I love my bf so much and would never ever cheat on him,but I have been talking to this other guy,and he knows that I have a bf and he's cool with it,but I really like him a lot,although we have just been talking and getting to know each other,it's just so hard to like him,because I have a bf and love him so much,this new guy is pretty cool. Has anyone had this happen to them before?Having feelings for another person besides your so?Does anyone have any advice for me about this?
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The solution is simple : If you are happy in your current relationship and want to be with your bf, cut off contact with the other guy. If you have romantic feelings for him, he cannot be your friend. Friends don't have romantic feelings for each other.
If it were a situation in which you had to see the guy due to work or living in the same neighborhood, I'd say minimize contact. In this case, I suggest you stop communicating with him completely.Met Online : July 2013
Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
Proposal : December 2014
Closed distance : February 2015
Married : April 5, 2015
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Originally posted by Petals View PostThe solution is simple : If you are happy in your current relationship and want to be with your bf, cut off contact with the other guy. If you have romantic feelings for him, he cannot be your friend. Friends don't have romantic feelings for each other.
If it were a situation in which you had to see the guy due to work or living in the same neighborhood, I'd say minimize contact. In this case, I suggest you stop communicating with him completely.
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My GF is attractive, and has a heart of gold. she is introverted, but oddly that does not come out with her 'shy' persona, and so she is really happy to be friendly and chat about unimportant stuff, which then leads often to the other people having feelings for her. I can't say I was any different. But getting to really know her takes a lot more than just small talk - like many of us really - but her small talk and humour makes her fun to be with when it suits her when out and about.
However since we have been going out, and since the LDR part of things is tough for us both, she has been slowly withdrawing from those that have expressed having feelings for her, even though she has told them she is in a relationship in order to protect herself from ruining our relationship - not due to me being jealous I hasten to add, she tells me all about these other guys, and I trust her. But so that she doesn't in a moment of weakness take more comfort than is appropriate from some-one that is right next door verses me that is 3300 miles away.
IMO you can be friends, you can have deep feelings for a friend on a platonic level, but if it is anything more than that, you have to chose between LDR and 'new guy (or girl)' when they start to appear, as otherwise the LDR aspect will just become a lot harder for you to deal with.
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I've definitely had crushes while dating my SO, even after we got married. For me, they never last long and I never feel any differently about my SO.
What matters is how far those feelings go; if you are feeling strong feelings for this other person, beyond just physical attraction and enjoying their company, I think it's a good idea to re-evaluate your relationship. Namely, are you happy in your relationship? If not, figure out what it is that isn't going right: is there not enough communication? Do you not get to see each other much? If it's something easily fixable, I'd try to fix it. If it's something deeper, maybe take a little time apart. Being bored or feeling lonely is an easy way to start becoming interested in a new, closer person. Just tread carefully and end things with your current SO if you want to pursue something more with this new guy.In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
-- Maya Angelou
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