How often do you fight?

[Gingerlyme]

Never had a big fight (yelling etc) yet but yea like everyone else, disagreements (mostly misunderstandings) every other month maybe but always resolved the same day. I tend to want to just end the conversation and go to bed while he makes sure we don't go to bed angry which actually works a whole lot better.

i realize that most arguments/disagreements is due to misunderstanding and/or bottled up feelings that unleashes on a specific topic that brings up everything else

[80anthea]

I am actually glad we sometimes are not that aligned. It shakes things up. It makes things less dull and we are brought closer through it.

I think there's a difference between not agreeing with everything and fighting. My SO and I sometimes disagree on a topic and we both like debating but it's never nasty and never involves yelling. I agree life would be dull if everyone agreed on everything but there are more mature and healthy ways of disagreeing than fighting.

[differentcountries]

I think there's a difference between not agreeing with everything and fighting. My SO and I sometimes disagree on a topic and we both like debating but it's never nasty and never involves yelling. I agree life would be dull if everyone agreed on everything but there are more mature and healthy ways of disagreeing than fighting.

Oh, but it is not really a "topic" in that sense. I feel it is more like through fighting (or me crying, which is more accurate) that we find out what the problem is in the first place. Any actual topic we usually talk through.

[itsjen516]

Never actually. We have a disagreement but that's pretty much it. Never full on screaming

[Lostviolinist]

We haven't fought like that, and I don't believe that we ever will. We always talk through our disagreements.

[barb757]

none really. i get mad and he talks me down

[abna1]

We have little arguments here and there, but we've never had a fight like that before. Both of us aren't very loud people, so we don't yell at each other and we don't call each other names. We disagree sometimes, but we make sure not to talk to each other like that. It takes a lot of the frustration away.

[vicks5721]

We have never had a real fight at all and I agree I know we never will, we have disagreements rarely and sometimes misunderstandings, but that is just to do with culture differences, upbringing that kind of thing or simply having a different view on something. But in general we only have a disagreement when one of us is highly stressed about life or sad or frustrated, I am the emotional one at times. We always talk through everything we feel and we forgive each other straight away, then we are back to normal again like nothing happened. I believe talking through things is a healthy relationship, fights are never a good thing, talking calmly about feelings etc is the right thing to do. Also I love that we tell each other everything and anything and are open with one another, and we are both relaxed understanding people.

[emsimes]

It's rare, but it has happened a few times throughout our relationship. I have a very long fuse when it comes to anger, and my SO and I hardly fight to begin with. But the few times it has happened, it took us a few hours to get back to normal.

[farandaway]

We don't yell and scream but we disagree or misunderstand. We've always been good at talking but now recently we are kind of stuck with the issue that he has too much stress in his life and too much sorrow and instead of sharing it with me I feel that he turns away. I take it personally and get really insecure about us and the worst thing is it builds up and I can't be normal until we've talked through it. Often I feel that everything I say leads to misunderstandings. Then I worry about us and he can't stand that I need reassuring again and again. I should believe it when he says he loves me and wants to have a life with me. If he can't talk with me for some days he still loves me the same but I start my own mind games and seem to forget about that. I get hurt and he doesn't understand that. It's a vicious circle and now I'm determined that when I go see him for Christmas we do something about it. We have the challenge that on top of LDR we are still involved in our old relationships, and him more than me. It makes it so much harder. I'm actually proud of us that we are still here after almost 3 years and haven't given up. It's a chronic situation more than a heated up fight. Just the circumstances often bring out the disagreements we have and even when it's mellow it's bubbling. The only solution I see is that I take a more positive attitude and learn to deal with it. This is quietly eating me up otherwise. The way he argues is letting me do that talking... that can be so frustrating. I'm looking forward to the new year and taking up a more positive attitude. I'm thankful for finding the love of my life. If it means we need to get through this hard batch then be it.

[hunnybunny8381]

For us it varies. He's a heavy smoker. A pack doesn't last him long enough, so if we do fight, it's because he doesn't have enough money to buy another one, it starts getting to him, and yeah. But if it starts getting real bad, we stop talking until he cools off, so we don't say something we may regret later.

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

I have serve anxiety and T knows that. I actually just wrote about this the other day. But we fight, like big fight, once every few weeks I'd say. But it's because of my PTSD, and we are ok within a day.

[snow]

none really. i get mad and he talks me down

That sounds awful.. he talks you down?

[Honour]

I get frustrated overly easy and have severe mood swings which cannot be helped, on the other hand my SO is quite calm and collected. He rarely gets angry. I tend to distance myself and go quiet when I'm overly moody, and my SO deals with it quite well. He's known me long enough by now, lol. On the subject of fights, we've never actually had one, nor are we the sort to have raging arguments. We have the occasional disagreement over stuff, but we can divert those differences.

[80anthea]

I hate to put my "work head" on, but for all those of you who suffer from things like frustration, mood swings, short fuses, anger issues, temper problems etc there are things that can be done to help.