How old is too old?

[JC2122]

I'm trying to find out what people think should be a cutoff in age difference between couples? I am 22 and my SO is 40. I like older men, but socially what do you think is an acceptable range.

[R&R]

I've almost always dated men older than me. I put my personal limit at 10 years. I figured anything beyond that would just be too much of a difference in what we wanted out of life. Our life experiences would be vastly different. There would definitely be too much of a generation gap. I didn't want to date anyone who technically could be old enough to be my father.

[Cristiana]

Me and my SO have 14 years of age gap. After almost a year we've known each other, I can tell is not about age gap as much as the "life wishes gap".

If a teenager and an adult's priorities in their life are the same and are compatible, then it's ok. But if the gap is also in their wishes (e.g. one wants to have fun and the other one wants a serious relationship) then is not that ok.

I'll put my personal situation as an example. I want to live my life, study, travel, for many years to come. His biological clock is starting to tick instead. This is something due to the age gap, and something that could be a deal breaker.
So to me, it's about priorities that one could have on that specific age.

[Petals]

Once people are of legal age, the age gap in a relationship is a personal choice. There are some obvious and not so obvious disadvantages to having a very large age gap especially when the younger person has not had a lot of real world experience. Age is not the sole measure of maturity and life experience, but many people get stuck on that.

I have always dated older men (10 -18 yrs older), never dated anyone close to my age because quite frankly when I was younger I had very little in common with most men my age. When I hit my 30s I decided I wouldn't date anyone more than 12 yrs my senior, but then the sexiest man ever messaged me and though I was hesitant I couldn't let him go because he was 4 yrs older than the age limit I had in mind.

The reasons I didn't want to go older than 12 yrs is due to the fact that I was concerned with health issues, quality of life once my partner gets older and the fact that I want to have children. My ex-husband did not take care of himself physically and I was constantly worried about his health and that also affected our sex life.

My SO is better shape than most guys my age and does not have any medical conditions. He is physically active and we share a lot of common interests. He is also happy to be a father again.

Some people think it's selfish to have kids when you are older but that's not my opinion. I had older parents and and I turned out just fine. My only issue is that my parents didn't give me a sibling.


OP, people will say you have daddy issues, you are a gold digger and all sorts of negative things, but while some of these things might be true in some cases; it's not true in all. Assess the reasons you find older men more attractive and if you are comfortable that there are no serious psychological reasons for your preference then do what's best for you.

I know many people in successful age gap relationships/marriages.

Answer to your question : most people believe that an age gap over 10 yrs is questionable and above 20 yrs is down right disgusting to most. IMO it's your choice.

[AnnMarie Green]

16 years between my hubby and I, and we couldn't be happier!! (Until the distance is closed,lolz)

[differentcountries]

I don't think there is a limit really. If you love one another and your life goals go together, you can be with anyone. But like all things you must learn how to deal with it.

I was once a bit smitten with someone who tecnically could have been my mother. She had a son that is seven years younger than me. I think it was a bit hard for her to understand the life conditions I had, for instance she never quite got how much less money I earned. But then again that is not just age, but also curiosity.

I am 7 years older than SO, he was 27 when we met and I 34. I can sometimes feel the age /life difference in that I have had experiences that he has not yet or not before me anyway. But I think he also think I can teach him things, and that he wants to be where I am, and I learn from him to too.

[lucybelle]

If the younger one is under 26, age gap more than 7 or 8 years seems inappropriate. If older, I could see up to 15 years difference.

[Sarah96]

My relationship has an age gap of a 8 years. It doesn't bother me and it never has, it also doesn't bother him. I'm of age and I think that's all that matters. We both have common goals in life, similar interests, we are both emotionally on the same level, so I don't think there is anything wrong since our relationship is healthy. I really don't think anyone has any say in another person's relationship as long as both are legal adults and the relationship is healthy.

[whatruckus]

I must be the odd one out because my limit is same age as - 3 years older. Lol.

[lovefrom2800milesaway]

I must be the odd one out because my limit is same age as - 3 years older. Lol.

Nah, you're not the odd one out, haha. It's just a personal preference.
My SO is 3 years older than me and I feel like that's the best age gap for me too.
I could go with a few years older, maybe 5 at the most.. but any more than that is too much for me.

[Petals]

I must be the odd one out because my limit is same age as - 3 years older. Lol.

Not odd at all - you are just normal lol.

[snow]

If the younger one is under 26, age gap more than 7 or 8 years seems inappropriate. If older, I could see up to 15 years difference.

I agree with this.

[dizzyupthemeg]

I don't think an age gap is the issue as much as a life experience gap. At 22, I can't imagine what I would of had in common with a 40 year old. If I were 42 and he was 60 it might be a different story.

[Miasmata]

I tend to find older men pretty attractive, but none of my partners so far have been/are more than 2 years older than me. Oh well, perfectly fine too.

I agree wholeheartedly that it's about compatibility. The age is definitely a factor there, but it highly depends on the individual people involved. What age difference works for you isn't something anyone else can decide for you.

[p_b82]

For me I would not go to far from my own age range, from my own personal experience of what people of certain age ranges typically want out of life, so 5-10 tops either way. I am one day older than my GF!

That said my ex was two years younger and we could have been 15years apart in terms of maturity!

I think as far as it comes about what is 'right' is down to the individual couples. Some might be able to cope with all the assumptions and views of people outside of it, other's may not, ignoring the internal challenges there as well!