stick with me....
I am a 22 year woman and I have had a few long distance relationships before all turned out less then favorable after my last one I told myself that I would never ever have a long distance relationship...but you know what they say never say never but I digress
I met S online a little over a month ago and we have talked all day everyday for probably 32-35 days, well besides one day where he spent the day with his mom, but anyway a little about how we came to where we are today.
I spent some time on Whisper and I learned that the app is full of men who are less then desirable and this but after probably occasionally getting on that app for 3-4 months I came across a post that said "older man looking for a younger woman for a relationship" I replied with you are crazy you will never find that here, and this is where it all began. I asked him why he was on the app and he said because his friend got him hooked and that he used it to pass time, and I told him I was on just to pass time also. Well after the first week we got along great we were getting along great and he started telling me that he wanted to get to know me better and of course remembering how guys treated me on that app and I turned him down probably a dozen times but finally decided to continue to talk to him. We learned that we have some things in common, like our mother's have or in my case had the same disease, we have the same views of family and child rearing, we have some of the same hobbies we do have some of the same religious beliefs, he used to practice my religion actively he said for 2 yrs he didn't ever miss church, I asked if we were together would he think about being regular in church activities he told me yes he would consider it which is better then a no (religion is very important) and to my surprise he attended earlier today.
We have talked about many many about things, we talked a little about sex I'm not sure what was said but I told him he would have to buy the cow in order to taste the milk (no premarital sex for me) he said he just might, now we have this whole farmer and cow analogy that we joke with he calls me his pretty brown cow and he is my farmer. I told him he is very used sexually compared to me and he said yes that's true, I told him I am not sure if that is fair and he told me that if he could go back and start from unused he would, I thought it was sweet, but think he is just talking just because. We are very open with each other and any question or topic we want to discuss is fair game on both ends.
we use the term "we" all the time also
Sometimes I get confused about things because he doesn't come out and say things, he does tell me he really likes me he says that one day he may buy the cow. He says he could see me as being a good wife and a good mother. I asked him one day what would happen if he died, he told me that the possibilities of that is way off and these are his exact words "Well I guess that would be good for you. You'd be able to be married twice. and I could die happy knowing I was the only man you ever had" He also told me the first yr of us being married that we could talk about having kids? What do I take from that?
one day I just knew for sure that he was just playing with me and I felt very strongly for him and I told him that I couldn't do this, that I didn't want to get hurt or be played with. I told him my heart says yes my mind says no and he said that he has my heart which is very very true, I told him I just couldn't do it, he replied with "if all goes well we will be married and you can have it all" Once again what was I to think of that? But that was the worst it has gotten we didn't talk very much for a few days, I thought I messed things up, but he decided to forgive me. Thankfully!
All has been pretty good since those horrible few days...but today we kinda were discussing and he is a wealthy 40 yr old man I am a unemployed student, I keep thinking what the heck does he want from me, I told him the only thing I have to offer him is my love he says that is enough, but I just can't believe that. Am I wrong? I got really sad about him because he told me he wanted to buy a Porsche and that he couldn't buy one now but he would get one one day and he just has a house full of very nice things, compared to me I have nothing I drive a car that is 18 yrs old and I have no money, like really what does he want from me? But I told him he isn't my type when we were talking and he said why not, I told him the qualities that I look for in men and them being simple is a very important quality to me, he told me just because he makes alot of money that that fact does not preclude him from being simple. He says he is very simple I don't know confuses me. I told him that I am not his type either and he uses the word fallacy with me.
And here is a really big problem with me... in a month he has not called me and keeps saying one day but not now. It hurts my feelings I tell him that it means alot to me and I still feel like he is playing with me. He tells me that he doesn't ask me to change my principles to make him happy... Am I wrong for being a little upset about that?
Really all I want to know is what you all in the forum think about me and him, there is alot of things that we have discussed that may be important but I decided to end the post there. I am sorry for it being so long but there is alot of things to say. Please an honest comments are welcome as this is really important to me. Thank you for your time
Is it possible for this man to love me? Does he want to be something more one day? Do you think he is honest or is this a joke. Do you think he seems like a good man? Is the age gap of a 22 yr old an d a 40 yr old too much? Is it a big deal that he is wealthy and I am poor? Do u think he cares about me? These are just some of the things that concern me.
