Confused, scared, worried. . .

[hunnybunny8381]

I don't know what to do or think.

Can a LDR work if only limited to three days a year? Really scared that it won't work. LDR just started yesterday (can't link my story yet, so if confuse, just ask or try to find it in the LDR Stories section, easy to find as I just wrote it) and I'm already realizing that this might not work. We text all the time, but because of my health, money situation, and location, it's hard to be together more often. My mom isn't much of a fan of his. She doesn't really hate him. He smokes (cigarettes) a lot and doesn't like that. So far if everything goes well, he wants to meet on my birthday (in June) and go somewhere else. Like I mean not here and not where he lives. Kinda half way type thing.

[80anthea]

Why would it be limited to 3 days a year?

[hunnybunny8381]

I can't work, and I'm on disability. I don't get much money so I wouldn't be able to go see him often. I would have to save $500+ and that's pretty much a full check I get. He lives with his sister right now and doesn't have a job yet.

[R&R]

How old are you? I'm just curious because you are only 114 miles apart and I can put that on my car in one day just running errands.

Your LDR just started yesterday and you are putting quite a strain on yourself already. Why only 3 days and so much over thinking?

[hunnybunny8381]

31. I don't know how many miles between us, so I just put numbers. Don't know how to find out actually.

I overthink things because of my past LDRs I been in, I'm paranoid something will happen.

[80anthea]

Presumably he's looking for a job? He won't stay jobless all year, so there's a great chance you won't be in this situation in a few months time.

[R&R]

A quick Google map search shows you approximately 6 hours apart, so seeing each other less frequently makes more sense now.

Lots of us in LDR's see each other infrequently. Those who are in different countries have my utmost respect because that makes it even more complicated for traveling - passports, travel expenses, possible Visa's later, etc. Certainly don't feel alone in not being able to see each other often.

However, you can't base a new relationship on past relationships. Bringing that kind of baggage in is just setting yourself up to fail. Breathe. This is brand new. Right now, just take it one day at a time and start to get to know each other. Don't start pressuring yourself and worrying about things that you really don't need to be stressing out about yet.

[dizzyupthemeg]

You said in your story that you guys are only 4 hours apart. Why do you need $500 for a visit?

[hunnybunny8381]

He has been looking for a job, but it's hard for him to keep one due to his stress and depression and anxiety. Just hope he can keep a job now, if he finds one.

[hunnybunny8381]

Because I would want to stay in a hotel, I'd need spending money, and bus ticket to get there. Hotel there for three days it's like $300+. Bus ticket is $70. And spending money, not sure how much I'd wanna save.

Is there a way to find out how many miles there is between us? I wanna change the numbers I have on my profile.

[R&R]

Is there a way to find out how many miles there is between us? I wanna change the numbers I have on my profile.

297 miles

[80anthea]

How about meeting somewhere in the middle?

[hunnybunny8381]

297 miles

Thanks.

[hunnybunny8381]

That's what we are planning on doing, for my birthday in June, but it'll only be for three days. That's all we can both afford.

[Miasmata]

Definitely make sure you shop around when it comes to stuff like travel fare and hotels. Special deals as well as settling for less fancy accomodation can really make the prices drop. Keep your eyes open! Meeting halfway is also a good idea.

And of course a relationship can work if you see each other rarely. It will however require effort, communication and honesty from the both of you, like any LDR does. Whether you two are up for that or not is something only you two can decide, but it's absolutely possible. I can understand you are disheartened, but have more faith in yourself - If you both want to give it a shot, it's absolutely worth it! Your relationship doesn't need to be legitimized by visits.