Am i Weird and being way too demanding???

[DinaAndMehmet]

I told my sister about this and she thinks im really demanding so i wanted to ask u all

my SO is a university student and he also tutors. University students in turkey are not allowed to be working so tutoring is the best option. he gets paid pretty well and he is really good at it. he puts adds in the news papers and gets tons of offers. He gets tutoring students that are male or female that range in ages. His past two relationships were with two of his tutoring students. I dont feel comfortable knowing the fact that he spends a least 4 hours a day with that person and his history of dating his clients. SO, i had asked him if he could not tutor women btwn the ages of 18 and above (younger kids are fine lol he isnt a pedophile lol) is this too demanding to limit his opportunities.? is it wrong to ask him to do so? i feel more comfortable knowing this fact because we are about 5,500 miles apart

[L3m0n4d3]

I'm not expert but I would think it comes down to trust.. the best thing to do in my opinion is share your concern with him or just ignore it I suppose..

[underthewater]

Hi there, I'm kind of in your boyfriend's shoe here as I'm working as a language tutor and almost all my students are 30-40 years old men who have a successful career (and most of them happened to be single). I've never dated any of my students though. My boyfriend knows my job and he also knows I'm earning money from doing this job so I get to visit him (it's a lot easier for me to take time off than him) or go travelling with him in another country. He literally said he's proud of me using my language skills to earn money and get to know more people.

I can understand your concerns and I think it's very unprofessional to date one's client. I guess you can let your boyfriend know your concerns instead of asking him not to teach a certain kind of student. I always think a good partner in a relationship should take initiative to clear things that bother his/her SO once he/she is told so. Hope this helps.

[Silviar]

I can understand why you asked him, but I don't think it comes down to demanding so much as trust. If you don't trust him enough to have those female students, why? Just because he's dated his students doesn't mean he'd pick them over you. And if he was going to pick someone over you, I don't think you can stop that anyways, and then you're better off not being with said person who's a terrible boyfriend/girlfriend.

I wanted to add, though, I think it's terribly unprofessional if he'd date a student of his.

[Michelle]

I think you have a right to feel uncomfortable, but maybe not a right to tell him he can't tutor female students that are older than 18. That's going a little too far.

You definitely need to express your concerns. I think you just need his reassurance.

As far as the past, as long as he didn't cheat and started dating these students while at the same time he was in a relationship with someone else, then I don't think his past behavior is worrisome.

[paulawriteslove]

I think you have a right to feel uncomfortable, but maybe not a right to tell him he can't tutor female students that are older than 18. That's going a little too far.

I agree with Michelle on this one. It is very unprofessional to date your clients and I can understand how that makes you feel uncomfortable. But you need to trust him. Just telling him he can't tutor clients of a specific age is pushing the situation aside. If you decide to tell him how it makes you feel and trust him then the trust that you develop through this problem will make you two a stronger couple in the long run.

[Zephii]

Has he ever fallen for one of these students while already in a relationship? Generally, people who are happy and fulfilled in their relationships don't cheat or leave their partner for someone new.
You can't demand that he doesn't, but asking politely, just for your piece of mind, isn't a crime. But, like everyone else said, just talk to him.

[greeneyes]

Unless he has a history of cheating on his gfs, I really don't think it should be an issue. Being LD does make us feel a little more insecure than a CDR, but sometimes we have to put those insecurities aside and realize if they love us they will remain faithful. If they cheat, well then they are not worth it!

[DinaAndMehmet]

I agree with Michelle on this one. It is very unprofessional to date your clients and I can understand how that makes you feel uncomfortable. But you need to trust him. Just telling him he can't tutor clients of a specific age is pushing the situation aside. If you decide to tell him how it makes you feel and trust him then the trust that you develop through this problem will make you two a stronger couple in the long run.

~~~loool it was actually a really funny story about one of the two women clients he dated. she was like a "MILF" and he was a cute first year university student (i thought the story seemed like any man's fantasy)

but honestly...I really do trust him but i can not deny the fact that 2 out of the 3 relationships he had before came from women he taught. He doesnt have a history of cheating and he was really understanding when we spoke about this subject before i left turkey. i have never had an LDR and just the thought of him spending 4+ hours with a person ..i have to admit makes me uneasy. It is a private setting and it is meant to be one on one. its just the little evil green monster that gets inside my head and i become Miss jealously pants lol

[underthewater]

Do you mean 4 hours each session? That's a long time for both the teacher and the student! If it's 4 hours week I think it's just fine, it's not that much time anyways.

[DinaAndMehmet]

each student is different some ask for one session that per week or more it all depends on their schedule's
so yah some may have that kind of time....like his previous client/ex