Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

how could this happen to me? :(

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    how could this happen to me? :(

    I met a girl who knew she liked women but had never acted upon these desires. After a 16 month online friendship, where our feelings were so strong, we pretty much acted as a couple without giving it a title. We met up twice and it was amazing. The first time I met her thinking I needed to meet her for closure because she categorically will not accept the possibility of being with a woman full time forever. Our feelings were so strong and we were so perfect together that I was aware I was maybe picturing something better than reality so knew I needed to meet her in order to get over her or at least confirm in person what she’s like.

    The first meeting was amazing, we ended up falling even harder and planning a second meeting. I flew over from London to Detroit again and this time we had an even better weekend because we already knew how perfectly we worked. Even though we were head over heels in love we had our official first date and it was the best. Nothing could have gone better.

    She’s a 4th year med student with tons of residency interviews and can’t meet for two months. Somehow, this has resulted in her shifting her feelings for me. She’s told me the situation and limitations of this relationship are too difficult for her (being with a woman, the distance, the end date of the relationship) all things that are her problems. I love her to death and have taken her baggage on board as my own but it just seems so unfair.

    The things I know –

    Theres no point being with someone who wont wanna be with me past another 6 months tops

    Too much has been said and done for us to go back and fix things

    I’m 27 years old and have never felt this way about someone before and to lose it, is the scariest thing in the world to me

    I go to Dubai in 2 weeks I should be excited

    I know if I were giving a friend advice on my situation I would tell her to cut her losses and try to move on and that I deserve better



    I think I am just so angry because I done everything for this girl. From ordering cookies for when she was studying 14 hours a day for exams to bringing about 20 Indian ingredients from London to cook up the best 7 Indian dishes I can make for her. To reassuring her and listening to each time she was having a religious mental battle about her sexuality to convincing her that she had nothing to worry about with me in person in terms of doing anything and that it was all at her pace. I helped her write her personal statement and made her feel so happy and comfortable with me.

    Even though I knew the situation and the limited time we had together I took it all on board because I felt that it would be better for us to walk away from this after a failed relationship than to just walk away with all this love and emotions and be so angry and bitter.

    A week before she ended it I was a bit upset with her for something she had done and I had asked her to either step up and be a better gf or we need to end this because I was getting hurt. She agreed on stepping up because neither one of us were ready to call it quits. I’m so mad that if I wasn’t ready to break up why dump my a$$ four days later.
    Sure my method was wishful thinking, thinking that a few more meetings would naturally make us drift apart because it required too much effort and really her lack of emotions when it came to me was annoying but surely that shows I was started to think about moving on from this, but when it came to crunch time I just couldn’t do it. Because I love her.



    I’m so angry. Why me?

    #2
    Those sorts of feelings of love are going to be hard to get over, but from what you said before, this relationship was a bit doomed as she just wasn't committed to it to the same depth that you were, as sad as that is to say.

    I do a *lot* more for my GF than she does for me right now, but I do not resent any of it - I guess that to me would have been the early warning signs to have walked away from things as you yourself felt they were hugely imbalanced for quite some time.

    It is more of a shame you were not able to walk away with the happy memories of 'what if's than to know for a fact that unfortunately you two don't have a future, but that is the way it works sometimes.

    I am sure there will be another person out there that will cross your path when you least expect it, and you'll fall in love again. Hang in there, enjoy your trip to Dubai, and start to move on with your life.

    Comment

    Working...
    X