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I'm in a open relationship long distance

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    I'm in a open relationship long distance

    hi I've been in a relationship for 5 years, I was cheated on a few times in this five year relationship but the thing is it was not physical it was somebody from another long distance relationshipwe are now to the point where we was in a open relationshipfor a year with different people but it was still a long distance with people we have agreed to break it off with the other people and just be me and her but if she does not want to break it off what should I do?
    Last edited by joshuaex; November 22, 2014, 03:02 PM. Reason: not understandable

    #2
    Your post is a bit confusing. I'm not sure what questions you are asking?
    Met Online : July 2013
    Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
    2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
    3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
    Proposal : December 2014
    Closed distance : February 2015
    Married : April 5, 2015


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      #3
      I'm going to break it down more I'm sorry

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        #4
        If she wants to continue to be in an open relationship, and you want to be exclusive, and she doesn't want to become exclusive with you, then you can either a) continue to be in an open relationship or b) not be in a relationship with her.


        2016 Goal: Buy a house.
        Progress: Complete!

        2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
        Progress: Working on it.

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          #5
          Well, you said you have both agreed to be exclusive now, so if she breaks that agreement then that should be a deal breaker. That would prove that she is not trustworthy and has difficulty being monogamous. It doesn't bode well that she cheated on you before, so now you need to decide to walk away if she does it again.

          Have you two met in person?
          Met Online : July 2013
          Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
          2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
          3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
          Proposal : December 2014
          Closed distance : February 2015
          Married : April 5, 2015


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            #6
            yes we have met in person lots of timeI see her every 3 months, usually I get to spend 4 or 3 days what her, she agreed to break it off next year, in January

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              #7
              Let me ask you - did you agree to the open relationship previously because you found out she was cheating and you wanted to keep the relationship with her so you just went along with it?
              To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

              ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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                #8
                yes at first but I was actually in a good second relationship but we ended it because ultimately it would not go anywherebut I was happy how things turn out at the time because I made a wonderful friend

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                  #9
                  Ok. It looks like now you are looking for exclusive and she has agreed to end it for the New Year. As long as you both agree to it and she sticks with it, then you should be fine. If she doesn't break it off or she ends up cheating and wanting the open relationship again because she is happier in being in an open relationship, I think it would be time to end it and move on.

                  Personally, I could never be in an open relationship and I also would not stay with someone who cheats. There are people who are extremely happy in open relationships and if it works for them and everyone agrees, that's what matters. Just don't put yourself in any type of relationship that you don't really want to be in just to keep someone.
                  To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                  ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by joshuaex View Post
                    yes we have met in person lots of timeI see her every 3 months, usually I get to spend 4 or 3 days what her, she agreed to break it off next year, in January
                    When do you intend to close the distance? 5 years is a long time to be in a LDR
                    Met Online : July 2013
                    Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
                    2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
                    3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
                    Proposal : December 2014
                    Closed distance : February 2015
                    Married : April 5, 2015


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                      #11
                      I'm not sure when because she lives at her grandma taken care of her

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                        #12
                        I am not sure how the "monogamy from January on" thing will work out. Sounds like stopping to sleep with other lovers is her New Year Resolution.
                        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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