SO's Friend a Surprise Opponent of LDRs: Bad Influence?
I know I haven't been posting much lately and I really, really need to respond to all of my threads that I started. I will. Just have been taking a somewhat hiatus lately, as I realized that I wasn't communicating with my friends as much as I would like about my life, so I thought I would catch them up (which is really important, because I am long-distance from all of them right now and really appreciate the ones who bother to actually still talk to me, even though I am finished school and kind of out of sight, out of mind).
Anywho, on the topic of friends, I was thinking about one of my SO's friends. I know what you are thinking! Not G, L, or B again! It's not about them, actually (well, maybe they are connected a little). Remember that B is his bestest friend and how I met her and her serious beau when I last went to see my SO? For me, I think this was the most successful meeting and I really liked them both. Now, the dude, who...is A, is doing his PhD in Communications/Sociology and is specializing in human sexuality. I have been told, too, that he and B have a semi long-distance thing going with about a 3 hour travel distance and with work, etc. their visits are sometimes a couple weeks apart (I know that doesn't seem so bad, compared to some of the situations on here, but I think it still qualifies and would make them sympathetic to our LDR). G, too, seems to be keeping the semi LDR thing going with...also G, which has surprised me a bit, but I think that sustaining this is quite an accomplishment for her--good for her. I know, I am rambling (but these things do connect, I promise)! I would anticipate, then, that A would be kind of used to LDR tales, between his own relationship, G's, and my SO and I and would be supportive of people in LDR situations. A does a campus radio show for a university in a neighbouring city (from my SO's) and it is all about dating, romance, and sex. Apparently, my SO listens to it often times and I have felt kind of curious to hear it myself, given that my SO has passed on some information from the show to me and, also, I was interested in A's research when I met him. I keep trying to check it out, but somehow I always just miss it (because of the time difference, I am usually eating dinner with the family or on Skype with my SO...but I suppose he could still be listening since he often has his radio in the background). I was trying to listen tonight, but just missed it again. Though, I did find a typed out Q and A from a couple weeks back, where the girl had described that she had met a guy on vacation whom she really liked and is now her boyfriend to start the year off with and did A have any tips for helping LDR's to work. Well, I was utterly shocked! A said flat-out to dump the guy (without any further background or sympathy) and that "all" the research (which he made no citation for, by the way...and yes, I haven't gone as far as he has in the university ranks yet, but I am pretty hep on thorough research and citations) suggests that LDRs never work out! He then went on to encourage her several times to essentially not waste her time and to date around, instead (yes, there are merits to getting to know different sorts of people, but there are also merits to LDRs and commitment, in general, IMO). Just after I read the article, my SO phoned and I had to try not to pass on any of the shock I was feeling about A's LDR opinion (also, I felt like a bit of a creeper going to such an effort to look things up about one of his friends and my SO not really knowing that I have any interest in hearing the radio show, but I guess I am free to listen to what radio shows, etc. I like). I think A's advice is pretty one-sided and bogus (I was originally tempted to give you all a link to the post, so he can get some feedback to the contrary, but I wasn't sure that that was fair somehow and may have a potential to compromise my and my SO's anonymity) and it makes me question what other information my guy seems to be picking up (I think he really admires A) and possibly filtering into our relationship. Should I do or say anything about this? (I know, I can't censor stuff, but I mean...say...I could tell my SO that I found the article and that it surprised me, because I thought A was pro-LDRs and what does he think of what was said? Although, even that is feeling a little like stirring the pot when things are going better for he and I...but I do rather want to discuss it).
Also, anyone else have any situations where you thought an SO's friend or one of your friends were sympathetic/ supportive of LDRs, only to find out the opposite?
Anywho, on the topic of friends, I was thinking about one of my SO's friends. I know what you are thinking! Not G, L, or B again! It's not about them, actually (well, maybe they are connected a little). Remember that B is his bestest friend and how I met her and her serious beau when I last went to see my SO? For me, I think this was the most successful meeting and I really liked them both. Now, the dude, who...is A, is doing his PhD in Communications/Sociology and is specializing in human sexuality. I have been told, too, that he and B have a semi long-distance thing going with about a 3 hour travel distance and with work, etc. their visits are sometimes a couple weeks apart (I know that doesn't seem so bad, compared to some of the situations on here, but I think it still qualifies and would make them sympathetic to our LDR). G, too, seems to be keeping the semi LDR thing going with...also G, which has surprised me a bit, but I think that sustaining this is quite an accomplishment for her--good for her. I know, I am rambling (but these things do connect, I promise)! I would anticipate, then, that A would be kind of used to LDR tales, between his own relationship, G's, and my SO and I and would be supportive of people in LDR situations. A does a campus radio show for a university in a neighbouring city (from my SO's) and it is all about dating, romance, and sex. Apparently, my SO listens to it often times and I have felt kind of curious to hear it myself, given that my SO has passed on some information from the show to me and, also, I was interested in A's research when I met him. I keep trying to check it out, but somehow I always just miss it (because of the time difference, I am usually eating dinner with the family or on Skype with my SO...but I suppose he could still be listening since he often has his radio in the background). I was trying to listen tonight, but just missed it again. Though, I did find a typed out Q and A from a couple weeks back, where the girl had described that she had met a guy on vacation whom she really liked and is now her boyfriend to start the year off with and did A have any tips for helping LDR's to work. Well, I was utterly shocked! A said flat-out to dump the guy (without any further background or sympathy) and that "all" the research (which he made no citation for, by the way...and yes, I haven't gone as far as he has in the university ranks yet, but I am pretty hep on thorough research and citations) suggests that LDRs never work out! He then went on to encourage her several times to essentially not waste her time and to date around, instead (yes, there are merits to getting to know different sorts of people, but there are also merits to LDRs and commitment, in general, IMO). Just after I read the article, my SO phoned and I had to try not to pass on any of the shock I was feeling about A's LDR opinion (also, I felt like a bit of a creeper going to such an effort to look things up about one of his friends and my SO not really knowing that I have any interest in hearing the radio show, but I guess I am free to listen to what radio shows, etc. I like). I think A's advice is pretty one-sided and bogus (I was originally tempted to give you all a link to the post, so he can get some feedback to the contrary, but I wasn't sure that that was fair somehow and may have a potential to compromise my and my SO's anonymity) and it makes me question what other information my guy seems to be picking up (I think he really admires A) and possibly filtering into our relationship. Should I do or say anything about this? (I know, I can't censor stuff, but I mean...say...I could tell my SO that I found the article and that it surprised me, because I thought A was pro-LDRs and what does he think of what was said? Although, even that is feeling a little like stirring the pot when things are going better for he and I...but I do rather want to discuss it).
Also, anyone else have any situations where you thought an SO's friend or one of your friends were sympathetic/ supportive of LDRs, only to find out the opposite?
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