SO has just moved 3800 miles away - Initial LDR tips please!

[Stodds]

I'll try and keep it short!!

I've been with my SO for two years - we lived 80 miles apart for 18 months, then he moved to my town and got a job 6 months ago - and I had finally felt like we had closed the distance and were moving forwards.

6 weeks ago he was offered his dream job in the Middle East, and 2 days ago I dropped him off at the airport for his one way trip.

I'm now in an emotional situation where I'm torn. From the selfish perspective I feel resentful of him for messing up my plans of moving in together and moving forwards as a couple after enduring months of 2 hour coach rides to see him and sucking up all my weekends - however as someone who loves him I'm also really excited at this new opportunity for him. He's put up with a LOT of emotional rollercoaster rides from me over the last six weeks as I've come to terms with all of it (the poor man!).

It's a 2 year contract so I need to get over the resent and accept the reality of the distance, time difference and long gaps without seeing one another now (I used to think 2 weeks was a long time - now it's going to be 2-3 months at a time) - but I could do with some initial tips from others who have been in a similar relationship - where they started off with their SO near before they moved away.

Key initial dos and donts please!!

I've had a quick scan through the forum and couldn't see anything directly relevant but I'll keep looking - I'm happy that I've found a place like this where people share their experiences. Comforting!!

[R&R]

Welcome! You'll find a lot of great people and ideas here.

It's nice to know that you already have an end where you know it will be over. Getting to see each other every few months is an added bonus. 2 years seems like a long time now, but it will go by faster than you think. One key thing is not to dwell on how miserable or lonely it will be without him around. You have to stay positive for you, him and the relationship. Plan special things for when he's home on visits.

Take some of this time to focus on some things that maybe you wanted to do but couldn't with all the weekend trips you were making. Start a hobby. Take a class. Read those books that you set aside or watch the movies you missed.

Though it sounds like it shouldn't need to be said - make sure to keep up the communication. Skyping, emails, etc. I'm sure there will be plenty of new things to talk about with his new job and location.

[differentcountries]

Order tickets for visits, make countdowns. Do the long term things like make him a book. Really, anything crafty will do.

[Nolybi]

Do keep the communication up, skype, viber anything really, nowadays its not difficult to find a way, share everyday experiences, as previously mentioned, make countdowns, visits, milestones to stick to

Don't stop being strong, lose the others presence in your life, dont forget that this state is just temporary, get strength from this fact

And if you ever feel down come to this forum!

[Unicorn26]

Although 2 years seems like a long time, it really isn't, it will fly by. You have an end in sight and will be seeing each other every 2-3 months. These are all really positive things!!!

I know you will miss him, it's gonna be difficult and painful at times but there is Skype and free messaging apps. Providing he has good internet access, contact will be easy. Writing to each other is a lovely way to keep in touch too. I love it when I get an unexpected letter or card from my SO and vice versa, it's really special.

Keep yourself busy, spend time with your friends and family, let them support you in this. Focus on Skype dates and phone calls etc. you will be ok, you will get through this.

And we are always here. We all know exactly what you're going through and are here in case you ever need to vent!