what is special about LDR that non-LDR have

[WorshipLove]

Hello everyone

my english is not too good, so pardon me :P


i wanted to ask, what are some special qualities about LDR relationships (once you close the distance) that non-LDR don't get to learn?

I know that, for instance, you get to value the person more. What are some other special qualities that you learn?

[differentcountries]

I have never written as many cards in my life, and crafted so many books...

We are also supergood at going on dates, which maybe in CD life I would not feel the need to do that often

I get good at prioritizing and cutting down on expences, because otherwise I could never afford travelling like I do

[rufuz]

In my case it's definitely the language thing. If I wouldn't be with my SO I wouldn't talk spanish at all although I learnt it in school. Before him I was just to lazy to talk spanish even with my godfather who lives in Mexico too. Now I am so happy that I have already learnt so much more in such a short time. Also I like that you learn to be an independent person although you are in a relationship. And I also think you value the other person more because you know how it feels to be without them.

[R&R]

You learn to communicate better in an LDR. When most if your time is spent apart, you have to talk and communicate. They physical aspect may not come into play until much later.

I think you also have a tendency to be much more appreciative of finally being together once you close the distance instead of just moving in with someone who you saw all the time anyway because you were CD. You just don't take those day to day things for granted.

[differentcountries]

The process of learning one another is different. On Skype you talk-talk more than chitchatting in person, and in person the talk tends to be pretty serious too because it is to nice to finally talk in person about certain matters.

I would never in a million years have thought to begin learning Turkish if it was not for him. Not because I don't think that it is worthwhile, it is just that apart from English I never considered myself to be that good with language. I was never like a language geek that thought that was so interesting. I can make myself understood in German quite well, but that is about it. Even my language teacher says that love is the BEST motivation to learn a new language, because you want your loved one and your mother-in-law to understand you, that will always be more important than jobs and educations. My language class is made up almost exclusively of people who are or used to be in LDRs, and we are quite a motivated bunch...Soon going to take level 1B if all goes well.

The motivation is a thing too, especially in international relationships. Why would you go through the hardships, if it was not for love? There is no room for second-guessing, either you are in or you are out, either it is a summertime fling or, as my SO says, "the love of the century".

[Miasmata]

We recently had this thread, I hope that helps: https://members.lovingfromadistance....things-in-ldrs

[KBNJDM091214]

My name is Katie, and the things I have come to learn and value for the past three months is patience, understanding, communication, and honesty. All four are equally very important!! Despite the romantic beliefs of the media, and many other people, love is not a fairytale. Love is hard work. We live in a generation that only thinks about "me, me, me" and that is why many relationships fall apart. (Not to mention if you are lacking in one of the three virtues that are listed above.) I have also learned that love should NOT be defined as a feeling. It should be defined by the actions you take with your SO when you're feeling anything but "love." Say if you're in an argument, or there's a misunderstanding, or you say something you simply wish you didn't, which creates a negative effect. Just remember that the feeling of being in love will come and go, just like any other emotion does. And that is a tough reality to face for most. It's been tough for me. But it's very true. Another important thing to learn is to AVOID all dangerous situations. That could mean a lot of different things, but some of the main ones would be going out to clubs and bars alone (especially after an argument. Don't ever, ever run away from your problems with your partner.) Remember this above all else; they are your partner for a reason. You are a team. And you simply can't protect each other's back when you're too busy arguing with their face. He is not just my SO, but also my best friend. And he knows things about me that I never thought I would be able to tell anyone. I've had my questions, my doubts, and my insecurities. But he's been there for me through all of them, even though they were all mainly about us. He's never abandoned me, and I know that he would walk through fire before calling this quits. To make it last, that's how both partners need to be. Be dedicated. Be committed. Always remember why you fell for them. Never give up. (Unless it's an extreme case.) And just be the ideal partner. Be the kind of partner who YOU would want to be with. Just have faith together that it will work, and take it one day at a time.

[snow]

I think what we have learned throughout the LDR is that you have to be patient and we are a lot more patient with each other than we'd probably be if we dated close distance. Of course we value the time we spend with each other much more and even little gestures, like holding hands, are more important than they were in any previous relationship of mine.
I don't think I can really say the LDR made our communication stronger, because I know it's mostly him. He is really good at it and has a good impact on me. My English has gotten much, much better through the countless hours we spent talking lol

[rhabdoviridae]

I agree with Snow - we value the little things like being able to hold hands, watch TV or go grocery shopping together. I think you need to be good at communication to make the LDR work in the first place, so I don't know that we became better at communicating necessarily. But overall it's matured us in a way that we weren't in the 5 or 6 years we dated CDR before becoming LDR.