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LDR Should I end it or wait!

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    LDR Should I end it or wait!

    Hi my name is Martin

    My girlfriend of one month will be visiting on Monday from North cali down to South cali to visit me everything is booked Inn and bus ticket.. I have lost all trust in her and what she says.

    I messaged her thru a diff phone as a diff alias letting telling her I liked her and that I thought she liked me she ended up sending two pics of herself to him and asked for one in return I was texting her from my phone as well at the time and had told me a wierd number was texting her. Then soon after told me she had to go to sleep. but in the diff alias she kept texting for another hour.

    She said two or three times she was single but nothing really to break up over or so I think. I let it go for now.
    The next day which was yesterday the right opportunity presented itself and I ask so wht happened with that wierd number. She told me that it was her ex husband texting her from a fake number on a messagener app. And that when she told him she had a bf he revealed it was her ex.

    But that's obviously not true since it was me.
    This little lie she made so much bigger.


    Sorry if I forgot to mention she is 28 I'm 23

    That same night she said she was sleepy and went to sleep she lied about going to sleep and was up for two hours talking to a friend from her game.

    I asked next day why she was sleepy if she went to sleep early but she just said sh e didn't feel like getting up.

    I honestly am a suspicious person I've been cheated on alot. Do I break it off when I see her or not don't know what to do or handle the situation but I don't think I trust her anymore.

    #2
    I would say see how the visit goes and how you get along! You shouldn't text her under a different name in the first place, that is not a sign of trust or a healthy relationship. If you need to use means like that, you don't allow for a strong foundation to be built. Of course her reaction to it wasn't great either…I don't know your story, so I can't really give much advice, but just to see how her visit goes!

    Comment


      #3
      I think you should stop lying to each other and that YOU should start this trend by telling her all that you have discovered and show her that from now on, you intend to be honest with her. Otherwise it will be lying to find out the truth, that is like calling war to stop the wars, it will just not work.
      I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
      - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



      "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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        #4
        Oh she got caught big time!

        Just read your post again - One month of dating kinda gives her a free pass. Maybe she has some doubts about your sincerity and the direction of the relationship.

        Your move isn't honorable and shows that you have serious trust issues. On this instance though it worked in your favor.
        I think you should have a heart to heart with her during the visit. Yes tell her the truth and explain that anymore lying and flirting and you will end it. You need to make a greater effort to be more trustworthy.
        Last edited by Petals; December 7, 2014, 07:02 PM. Reason: Clarified post...
        Met Online : July 2013
        Met in person : April - May 2014 (3 wks)
        2nd visit : June - August 2014 (2 months)
        3rd visit : December - Jan (2wks)
        Proposal : December 2014
        Closed distance : February 2015
        Married : April 5, 2015


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          #5
          Thats called extortion, look it up.

          Comment


            #6
            What do mean?? :'(

            Comment


              #7
              Well, you've both lied to each other. You have mislead her knowingly and she has lied to you without knowing it's you. Honestly, neither of you seem to be ready for any type of a romantic relationship since you can't do the key thing in a relationship - be honest!

              At least Northern Cali to Southern Cali for the trip isn't that far if you decide to continue with the trip. You need to come clean. But if you two should decide you really want to try - are either of you really going to be able to trust the other going forward? IMHO, I think it would be very difficult for you both to move forward if there has been this much dishonesty in the first month of the relationship.
              To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

              ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

              Comment


                #8
                I hear you I'm kinda ashamed I had to do this to confirm she's lieing.. I'm not trying to justify but I didn't do this until a week ago said she might have to go to Florida and get her dog that she loves and would have to live with her ex husband until she found a way back but that could be months.. I didn't know what to say or think I just said there is no way I could possibly be OK with that.. And that is when my official distrust started.. And why I feel like I went to far and maybe why idk if I should end it or try to make it work..

                Comment


                  #9
                  What you did wasn't right but I can understand what brought it about. Only you can decide if you want to try. If it was me, I'd end the relationship. I could never trust someone who I know has been flat out lying to me and I know would continue to lie to me if they weren't caught red-handed & confronted.
                  To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                  ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Landeros91 View Post
                    What do mean?? :'(
                    You set her up to fail. You wouldn't have sent her those texts otherwise. These games are silly and it would seem to me you are not mature enough to be in a relationship

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by snow_girl View Post
                      You set her up to fail. You wouldn't have sent her those texts otherwise. These games are silly and it would seem to me you are not mature enough to be in a relationship
                      Oh, he definitely set her up but she failed all on her own. I agree that he's not ready for a relationship and she apparently isn't either.
                      To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                      ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Thank you

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                          #13
                          Thank you for you honesty

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Guess I'm not ready I thought I was. Been single for five years.. How do I start a relationship correct with trust if I live by Model everybody lied :'(

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Think that everyone is innocent until proven guilty.... just don't be the one to push them to guilt.

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