I am a 22 year woman and I have had a few long distance relationships before all turned out less then favorable after my last one I told myself that I would never ever have a long distance relationship...but you know what they say never say never but I digress
I met S online a little over a month ago and we have talked all day everyday for probably 32-35 days, well besides one day where he spent the day with his mom, but anyway a little about how we came to where we are today.
I spent some time on Whisper and I learned that the app is full of men who are less then desirable and this but after probably occasionally getting on that app for 3-4 months I came across a post that said "older man looking for a younger woman for a relationship" I replied with you are crazy you will never find that here, and this is where it all began. I asked him why he was on the app and he said because his friend got him hooked and that he used it to pass time, and I told him I was on just to pass time also. Well after the first week we got along great we were getting along great and he started telling me that he wanted to get to know me better and of course remembering how guys treated me on that app and I turned him down probably a dozen times but finally decided to continue to talk to him. We learned that we have some things in common, like our mother's have or in my case had the same disease, we have the same views of family and child rearing, we have some of the same hobbies we do have some of the same religious beliefs, he used to practice my religion actively he said for 2 yrs he didn't ever miss church, I asked if we were together would he think about being regular in church activities he told me yes he would consider it which is better then a no (religion is very important) and to my surprise he attended earlier today.
We have talked about many many about things, we talked a little about sex I'm not sure what was said but I told him he would have to buy the cow in order to taste the milk (no premarital sex for me) he said he just might, now we have this whole farmer and cow analogy that we joke with he calls me his pretty brown cow and he is my farmer. I told him he is very used sexually compared to me and he said yes that's true, I told him I am not sure if that is fair and he told me that if he could go back and start from unused he would, I thought it was sweet, but think he is just talking just because. We are very open with each other and any question or topic we want to discuss is fair game on both ends.
we use the term "we" all the time also
Sometimes I get confused about things because he doesn't come out and say things, he does tell me he really likes me he says that one day he may buy the cow. He says he could see me as being a good wife and a good mother. I asked him one day what would happen if he died, he told me that the possibilities of that is way off and these are his exact words "Well I guess that would be good for you. You'd be able to be married twice. and I could die happy knowing I was the only man you ever had" He also told me the first yr of us being married that we could talk about having kids? What do I take from that?
one day I just knew for sure that he was just playing with me and I felt very strongly for him and I told him that I couldn't do this, that I didn't want to get hurt or be played with. I told him my heart says yes my mind says no and he said that he has my heart which is very very true, I told him I just couldn't do it, he replied with "if all goes well we will be married and you can have it all" Once again what was I to think of that? But that was the worst it has gotten we didn't talk very much for a few days, I thought I messed things up, but he decided to forgive me. Thankfully!
All has been pretty good since those horrible few days...but today we kinda were discussing and he is a wealthy 40 yr old man I am a unemployed student, I keep thinking what the heck does he want from me, I told him the only thing I have to offer him is my love he says that is enough, but I just can't believe that. Am I wrong? I got really sad about him because he told me he wanted to buy a Porsche and that he couldn't buy one now but he would get one one day and he just has a house full of very nice things, compared to me I have nothing I drive a car that is 18 yrs old and I have no money, like really what does he want from me? But I told him he isn't my type when we were talking and he said why not, I told him the qualities that I look for in men and them being simple is a very important quality to me, he told me just because he makes alot of money that that fact does not preclude him from being simple. He says he is very simple I don't know confuses me. I told him that I am not his type either and he uses the word fallacy with me.
And here is a really big problem with me... in a month he has not called me and keeps saying one day but not now. It hurts my feelings I tell him that it means alot to me and I still feel like he is playing with me. He tells me that he doesn't ask me to change my principles to make him happy... Am I wrong for being a little upset about that?
Really all I want to know is what you all in the forum think about me and him, there is alot of things that we have discussed that may be important but I decided to end the post there. I am sorry for it being so long but there is alot of things to say. Please an honest comments are welcome as this is really important to me. Thank you for your time
Is it possible for this man to love me? Does he want to be something more one day? Do you think he is honest or is this a joke. Do you think he seems like a good man? Is the age gap of a 22 yr old an d a 40 yr old too much? Is it a big deal that he is wealthy and I am poor? Do u think he cares about me? These are just some of the things that concern me.
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