Being on "Break" with your SO

[Sweptaway]

So... I'm on a break with my SO.
Due to him being busy with college and work, I just thought a break would be nice. He started his winterbreak, so he'll be traveling. We're still talking, but it's a bit awkward. Does anyone know if a short break is good/bad for a LDR?? I honestly don't want us to end.

Also, I've written him the first letter I've ever written for him last week, and I received my stamps today. Should I send him the letter, to let him know how I feel/how I still feel??

[whatruckus]

To be honest, I'm not sure. I was constantly on "breaks" with my ex, they never really worked. My SO and I went on one a couple months back because we were going through a rough patch, it lasted like a week. It was too hard.

For some, breaks work, for others...it doesn't. Did you guys set boundaries? Will you see other people? How long do you intend on the break lasting? Do you still tell each other you love each other?

Edit: You guys have only been dating for less than 2 months, why are you already on a break? Seems a bit odd and unnecessary to me.

[Sweptaway]

The thing is, we started last night. He told me its my choice to keep talking or not, and I told him I'm fine with it.
I personally don't know how long its going to last, but hopefully not long. And we've only been together for almost 3months now, he only said he loved me 3 times already, but he's not much of a detailing person.
We haven't discussed about seeing other people and boundaries were not set. Was this a mistake?? Should I send my letter to him(that explains how much I care for him) or should I just leave this alone and let him be??

[whatruckus]

Why are you really on a break? Like I said before, seems kind of unnecessary if it's because he's busy. You should be working through problems, and in that honeymoon phase, not already having problems and on a break. I don't really know what problems there could be so early on that would cause you guys to take a break.

Before taking a break, boundaries should always be discussed and the topic of if seeing people during the break is okay or not, and setting up a date down the road to re-evaluate the relationship. I didn't do this with my ex and he saw so many girls and lied to me about it. With my SO, we set boundaries.

Edit: Re-read your other post. I'm not quite sure what he means by "chaining" yourself to him? Seems like he'd rather have an open relationship, or a friendship, than a committed relationship. Even with the 3 hour time difference (which isn't that much compared to other couples on here), as well as him being so "busy" with schoolwork, he could still make time for you. If he wants this relationship to work, he needs to put the effort in. He says he loves you, but he's not really showing it by lack of effort with the communication and how passive he's being with the relationship, plus being okay with taking a break. Who initiated the break? You or him?

[Sweptaway]

The full reason why we're on it is because I'm tired of stressing over him when he possibly might not be over me... When I told him that I either wanted to end the relationship or have a break(It was quite the long message) he only says "I understand. I can do either or, it would be your choice." I told him I wanted this to be [I]our[I] choice, not just mine. And that I honestly want a break. His answer: "Then we shall take a break."

The thing is, I've told him if there's anything bothering him that involves me, he should tell me because I accept anything/everything and I won't be offended. But he never says a thing on what bothers him, it honestly always me who's telling him how I feel about not getting the attention I deserve. It's like he can't spare 10seconds out of his "Busy" schedule to message me a "Hello, just thinking about you." and he always messages me at my 1:30 or 3am... He said lastnight "I never want to message in fear i'd wake you up x3" and I said to message me at times you think are right and he said he has been... but it's totally inconvenient to me, due to the fact I'm either asleep or working(school)... I try to puzzle things together, but I feel like I'm just wanting to be blind to this because I really like him and I want us to work out.

[whatruckus]

The full reason why we're on it is because I'm tired of stressing over him when he possibly might not be over me... When I told him that I either wanted to end the relationship or have a break(It was quite the long message) he only says "I understand. I can do either or, it would be your choice." I told him I wanted this to be [I]our[I] choice, not just mine. And that I honestly want a break. His answer: "Then we shall take a break."

The thing is, I've told him if there's anything bothering him that involves me, he should tell me because I accept anything/everything and I won't be offended. But he never says a thing on what bothers him, it honestly always me who's telling him how I feel about not getting the attention I deserve. It's like he can't spare 10seconds out of his "Busy" schedule to message me a "Hello, just thinking about you." and he always messages me at my 1:30 or 3am... He said lastnight "I never want to message in fear i'd wake you up x3" and I said to message me at times you think are right and he said he has been... but it's totally inconvenient to me, due to the fact I'm either asleep or working(school)... I try to puzzle things together, but I feel like I'm just wanting to be blind to this because I really like him and I want us to work out.

Well, after reading this, it seems like he wants a relationship without putting the work in. Plus, he didn't seem to care if you broke up or not. What? Really? When my SO and I were deciding if we should break up or be on a break, he flat out told me he didn't want us to break up for real. So, that to me meant he wanted a break. I didn't want us to break up either. I just really get the feeling that he doesn't care and he makes up excuses not to contact you and maybe just messages you when he's pretty sure you're busy or asleep so it seems like he's trying. Like he's just doing the bare minimum. It's really up to you to decide if this is something worth being on a break for, and worth trying. It's been less than 3 months and you guys are already on the verge of breaking up.

Edit: Also, when we were talking about what to do, we talked for hours about it. Messaging back and forth, trying to figure out what to do, what was going on, and what needed to be done. We went on a break because my SO was so stressed out from work. And, he didn't know what was going on with him.

[Sweptaway]

So, more than likely he wants to break up, but doesn't want to be the one to say it?? Is that what you mean...?? If that's it, then that moment(from my last forum post) of me sitting around looking dumb and one-sided is true.
I talked to him occasionally about his efforts, but yet he never goes into much detail. This honestly hurts, because I tried so hard and for nothing. I'm quite envious of you and your SO, at least y'all held a discussion before deciding. I was honestly wanting a discussion, or him simply fighting it, but I got neither of that... I was told by my best friend that my SO has to many red flags and I should abort immediately, but I hate always being the one ending my relationships so soon(all of them end soon) it really sucks.

Again, I'm quite envious, at least he cared enough to discuss it with you for hours. I guess I shouldn't put so much hope and effort into someone.

[whatruckus]

So, more than likely he wants to break up, but doesn't want to be the one to say it?? Is that what you mean...?? If that's it, then that moment(from my last forum post) of me sitting around looking dumb and one-sided is true.
I talked to him occasionally about his efforts, but yet he never goes into much detail. This honestly hurts, because I tried so hard and for nothing. I'm quite envious of you and your SO, at least y'all held a discussion before deciding. I was honestly wanting a discussion, or him simply fighting it, but I got neither of that... I was told by my best friend that my SO has to many red flags and I should abort immediately, but I hate always being the one ending my relationships so soon(all of them end soon) it really sucks.

Again, I'm quite envious, at least he cared enough to discuss it with you for hours. I guess I shouldn't put so much hope and effort into someone.

I wouldn't give up hope on everyone. I just think this particular guy isn't in it. Work on yourself for now and concentrate on school. Not every guy is like this. Don't be envious of my SO and I, we've had our share of problems. Everyone's relationship is different. Maybe this guy isn't mature enough to be in an LDR.

[Miasmata]

Putting a lot of hope and effort into someone is what a relationship is all about! But it should never make you forget to put the same hope and effort into yourself, too. And finding the person worthy of your emotions and investment is never simple, but very much possible.

[Sweptaway]

Putting a lot of hope and effort into someone is what a relationship is all about! But it should never make you forget to put the same hope and effort into yourself, too. And finding the person worthy of your emotions and investment is never simple, but very much possible.

Thank you for saying such encouraging words. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks y'all for the help, I really appreciate it. I know what to do now and my choice is to just leave him be. I don't deserve someone who doesn't want a commitment, I need someone who'll be there for me no matter the distance/time. Thanks again!