Insecurities

[Gata]

I came here because I need a hug and there´s no one around who hug me or say something to me.

Happens, that I´m really afraid, every day I love my boyfriend more and more, we have six month together and well… today I noticed him kind a boring, kind of tired and he wasn’t as loving as always (well…he was extra loving until like a couple of weeks ago), like if every day he cares a little bit less about me…a tiny bit.
I used to have a lot of interests and a work when I met him but I lost my job and I couldn’t get one, I want to start my own business and I even have a house which I´m not currently living in.

The plan is, he is going to come and meet me when he can buy his ticket and also, she is going to come and stay with me.
But now, that I saw that, I´m really insecure, I´ve never had a problem with him, he is respectful, but sometimes I think, what if he thinks I´m becoming a boring girl?...

I know…this are my insecurities and I need to work through them, but sometimes I feel vulnerable…like today
I´m just afraid he doesn´t like me when he come here, that one day will bore him to dead when we are in skype, also we didn´t had something… ahm… an encounter of “xxxthat kind” in months and sometimes I think…what if he doesn´t feel any desire for me?, what if I don´t surprise him anymore?
Really…I hate to not have someone to run to when I feel like this, I feel really judged, I just wanted to talk to someone, I feel really insecure, I know I need to work it on my own, but right now…

Jezz… I just need warm words…to not feel so scared

[Miasmata]

First off, don't be ashamed that you need help. Nobody is an island, and nobody can just tough it out all alone. You've come to the right place, and there is nothing wrong with asking for some support.

Feeling insecure before the first meeting is absolutely normal. Never forget - He fell in love with you and is willing to make an LDR with you work, he wouldn't be on board with that if you weren't worth it. Don't stop persuing your interests and don't stop doing things for yourself, the only way you'll become boring to him without it being an issue on his end is if you stop being your own person. Keep taking care of yourself and maintain your hobbies and career plans, it's good for you and for the relationship.

You are in this relationship because you both feel it's worth it, so try to trust yourself and believe that this is the truth. You are worth much more than you think

[differentcountries]

After six months, some of the first infatuation might start to wear off. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you a whole lot. Maybe he is working hard to keep his job, save money and come visit you? Some people, my SO included, doesn't always like to be intimate on Skype because that makes him miss me even more. Sometimes I wonder if he has lost interest, but when I go see him that has not happened at all.

Use your time apart to get to know each other even better. Look into his eyes. Tell him what you like about him, or that you would like to hear compliments about yourself! I usually ask for 5... Have faith in your SO and take care of yourself. If I feel really down an insecure, I find that getting a massage helps me to center myself. I know a local school that does it cheap because they are students. Talk to your SO about your insecurities together you can find ways to make you feel more secure.

[Petals]

Hey, it's normal to have some level of insecurity in the early stages of a relationship and even more so when you haven't met in person yet. It's good that you recognize your insecurities as emanating from within and not try to pass it off on him. All you have to do now is try to reign them in by being positive and being your 'better' self. I say being your better self because sometimes we have tendencies that are deep- rooted and counterproductive - insecurity and or low/self-esteem for example.

When a negative though enters your mind, recognize it as negative and replace it with a positive thought. Also, find some new activities to be involved in and keep growing and evolving a as a person. There's something spectacular about doing something new that tends to validates our self worth. When we feel amazing we emanate confidence and we pull people towards us. Who knows, maybe it's you who will get bored or realize that he's not the right person for you and move on. You have that option too .

All the best .

[Gata]

First off, don't be ashamed that you need help. Nobody is an island, and nobody can just tough it out all alone. You've come to the right place, and there is nothing wrong with asking for some support.

Feeling insecure before the first meeting is absolutely normal. Never forget - He fell in love with you and is willing to make an LDR with you work, he wouldn't be on board with that if you weren't worth it. Don't stop persuing your interests and don't stop doing things for yourself, the only way you'll become boring to him without it being an issue on his end is if you stop being your own person. Keep taking care of yourself and maintain your hobbies and career plans, it's good for you and for the relationship.

