feeling broken.

[Cat-and-Austin]

Six days before my SO was supposed to come over she tells me she isn't. Can anyone give some coping tips with this. I think I'm still doubting everything and it hasn't hit me yet.

[Redheart14]

Has she said why? Or have you two broken up?

[differentcountries]

What are her reasons for not coming? Are she not able to because of time or money, or is it that she doesn't want to visit?

[Cat-and-Austin]

We have been fighting a lot lately since she has started school and she didn't try to make time to spend together. Tickets were bought and hotels were booked so I'm just really crushed.

[Redheart14]

We have been fighting a lot lately since she has started school and she didn't try to make time to spend together. Tickets were bought and hotels were booked so I'm just really crushed.

Wow, I'm sorry! At xmas too. Did you pay for her flights? You deserve better, sorry.

[Cat-and-Austin]

Wow, I'm sorry! At xmas too. Did you pay for her flights? You deserve better, sorry.

She paid for her flight. I payed for the hotel stay in DC.

[Colourfuldreamsx]

Sorry to hear that I can understand school being a very busy and stressful time but I'm sure most of us would jump at the chance to spend Christmas with our SO. I really hope you guys sort things out, it's going to be a lot of money wasted If she doesn't come. Wishing you all the best.

[p_b82]

Can't offer any advice about how to cope i am afraid, but I would suggest you two work out why you are fighting and see if you can patch things up.

Unless the ticket was refundable (most aren't) it is going to be a waste to not take advantage of the chance..... but make sure in your conversation it is not just about the money. the important part here is the two of you have the opporuntity get together and work out your issues in person

[sweetshay]

Sometimes when people don't know how to deal with conflict they'll jump to the easy solution of "I just won't visit you then." My ex SO tried that tactic so much when we were dating. He would also distance himself from me emotionally after we went back home from a visit and it always broke my heart. What some people they need to realize is that seeing each other could probably make what issues you have less relevant for the moment because of the joy of simply being together. Problems are always better worked out in person anyway like p_b82 said.

If she cares about the health of the relationship she needs to swallow her pride and have the courage to just go. Besides, you don't want the bitterness of having spent wasted money on a trip. Try to convince her that seeing her is way more important than the fights you've been having and that you're willing to work them out. She can't just run from things and stay in her comfort zone in a relationship (especially long distance). It takes 2 and sacrifices have to be made even if they are difficult. Also, there is a large distance between you two. Every opportunity you get to visit is crucial since, typically, the further the distance the harder it is to visit.

Finally, if she doesn't budge in her decision, I know how much it can hurt. I think that if you and her can't hash out the issues just yet (it may take some time) just take some time for yourself. It can be easy to fall into a depression in situations like this. Spend time with family and friends a little more, keep busy, and stay positive. The last thing you want is to be stuck doing nothing, that just makes you think about the bad stuff constantly. This doesn't have to be the beginning of the end of your relationship.