The Benefits of a LDR

[MadMolly]

I just got out of the shower and into bed (it's midnight Monday here) and I get a call from Dave saying he needs to come up for a day so will be here tomorrow afternoon when I finish work... I was quite happy and hung up, then suddenly I realised... I was out of razors, my pretty makeup was at my other place (staying at my dad's tonight) and I only had my boring/unsexy work clothes to meet him in! I guess he's going to have to see me as I *usually* am and not how I doll myself up to see him

It got me thinking... He'll be moving here within a few weeks, yup that's permanently! and I started thinking of all the things I took for granted before.

1) Shaving!! I usually am very lax about this, esp if I won't see him for more than a month, I just do it when *I* feel like it. Now with him and his attentions nearby all the time (heehee) I'm going to want to do it more and more! I know I don't have to but I just prefer it that way so there's an extra effort I have to worry about more! (Perhaps I should just go to the waxer's).

2) Smelling pretty. Dave is nuts about my sweet smelling hair and perfume which I always save for the night before his visits as he loves smelling me, haha. Now he's going to find out I only smell truly terrific now and then, otherwise I smell like nothing or baby powder most of the time.

3) Nice clothes. I'm almost always dressing up a little more than usual when he visits; I'm sure he doesn't notice but I can't help it. Now I'm going to have to relax a little and wear my house pants in front of him some time :P

4) Personal space. Now I'm sure this won't be a problem as he is very aloof like me but I am worried I'm going to find out he is a "stop by"-er. As in, "Hi Molly! Just thought I'd stop by for a quick visit!" without any warning. I like to know if I can have a Molly-night or a social night. I value my personal time and space very highly.


Can you guys think of any more things I might be forgetting? I HAVE lived in his city in the past for a few months, and I've also had close-distance bfs before, but I can't remember the dynamics!

[Taija]

Our visits always last several weeks (since we try to take to make the most of the expensive tickets) and majority of that time we just laze around the house in comfortable clothes without make up or anything else fancy. We do get dressed up when we go out or something, but I prefer seeing Jesse in his "natural habitat".

I know what you mean about shaving, though. Although I shave my armpits and nether regions regularly, I'm reaaally lazy about shaving my legs when he isn't around. :P

The best things about being in a LDR is that it keeps things fresh. Although it is frustrating and stressful and all that, every time we see each other it feels kind of new and exciting and we sure don't get bored of being around each other.

[maja]

lol yea i totally see ur points.
i dont wear anything überspecial around him and all that, he loves me just the way i am and thinks make up is overrated (im his natural beauty), but when it comes to shaving...or rather waxing in my case...oh well. im sooooo lazy when hes not around. like last week, when he decided on wednesday that hes was gna come on thursday, i was really screwed. i managed to get my armpits waxed but didnt have money for the rest so i had to quickly shave it and ugh my skin got really badly irritated and dried out after that. but he had to put up with it. also, i was on my period so that was quite annoying aswell. usually i can plan to carry on taking the pill if i dont wanna get my period when he visits. but i guess we ll have to get used to it, and its not like we love each iother only for our bodies. plus, we are only human! imagine once u live together an ur still worrying about such things....

[Tanja]

Andy and I don't really dress up when we meet - well when I go pick him up at the airport I do usually put some make-up on or some nice smelling deodorant but that's pretty much it... And in my house we just wander off in our bed shirts and underwear, I love it that I don't have to think about the way I look all the time (although I worry about my messy hair quite a lot!), it's just nice to relax and to know the person there loves you for everything you are and you don't have to shine the image of yourself for him.

As far as shaving /waxing is concidered, I never shave my legs or armpits, I've done it a few times before but usually I just won't bother and it's not like I've got a big black bush growing under my arms
Plus if we feel like it, we can shave each other, it's much more fun than doing it alone! :P

[uk_girl]

I used to dress up a lot for J but nowadays we're that comfortable and settled, then we don't really - unless we're off out somewhere nice obviously.

I just think of it as, he's woken up next to me when i'm suffering from a stinking hangover, probably looking like death, and he's helped me when I've been ill so he's seen the very worst of me! I feel the early morning versions of ourselves are the most unflattering we can look (unless we fall in a puddle or something) so anything else is a bonus!!!

We kinda seem to take the mick out of each other anyway as our own unique way of affection. Like I'll say "God you stink today - sure you've washed for me trampboy?" and he'll say "What the f... are those on your feet dosser"

He actually smells GORGEOUS

I would be scared of him coming over if I needed to wash my hair or something... I am stupidly paranoid of having greasy hair as it's gross.

