Future wife?! What is he thinking?

[JC2122]

Hello Again,
I want to just write out a conversation word by word me and my SO had yesterday, It got me to thinking....I want to see if I am being the typical girl and way over-thinking but idk we will see what you guys think. Here goes:

Caution: This is long, but could be entertaining

(After sending him a screen snapshot of one of the comments on my other thread about how old is too old: I told him some of the comments were a bit creepy)
SO: Why is that creepy?
Me: Isn't it, I asked the community how old is too old. You were 18 when I was born. And you were probably sexually active too.
SO: I don't think there is too old. If you are old enough to make an educated decision then you're good to go
Me: Well I was just curious what I would get
SO: Ah
Me: And I don't care I love that you are older
SO: I know
Me: As long as you can handle someone so young and inexperienced
So: I can
Me: Cool beans
Me: I have literally never said that before in my life
So: Are you sure
Me: Yes I don't know where that came from
So: lol. It's cute
Me: I love you
So: I love you too
Me: What are your goals
So: I've kinda got my goals already
Me: You've met them?
So: For the most part. I work for myself. Have a place I like. Have a decent car. No debt
Me: well good job
So: What more could a person want?
Me: A relationship? A family?
So: Well people aren't goals
Me: lol they aren't
I have tons of goals
So: I know you do
Me: you didn't ask about them
So: We've talked about them already
Me: Ah ok
So: mhmmm
Me; you are quite today
So: Not really
Me: A lil bit
So: We talk all day long. You do realize that don't you
Me: Kinda off and on
So: but thats still a lot
Me: Not really today though
So: I text you more in a day then I do most people in a month
Me: Wow, I guess that is alot, thanks for putting out the effort
So: You're welcome
Me: Well you by far are the person I talk to the most
SO: Then why complain lol
Me: I don't know, I want to spend time with you, this isn't ever enough
So: I know
Me: Do you feel the same way?
So: I dunno
Me: That's a no
So: That's not a no
Me: You know what you told me the first couple weeks?
SO: Whats that
Me: That you would never do a long distance thing again
So: Hmm, well your moving back. so
Me: Maybe I'm torn
So: I know
Me: you really pay attention
SO: Yes, I do
Favorite Part:
Me Would you kiss me if I had a cold sore on my lip?
So: Sure
Me: Lol thats funny
SO: Why
ME: It's a bit gross
So: It's love. You worry too much about gross
Me: Do I?
SO: Yes you do
[]Me: It's a real issue in my head, worrying about being gross out by being with a man
SO: Oh
There's always women
ME: EEeew gross no way!
What would I do with a woman?
SO: Marry her?
Me: Ewww, you marry a man then
SO: Well I thought you wanted to marry me. But ok
Me: Lol
Good night

He hasn't talked to me only maybe for 30 mins early this morning. Did I hurt his feelings? Is he interested in marriage? Does he sound like he loves and cares about me?

Oh and this. He said earlier this morning "You're killing me with the semantics" What does that even mean?
Thanks for reading till the end

[Petals]

He's thinking that ...you think too much!

If this is a typical convo then hmm...I'd be bored to death with all those one word/one line responses and adding nothing to carry the conversation...to each his own I guess.

[dizzyupthemeg]

Are you sure you are 22? I think most people I know at the age of 22 wouldn't respond to the concept of marrying someone of the same sex with an "EEeew gross."

I'm willing to bet he hasn't thought twice about this conversation.

[whatruckus]

Just because he said he thought you wanted to marry him, doesn't mean he's thinking about marrying you. It could be just something that he knows you think about. In my opinion, I think you over think everything this guy says wayyy too much. You constantly complain about him, and we've all told you that this guy is more than likely just messing with you. Plus, haven't you only been dating for a couple months? Definitely way too early to be talking about marriage, especially with everything that you've told us about him and your relationship with him. His responses, judging from your other posts, to your questions honestly seem like he kind of just doesn't care and is just giving you half-assed answers that keep you wondering and guessing because he likes you hanging on his every word. Either that, or he's just not serious at all about anything he says. Saying things like, "I guess" or "Maybe" or "I suppose", as well as the short responses, really gives off that impression to me. Like he's just "eh" about everything. I guess in a sense, it works in his favor, because it keeps you coming back and hoping for more.

Take it from someone who's had experience with this, I highly doubt he's serious about this relationship and you and the things he says. You also tend to make lots of excuses for him and try to rationalize his behavior, when it's pretty straightforward that he's just "meh" about the relationship and you. Like he's only saying things just to keep you around.

I've said it before on your other posts, and I'll say it again, I really don't think this guy cares about you as much as you care about him.

[TooFarAway]

He's thinking that ...you think too much!

If this is a typical convo then hmm...I'd be bored to death with all those one word/one line responses and adding nothing to carry the conversation...to each his own I guess.