You are in this relationship because you both feel it's worth it, so try to trust yourself and believe that this is the truth. You are worth much more than you think

I´m so thankful for this message!, lately I feel like I´ve lost a little bit of myself because of putting a lot of attention in my relationship, I love him with all my heart and I hate to feel this hideous fear of him being bored and exhausted of me.
I just hate the idea of someone spending time with me without loving it.
I just need to change my focus a bit, go back to myself which I desire with my soul.
Today I went to a wedding and I sent him a picture of me all dress up and well, again, he weren´t so expressive but I didn´t let that make my day something sad, even if I felt kind of like that I tried to go back and feel the taste of my moments.

If you don´t mind I´d like to copy and print this for me so I can dear it whenever I feel sad, insecure and fearful, I tend to forget important things.

Thanks for every single one of your words, this universe will return to you this help you gave me.

[Gata]

After six months, some of the first infatuation might start to wear off. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about you a whole lot. Maybe he is working hard to keep his job, save money and come visit you? Some people, my SO included, doesn't always like to be intimate on Skype because that makes him miss me even more. Sometimes I wonder if he has lost interest, but when I go see him that has not happened at all.

Use your time apart to get to know each other even better. Look into his eyes. Tell him what you like about him, or that you would like to hear compliments about yourself! I usually ask for 5... Have faith in your SO and take care of yourself. If I feel really down an insecure, I find that getting a massage helps me to center myself. I know a local school that does it cheap because they are students. Talk to your SO about your insecurities together you can find ways to make you feel more secure.

I tried to do that of the compliments this week but, honestly, I would just like him to say it because he feels them.
I love to feel he is interested in me, but at the same rate I don´t like to ask for attention because I think that I deserve it and at the same time it makes me a bit angry.

I know he is not...well...really busy and immerse in his work we spend a lot of time together in skype.

I will try to not take this so serious...I think I need to have a good cry though, I really feel sad.

Thanks for being here, you are incredible

[Gata]

Wow... it´s impressive how cool is this fact of having so much people giving me an answer directly from their hearts!

I´ve always been someone that takes care from her consciousness but when I´m in a relationship my vision gets blurred and I get confused as freak and I get sad, and I forget and then panic, I want to work through this and become a more self secure human being because this challenge is an opportunity for that.

I was telling in another answer I gave, that today he just reacted overly plain to a picture I sent him, he used to tell me how much he loved them, now, it was just like if I´ve posted something non transcendental and I felt really...mh...sad, but I didn´t let that interfere with the fact that I wanted to have a cool day.

What scares me the most is that I love him and he didn´t used to be like that...I don´t understand, I´ve asked him if somethings wrong but he said everything is ok so...

I just feel the need to protect myself because I´m really sensitive to changes in the behaviors of people it´s a pain, to be honest, sometimes I don´t know if I´m over reacting or something really wrong is happening.

The only thing I want is to be conscious and let my fears and insecurities behind, I love him really much and I don´t want to let that get between us.

[differentcountries]

if he means them, it will work even if you ask for compliments. And the game is two ways: you will both give each other five compliments. I will usually go first, but if I feel extra self concious I might want him to start. I love getting spontanious compliments but I find it is also bonding to sometimes remind each other why it was you fell in love or the things you discovered along the way.

[AnnMarie Green]

Your emotions are quite normal for LDR!! ((Hugs)) There aren't many of us who havent felt these feelings many times over.. I have found that if I immerse myself in other things, I don't spend quite as much time in worry land!! LOLZ The compliment game is good, my better half and I go back and forth with the things we miss most.. Like, I miss twirling your hair.. I miss holding you.. I miss rubbing your beard.. And on and on it goes... That seems to make us feel better.. Good luck on your path!! P.s....Never at any point forget who you are yourself.. Don't get so tied up in anything that you begin to disappear, for that is not healthy...