[Mio]

Lol, I'm in the same boat regarding the shaving issue. When he is away, shaving come every now and then. But I have to learn as you Molly to start doing it regularly now as he will be moving here next month. Ugggghhhhh......I hate shaving! But well, at least he has seen me in every type of look, dolled up, couch potato, hiking gear, etc, I am fortunate that he is a man of balance. He belives that you should dress according to the situation, nice when we go out, or comfortable in the house. So to answer your question of things you took for granted, I think you got it all covered.

[Tanja]

Awwwwwww, I'm so jealous of you guys cause your SO's are moving close to you! Lol!

[Mio]

Awwwwwww, I'm so jealous of you guys cause your SO's are moving close to you! Lol!

But your boy is moving soon too right?? I really hope so!

[Jackie]

I'm the same exact way with shaving my legs! Ugh, it's just such a bother to make a huge effort like that if nobody is going to be here to enjoy it!

Whenever I'm with Chris, I do tend to wear make-up more often than I do when I'm at home. I rarely ever wear it here unless I have something I really need to cover up or I'm going out somewhere with friends.

[Veiled_Dreamer]

I second, third, and fourth the shaving legs thing. >.> It's such a pain since you can't even really wear shorts or capris in winter here, so there's no point. I always wear makeup since I feel like an artist when I do my eyes, haha, but I don't dress up special for the webcam.

I think another good thing about an LDR is you're always communicating. Like, some CD couples seem to take communication so lightly, and I'm sure you guys understand how important regular communication is in LDRs. I really value my SO's attention and I try to give him mine when he deserves/wants it. And also, since we're always talking, I feel like I'm a lot more comfortable discussing things with him.

[MadMolly]

I've just remembered something I've been planning to do for aaages, but thought I always had the time coz "it'll be ages til the distance ends"... I've wanted to get a "special" piercing *wink* but as there is a week or so healing time of no-touching, it would be perfect to get while in a LDR and then surprise him... I had better do it soon then!

[KeeperoftheAirmansHeart]

Idk if this has been said or not, but i think on benefit more towards your relationship is that:
1) You get more used to being independant (less co-dependant)
2) Brings out a lot of things in eachother you wldn't know otherwise, and helps you work on problems you never realized was there.
3) It strenghtens your relationship (if it doesn't then this can be a make or break part of a relationship. This may help you realize if you want to spend the rest of your life with this person or not. You realize if you're really compatiable or not. It reqires the two of you to WORK together) =)
3) Learn to be closer emotionally, which will or could draw the two of you closer physically =) Plus... uk if you're waiting for sex for 3 months to even a year, its gonna be SOOO much better when you finally see eachother again ^_^

[Darth_Taco]

I actually don't go through the whole shaving thing :P. I absolutely hate having body hair like you wouldn't believe it! I always have my legs shaved. Ad for the pubic region, waxing is easier XP. I have no underarm hair so yay! All of my hair is on my long eyelashes, my eyebrows that thankfully don't resemble other Mexicans' by looking like they were sharpied in, and my scalp. It's almost down to my butt now!

As for everything else...I have never dressed up that much for him. I'm a recovering drug addict, he's seen me at my worst. I still wear the same junkie uniform as I call it :P (just really old clothes with tons of holes). I go about my normal routine. The only thing I do differently is eat. I don't eat unless people are around. I really don't know why. Besides that...I think things will be almost the same. I don't like doing things differently just for one person :P.

[MadMolly]

Ohhh I have trouble eating around him too. bahaha. I get through it but I always pick "quiet" food... this is embarassing but apparently I'm a really loud eater and I don't know why. My throat always makes a "gulp" noise thats very audible whenever I swallow food, and I DO eat with my mouth closed!!

[lunamea]

LOL So, a "shaving thread"...

Actually, a lot of that doesn't apply to my husband and me, as we've seen each other in pretty much every situation, too. I like it that I feel comfortable around him even when I *know* I don't look good. We do dress up when we go out or have a special evening and it's nice, but I don't feel embarrassed anymore when I'm not shaved or nicely dressed... on a daily basis, that's just very hard to keep up!

Of course, when you haven't seen each other for a while, you don't want to look like total crap, but the problem is: you usually do after 24 hours of travelling, right?! When I got back home for my last visit, I combed my hair and did a little bit of make-up after I got off the plane, but I think I still smelled awful! The shaving thing... I actually did it right before I left for the airport, which was very stressful because I had to pack simultaneously etc. ... being the one who waits for the other to arrive is certainly better!

What do you do when you talk on webcam? Do you dress up/do make-up, too?