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"You met online? Like on Catfish?!" Rant

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    #1

    "You met online? Like on Catfish?!" Rant

    oh my gosh, I'm so tired of getting asked this question. My boyfriend and I were and obviously are in a relationship before we met, but it was nothing like Catfish. I wouldn't even consider dating him until we skyped. Does anyone else get this? I've gone there twice now and lived in Aus for about a year before coming back for a new visa and to visit family and I STILL get asked this.
    I've been watching a new (?) show called 90 Day Fiance. Now that tugs my heartstrings! I may be lucky enough to not have to get married to stay with him, but I really understand what all those people go through on that show. Such a good show, I highly recommend it to anyone here~
    Tags: catfish
    #2
    It bothered me in the beginning of our relationship, but it doesn't anymore. We met doing what we both love, nothing wrong about that.

    Relationship began: 05/22/2012
    First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
    Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
    Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
    Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
    Married: 1/24/2015
    Became Resident: 9/14/2015

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      #3
      We didn't meet online, but after we met we spent most of our first 2 months dating online, during which I even bought him a phone, well I did not dear tell anyone I did that but there was a moment there where I thought, oh well, I might not hear from him again!

      I have heard some stories about "Turks wanting to go to the West and starting relationships for money" - or the other way around that Western women more or less pay for sex in Turkey. That has coused some challenges in our relationship because I earn much more than him and most of the money for dates etc. come from my pocket - but we have developed a system that we are both comfortable with. Of course I see why Turks are interested in moving to Scandinavia, himself maybe included, because our worklife regulations/welfare system is better, I don't see what is wrong with wanting to move somewere if you also love the person.

      My friends were really sceptical in the beginning, but as they see we are still together and also get to know more about him and our dynamic, they see that we might be a good fit. I think they will warm up to him even more when they finally meet him, too.
      Last edited by differentcountries; November 5, 2014, 05:43 PM.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        Not yet, but he's flown me down twice now. He'll be here in or around March, hopefully. He's coming to meet everyone, then I'll be flying back with him

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          #5
          I don't get that. I mostly get, "long distance! That never works. He could have a double life and you not even know" and all those sorts of comments.
          Where in Melbourne does your SO live?

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            #6
            I've never received the catfish comment. People are always surprised and impressed that we maintain a relationship with so many thousands of miles between us.

            I watch that show "90 day Fiance". I can't say I like how the relationships are portrayed. The producers have not made it apparent how difficult it is to get that fiance visa and that you have to prove the genuineness of the relationship. It kind of give the impression that people start dating online then they apply for a visa a few weeks/ months later and bam! they have a fiance visa and have to get married in 3 months. The positive though is that at least our LDR stories are being told.
            Met Online : July 2013
            Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
            2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
            3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
            Proposal : December 2014
            Closed distance : February 2015
            Married : April 5, 2015


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              #7
              I used to get that when we first got together. My friends were downright rude about it and it frustrated me, but I knew I wouldn't be able to make them understand. Now that it's been nearly 5 years, no one ever says anything and, if anything, they're impressed. Just ignore them and do what makes you happy.

              Married: June 9th, 2015

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                #8
                I think it's so much more common now that it's not looked at quite like it used to be. My friends and family know I did thorough research on him too lol. I flew to him first and had about 15 people I had to text as soon as I met him after I got off the plane.

                Most people are pretty impressed when they find out that we do the whole LDR. When I got to Indy the first time, it was Valentines Day. We went out for dinner and the waitress was all "Wow, look at you two! Very in love." She asked how long we'd been together and had to explain the story and that we'd only been together in person for about an hour total at that point. She sat down and talked to us. It was pretty funny actually.
                To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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                  #9
                  Not the "Catfish" thing, but I do get the reactions where people don't take our relationship as something serious. I mean because we don't live in the same place it can't be a real actual serious relationship.
                  What evs, I know it's the best relationship I have ever had

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                    #10
                    I got the whole catfish thing for the entire first 6 months of my relationship. I was constantly having to show pics of us video chatting but people still gave me the same mess.

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                      #11
                      Originally posted by Ahava View Post
                      Not the "Catfish" thing, but I do get the reactions where people don't take our relationship as something serious. I mean because we don't live in the same place it can't be a real actual serious relationship.
                      What evs, I know it's the best relationship I have ever had
                      This is more common for me than the "catfish" thing.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by KellzieK View Post
                        This is more common for me than the "catfish" thing.
                        Likewise. I mean I started my relationship probably long before this whole "catfish" started, so for me it wasn't really a concern, the only thing I really got was outside family members (who live 260 miles away...) being all snobby about it and being all "ohhh be careful" lol

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                          #13
                          I was very secretive about the relationship at first, because I knew the responses would be rather unpleasant. I have gotten to that point now that I really don't care what people think. The relationship is about my partner and I, not them.
                          ---------------
                          Closed the distance: 14th January 2015

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                            #14
                            I have never gotten a Catfish comment, but I do have a lot of people alway worried it's not going to work out. Anytime I mention a small frustration someone will be like "Are you sure this relationship is worth it?". Of course it's worth it, it's just a normal frustration you run into in any relationship whether they are in your same city or miles away. Just because we had a moment we didn't agree on something, or he did something I wasn't happy about doesn't mean he or I are questioning the relationship.

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                              #15
                              Like most, I only gotten comment about the relationship not gonna work out. It does bother me, but not in a way that i think its not gonna work.. But that if they think that LD not gonna work, what about CD? There are a lot of breakups / divorces happened too even though if its CD. So what i really wanna to tell right on their face is "MYOB"..

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