LMAO I had the same thought as I was reading the whole thing xD

[Ejoriah]

Oh and this. He said earlier this morning "You're killing me with the semantics" What does that even mean?
Thanks for reading till the end

It means that you keep asking for meaning (which is literally what semantics means) and he probably just wants to have a conversation where you're not trying to assign a deeper/hidden meaning to everything he says.

[p_b82]

Agree with the above - look up the definition of semantics; the way a phrase is written can vary the meaning (semantics) hugely.... very simple one is the three word phrase "eats shoots leaves" pending on where the commas are and the context of the sentence will alter the meaning of the three words hugely.

Anyhoo - if that is your average conversations they are pretty 'shallow' reading, they are the sort I get with my GF when she is upset and doesn't feel like talking to me or any-one, but who am I to judge....

I'll be honest reading that conversation through again, makes me see just how large the maturity gap is between you, he appears to be answering your comments with a slightly condescending tone; not being rude about it but, just a *sigh* you are young and naive kinda way.....

[Nymeria]

I have to say, when I read this I also get the feeling as if you try to keep the conversation going at any price, but he seems ready to either stop or change subjects to something less personal.
If I start to get oneworders as an answer, we usually stop our conversations for a while. We do talk every day as well, but sometimes it's no more than a brief "How was your day" or "goodnight" - conversation.

As I understand his "we do talk alot" and everything after that, the way I'd read that if it was my conversation I would take it as "he's not in the mood to talk today/right now".
Conversations don't have to be all day and every day, they don't always have to be deep (semantics). Sometimes a good morning and goodnight message is enough. Also I have made the experience that young people are loads more into constant messaging. What I mean is that I know loads of people in their 30ies/40ies that don't spill long stories via text. But that's my experience

Even if you'd live with your SO, sometimes conversations are Brief and short and not so deep.

[lucybelle]

And this is when the age gap is so obvious. That conversation was silly and you posting about it even more so.

[Ahava]

Do you guys have fun and laugh when you talk? Do you Skype?
Or is your whole relationship based on IM?
Does he ever initiate? Ask how you've been? What your plans are for the weekend?
Aks you follow up questions to things you've told him?

If a guy is into you he is interested about you and your life and it shows.
In small things like "I watched a movie last night which I thought you would enjoy...it's called...".
When you complain about a problem you have he will try and make suggestions how to solve it.
If you had an exam he would ask you how it went.
He will Skype/call you as soon as he has time to talk to you. He will want to hear your thoughts, your voice.
He will want to make you laugh and make you happy.

[Schlafmütze]

And this is when the age gap is so obvious. That conversation was silly and you posting about it even more so.

I agree with Lucybelle. And sending him screenshots of the comments people make on the threads you post here is even sillier and quite embarrassing to say the least.

[Petals]

Anyhoo - if that is your average conversations they are pretty 'shallow' reading, they are the sort I get with my GF when she is upset and doesn't feel like talking to me or any-one, but who am I to judge....

I'll be honest reading that conversation through again, makes me see just how large the maturity gap is between you, he appears to be answering your comments with a slightly condescending tone; not being rude about it but, just a *sigh* you are young and naive kinda way.....

I agree with this 100%. You do not seem to be mature for your age which lead to the questions - why are you you dating someone so much older? why is he even pretending to be in a relationship with you? These are honest questions from an outsider based on info you have posted. Sorry I couldn't be more positive.

[snow]

I show my man comments on threads sometimes, because I think they might be interesting to him or sometimes it's about something we had a conversation about and it shows a new point of view.

From his responses, I wouldn't say he is not interested, I would say he seems tired of all the questions. We here, as a community, are planting seeds into her head how her boyfriend has to be, because to us he seems not interested, too old or simply not serious, so she tries to see if he is this certain way. Asking him all those questions that they have already talked about proves it. She is unsure if he is the right one, because he is not the way we tell her he has to be.

I have had days with my man where our conversations were about the same. I get excited easily and then I ask a million questions and he is more mellow, so to not ignore me and make sure that I get the attention I am obviously seeking, he will give short one liners and honestly, there is nothing wrong with this.

[JC2122]

I show my man comments on threads sometimes, because I think they might be interesting to him or sometimes it's about something we had a conversation about and it shows a new point of view.

From his responses, I wouldn't say he is not interested, I would say he seems tired of all the questions. We here, as a community, are planting seeds into her head how her boyfriend has to be, because to us he seems not interested, too old or simply not serious, so she tries to see if he is this certain way. Asking him all those questions that they have already talked about proves it. She is unsure if he is the right one, because he is not the way we tell her he has to be.

I have had days with my man where our conversations were about the same. I get excited easily and then I ask a million questions and he is more mellow, so to not ignore me and make sure that I get the attention I am obviously seeking, he will give short one liners and honestly, there is nothing wrong with this.

Thank you very much

[differentcountries]

I don't neccesarily agree that he seems uninterested. Seems like a normal guy to me. You won't find my guy give big elaborations about emotional questions.

BTW: He is not asking you to marry him just because he said something loosely about marriage. He is just tossing something on the table to see how the both of you feel about it.