What's the difference between trust issues and being jealous?The reason I ask this is because my bf is trying to tell me who I can have as friends,he doesn't want me to have any say in who I can have as friends,he has a major problem with either trust issues or he's jealous.I work with this guy that's just a friend,he has a gf and him and his gf have been together for a lot longer than my bf and me.I have told him that this guy is just a friend,he keeps telling me that he doesn't want me to have him as a friend.What are your thoughts on this?Thanks in advance.
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I think the major issue here is insecurity. It's wrong of him to try to control your life like that, and it very clearly stems from his own battles with insecurity (which I suppose would also lead to jealousy). It's a pretty big red flag that he doesn't want you to have any say in who you can have as friends, and to be honest, I wouldn't waste time on him. If he can't handle you being friends with other guys, then he's not mature enough to be in any sort of romantic relationship.
If he wants to make the relationship work, he needs to grow up and get his issues sorted. Jealousy and trust issues are no excuse to be controlling.
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I agree there,and he also accused me of cheating on him by asking me what are you going to cheat on me now,asking me if I was going to have some other guy over my house and spending the night,then telling me if so then please dump me now.Originally posted by Harlequin View PostComment
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Does it matter what you call it? Your SO is acting in ways that are hugely unfair. Run. Run for the hills.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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He needs to stop telling you what to do. He should not be the one to tell you whom you can be friends with and whom you can. He obviously doesn't trust you, so he either tries to work on this issue with you or you will have no other way but to decide for yourself if you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you.
Relationship began: 05/22/2012
First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
Married: 1/24/2015
Became Resident: 9/14/2015Comment
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Trust issues stem from insecurity, which is his issue to work out and not at all your fault. In my opinion, an LDR cannot succeed without solid trust between partners. Add on the fact that he's become nasty and controlling and I would be letting him know the relationship can't continue unless he can find away to deal with his issues.In all the world there is no heart for me like yours.
In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
-- Maya AngelouComment
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Didn't you say he was telling you when not to go to bed and getting mad. You sure this is the guy you want to be with for everComment
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To be honest, judging from your other posts about him and his behavior, I would just say you should end it because he's becoming controlling. Those types of relationships only end in heartache. Trust me.Comment
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^^^ThisOriginally posted by differentcountries View Post
If he is this controlling long-distance, I'd hate to see what it would be like living CD with him. And something I have found to be true many times - whatever it is you are being accused of is actually what they are doing and they are projecting it onto you. Just cut ties and be done with the drama. You don't need it.To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
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Have to say I agree with the other posters.
This guy can't deal with an LDR - Trust has to be 100% my GF tells me everything as I have requested, even when it would be something that will upset me - like a guy she nearly got together with before me still saying things that are inappropriate now that she is in a relationship.
Yes I have limits like any person, but I trust her completely and she knows if anything happened I would walk out and not look back.
I would never ever tell her who she can or can't be friends with, I can say (and have done) whether I trust them, or think it is a good idea she hangs out with them, but I leave her to make her choices and go and have fun. I get the same treatment in return.Comment
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Same. I'm not comfortable with one of my SO's friends (though he's known her for over 10 years) and he knows that, but I would never tell him to stop hanging out with her. Especially since they consider each other best friends.Originally posted by p_b82 View Post
But, like I said before, I think your SO is becoming pretty controlling and seems like he doesn't know how to do deal with a relationship in general.Comment
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