I'm afraid she's going to leave without a word

[JohnGoober]

Hello to all.

I've been in a relationship from few months now and we really like each other and we're set to meet in 2 months, we've planned everything and I'm gonna be flying to her place. Everything has been great and I'm her first boyfriend.

She's having holidays now and she went back to her country (parents house) and she mentioned, she needs to prepare for an exam in these 2 months. She said she doesn't have internet connection at home and she would contact me as soon as she gets a new internet. She was quite sad the day before she flew to her country because she told me she wouldn't be able to talk much and she can't think of getting separated from me.

It's been a week now and no message, no call or anything from her. She's offline on facebook, skype and her number is switched off..Maybe, she has a new number now. I understand she's busy but she could spend 30 minutes to go to an Internet cafe to let me know she's busy.

I really have feelings for her and I'm wondering why she hasn't contacted me yet- Met someone else? Decided to quit the relationship? Sick?
I never got into relationships because of the fear of getting abandoned, it's my worst fear. And now, I'm afraid..she's going to leave me without a word.
Why would she do this when everything was great? We've known each other for more than 7-8 months.

Should I try to contact her real life friends? I'm seriously worried.

[FloridaLovesChicago]

Unless you've spoken to her real life friends before or if you're confident they know about you - I'd say do not contact them. Honestly, if you haven't met in person and if she's just disappeared out of nowhere...there's no telling what is really going on. It could just be like she said...but I could not go a day without speaking to my boyfriend - regardless of what type of exam I had to study for. It could also be a whole other situation all together. All I know that is if I had to be away for a while, I'd make sure my boyfriend knew when he'd be hearing from me again. Maybe she's in a relationship in that country. Maybe her parents would not approve of an LDR...there are so many things that could be happening right now. Since she did give you a reason as to why she wouldn't be contacting you, I'd suggest just letting it ride out for a little while and see if she does reappear at some point. Good luck to you!

[snow_girl]

Maybe, just maybe this might be crazy but maybe she actually doesn't have internet connection and she's been busy catching up with family.

[JohnGoober]

Unless you've spoken to her real life friends before or if you're confident they know about you - I'd say do not contact them. Honestly, if you haven't met in person and if she's just disappeared out of nowhere...there's no telling what is really going on. It could just be like she said...but I could not go a day without speaking to my boyfriend - regardless of what type of exam I had to study for. It could also be a whole other situation all together. All I know that is if I had to be away for a while, I'd make sure my boyfriend knew when he'd be hearing from me again. Maybe she's in a relationship in that country. Maybe her parents would not approve of an LDR...there are so many things that could be happening right now. Since she did give you a reason as to why she wouldn't be contacting you, I'd suggest just letting it ride out for a little while and see if she does reappear at some point. Good luck to you!

I understand but how long should I wait like this? She told me all about her friends but they don't know about me. She said she would introduce me to them when I meet her. Just a 5 minute talk is more than enough for me. Why is contacting her friends is a bad idea?

[snow_girl]

Don't contact her friends, if they don't know about you it will come off as weird and creepy. Seriously.

[FloridaLovesChicago]

It may or may not be a bad idea - but honestly, you don't know her "real" life. There could be many reasons as to why she can't speak to you right now. It's probably just exactly what she said - she doesn't have internet...but what if it isn't? You do not want to cause any problems for her, do you? Maybe her religion would keep her from dating someone outside of it and she can't let her family find out...that may be stretching it but I hope you see my point. Be strong and just sit back for a while and let her do what she needs to do. I understand you miss her and I understand how hard it is not knowing what's going on. But believe me, if she cares about you - she will come back around. Don't put yourself in her life where she hasn't opened it up to you (aka her friends)...to me, that's crossing boundaries and that's never ok. I can't give you a time limit to wait but I would give it a little while. If she honestly does not have internet - and she's without transportation, it may be really difficult to get in touch with you. Just relax and hope for the best. There's really nothing else you can do. Everything will probably end up just fine.

[differentcountries]

Do you have a phone number to call her?

[JohnGoober]

I do have her phone number but that number is out of service in that country =/ I have no means contact her now. I guess only thing left for me to do is- wait. I do have my own work and I spend my day with my friends and family but when I go to bed, I can't sleep..when everything gets quiet and calm, I think about her. its like the anxiety builds by day by day.

[AnnMarie Green]

Yeah, this is one of the many hardships of not having your lives integrated.. I cant imagine having been in a relationship for a few months, and not having really integrated lives at all.. Idk, maybe we were strange, but I was introduced via phone, fb n skype at 4 months, even though we both knew there would be plenty of objection... We became friends with each others friends, and now we are all friends!! If there were some type of issue there, it def should havebeen being discussed.. But this is just my opinion.. Blessings!!

[snow]

Yeah, this is one of the many hardships of not having your lives integrated.. I cant imagine having been in a relationship for a few months, and not having really integrated lives at all.. Idk, maybe we were strange, but I was introduced via phone, fb n skype at 4 months, even though we both knew there would be plenty of objection... We became friends with each others friends, and now we are all friends!! If there were some type of issue there, it def should havebeen being discussed.. But this is just my opinion.. Blessings!!

Wow, judgmental much?
OP obviously stated that their SO went back to a different country where there is no internet at the house. Doesn't mean they don't have their lives integrated, it simply means he has no way of contacting his SO. It's hard to say what's going on, but depending on the family situation, she could simply have no free time to run out and go to an internet cafe to talk to him for a couple minutes. Not every family is supportive of relationships and sometimes you are forced to stay at home, cut off from everything.

[0897klpq]

I'd say just give her time. If you are special she will come to you. I am sure, if she is offline on everything is because she has no Internet. She even gave you a heads up warning

Bunch of other people I know have been busy.

Hang in there buddy!

[JohnGoober]

I'd say just give her time. If you are special she will come to you. I am sure, if she is offline on everything is because she has no Internet. She even gave you a heads up warning

Bunch of other people I know have been busy.

Hang in there buddy!

I sent her a message saying.." If your intention is to disappear without a word, at least have the courtesy to tell me " and then she replied. She explained to me everything. We're talking now but not much since she's busy with her exams and she has no internet. We talk only 30 minutes a day now.