Was it rushed? :\ now what?

[misterdude]

Hey guys,

Wow, I never thought I'd be seeking advice in regards to this kind of thing... So just a quick rundown:

I met this girl through a social media app about a year ago, and we began teasing/flirting for a long time... that led to phone calls, phone calls to face-time. Things started to really pick up and we began to have a thing for each other, talking daily. We developed feelings and talked for about 3 months that way, until one day I decided to fly out and meet her. She lives about a 2 hour flight away from me.

When I got there, we clicked immediately. It was great. I met her family on the first day. I was very against it and as it seemed too rushed for me... It was a big deal for her because she comes from a culturally religious background which looks down on talking to guys. But she felt serious about me and wanted her family to know about me...

The whole time I was there, she kept asking me what we were, and I could sense a notion that she wanted me to ask her to be my girlfriend and make things official... So I decided to ask her out the day that I was departing.

This was one month ago... things have been perfect since. We face-time all day yesterday, and things were great... fast forward 24 hours. She texts me and tells me that she can't take not seeing me in person. She feels as though our relationship won't grow if we're not around each other... She also feels as though things were rushed, and I can see that. She's very honest, and told me up front there's nobody else... she wants to continue talking the way we were before entering a relationship... The last text she sent me, she said she wanted us to work out and sometimes feels like moving out here just to be with me...

So guys, what do I do from here on out? I really want it to work with her... but how do I go about this? What do I say to her?


Thank you all a ton.

[p_b82]

I don't think you guys need to take a step back from being in the relationship, but it sounds as though some of the topics you are discussing are a bit 'heavy' and you two of you need to spend some more time 'dating' before you go into anything too far in the future.

the Distance aspect is tough, it makes all sorts of things more difficult, especially the not being around apart - but slowing things down a little and taking your time you two will work out if it works for you both now you are in the relationship - it could just be commitment jitters on her behalf. there is a big change from having feelings for some-one remotely and then them coming and seeing you (or vice versa) and it all being very much more real.

[Ambert]

Hi,

I understand that she is feeling like it's rushed. But, this is what happens with Long distance relationships. Once you meet in real, things can go very fast. I mean, I had the same thing. I met my SO on the internet aswell, but once we met in real life, things went so fast. He met my parents, my friends, my roommates, we started dating ' officially' the first day we met, etc...

Maybe you have to ask yourself, and her, how serious is this relationship afterall? What do you both want? I don't know how big the distance is between you two, but maintaining a long distance relationship without it being serious is probably very hard....

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

While I agree with the above poster I would like to add:

You also don't want to be too serious too soon.

Also, I think a lot of people have those days when they doubt everything and worry it won't work out. And everyone thinks it would be easier if they lived near each other. I wouldn't worry too much about it because she may just be a bit insecure. I have those days where I say nearly the same thing to my SO and he simply reassures me that things will work out.