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Long Distance Relationships can be hard

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    #1

    Long Distance Relationships can be hard

    Hi everyone

    A friend told me about this website, I thought she was crazy at first, but then I read some of the post on here and I am willing to give it a shot.

    I've been in my long distance relationship for about 3 months now, We met online and we immediately started developing feelings for one another, but the only problem is, I live in North Carolina and he lives in Texas.

    I guess what I'm asking is how can I make it threw this relationship?
    Thanks for Reading
    Tags: None
    #2
    Communication and trust is the key to an LDR if you don't have those it simply won't work. I live in the UK and my SO lives in the USA, I'm actually a week into my first visit with him. We wouldn't have made it this far if we hadn't talked to each other as often as possible. Obviously an LDR is different for everyone and they don't always work the same way.

    I find that having a goal to work towards be it a visit or closing the distance helps keep the relationship together if there are bad times.

    I wish you luck xx
    Flying out to meet him for the first time: 16th November 2014 - 14th December 2014
    Flying out to meet him for the second time: 3rd June 2015 -18th July 2015
    Flying out to meet him for the third time: 12th December 2016 - 12th January 2017
    His first flight to me: April 2018 DENIED ENTRY
    Flying out to meet him for the fourth time: 23rd June 2018 - 7th July 2018
    Got Engaged: 12th December 2016
    Married: June 29th 2018
    Hoping to close the distance: 2019/2020

    Comment

      #3
      In a sense, would you say a LDR is to be treated the same as a CDR?

      Being that you don't rush into things? Take things slow at first?

      Comment

        #4
        In a way but with a LDR there's quite a lot less physical contact which in a way is nice because when you do see each other it's amazing. It's very difficult but it's the best relationship I've ever had because I know that I trust him 100%. Also the communication is a lot better. =)
        For he is mine and I am his.
        Nothing beautiful is ever perfect.

        Comment

          #5
          My relationship experiences are a little different than yours since I was CD for about seven months before my SO left. But now that we've been LD for almost as long, I can honestly say that (as much as long distance sucks), I am so incredibly thankful for the experience of it. Since you're around my age, I feel like you can relate to my favorite part of being LD: I get to be me. I know, yeah, yeah, it's not a healthy relationship if you don't get to be you and spend time with your friends and all of that, but if we're being honest, EVERYONE does that. Relationships change you and you spend less time with friends and on school work and all of that. If I had to say positives about being in an LDR, it's that I get me time without sacrificing us time. When he was here, there was always that battle: do I go and see him or do I spend tonight on my own/with my friends? And honestly, even if I picked one of the latter, I always ended up with him by the end of the night. But now, I don't have a choice! I have to have "me time" and make time for friends, but I still have the support system of my boyfriend. So anyways, what I'm trying to say there is this: LDR's don't have to be all bad things. They get a bad reputation, but they're really do have some benefits.

          On to the bad parts: LDR's SUCK. but really. You've been in one for three months. You know. In no way are they easy, but it helps having an end result in mind. You can't be long distance forever. Someone has to move or both of you have to move, but something has to give in the long run. You can do LD for years, but at the end of the day, if neither of you are willing to move to make it CD it will not work. With that being said, you chose every single day that you want to be with your SO. Sure, everyone else does too, but LD is different. You don't have to be with someone you don't see very often, yet you like/love them enough to want to go through it. Make sure you communicate on a regular basis. My SO and I do daily messages to make each other feel like we're there for the day to day things. We also do Skype dates a lot. Watch a movie, play a game, or just talk. We never get bored of all the things that we can do on Skype.

          Lastly, reach out to the community here if you are having troubles. I'm a talker. I will share my feelings with just about anyone who will listen, but if you've never been in an LDR then you have no idea what I'm going through not being able to see my SO for half a year (or at least months at a time). It helps to have people who have been doing this for years and who understand what you're going through. And it's always nice to have the great internet folks tell you that you're being stupid about something and just talk to your SO. So good luck! You can do it! It'll get harder before it gets easier, but you are strong enough to make it through even on the worst days.

          Comment

            #6
            It's hard, but definitely not impossible like I previously believed. If you put in the effort to make it work, it'll work. The advantage of starting off long distance, I found, is that my girl and I have learned so much about each other that when we finally meet in person, it'll be amazing.
            ---------------
            Closed the distance: 14th January 2015

            Comment

              #7
              The advantage of LD is that you have to talk. A lot. I met SO in person but the first months of our relationship was spent online, talking. I also got very crafty... I coped the missing him by getting a whole new hobby making stuff for him. The DIY -industry made some money on me... If you can, plan visits at regular intervalls, and the next date before you go home again. I didn't have that possibility in the beginning, but later that has become very useful for us. One advice, even if you fight, still say good night before you close. You can't make up with physical contact and so your words are so very important.
              I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
              - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



              "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

              Comment

                #8
                Bubblehits,
                Thank you so much for this information It really helps knowing im not alone.

                We talk everyday as much as possible I feel we have a strong relationship and we are planning a trip to see each other soon

                Comment

                  #9
                  MissingMyDutchLove,

                  Thank you so much for the advice. I try to make a lot of me time as well. I work a lot and go to college as well, so it kind of helps me keep my mind off the LDR. This is the first one that I have ever been in and to be completely honest I like the experience. Id rather wait for my love to be with someone who I fight with all the time.

                  Me and my SO talk everyday, just about all day if we could. We message one another, talk on the phone and we Skype often as well, just so we can get use to seeing one another for the next few months. We have so many things in common that we are beyond ready to see each other because it is going to be amazing. We tell one another every night we can do this and give positive thoughts before bedtime.

                  Thank you so much for the advice

                  Comment

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