How to overcome obstacles

[D4Joseph]

Hey Everyone, it has been awhile since I've posted. I really need help from my fellow ldr peers. PLEASE READ THIS ALL I KNOW IT'S LONG. I'D JUST REALLY LIKE SOME HELP.
So I'm on winter break from school and I'm finally with my gf. We have been having a great time so far in her city. She's been showing me around and things have been fun so far. I'm gonna be here with her for 21 days.
I hate to sound like I'm complaining but there are a few obstacles that bother me. I'm staying here at her place (she lives at home with parents). The sleeping arrangements made by her parents is that her dad sleeps on the couch, I sleep in my gf's room, and my gf sleeps with her mom in the parent's room. I'm so so SO grateful that they're letting me stay here because I wouldn't have extra money for a hotel but I think that's a little unfair. Her parents know distance is between us. Now that were reunited we can't sleep in the same bed. I wouldn't try to pull anything funny and they should trust us. Why would I? We even tried to speak with the dad because he's the more reasonable parent. He won't even budge. We want to try to find a compromise with the mom but my S.O says that'd be harder. I feel this is making the trip a tad less enjoyable.
Another obstacle is that my gf somehow is having a second period in a matter of a few weeks. Never knew it was possible but she's having 2 periods in one month. So far we only got to have sex twice by having to pay for a motel because alone time has been hard to come by. We both want to do it obviously. However the second period is in the way (not to sound insensitive) . We don't want to keep having to spend on motels either. Alone time is essential for us. How should we deal with these obstacles? What should I do to feel less helpless? How do we cope with the parents being so involved? Things weren't like this when she visited me.

[snow_girl]

1. its her parents house, their rules, sorry bro.
2. If you don't want to have to rent a motel there are plenty back roads perfect for parking a car, back alleys and parks to get creative with
3. Are her parents ever not home and you can sneak in a quickie?
4. Periods shouldn't get in the way of sex, just think of her being wet but with a little added food colouring for funsies
5. Her second period probably means she is pregnant, should take a test for that.

[differentcountries]

The parents are ruining their own sex life for 21 days to shaperone you guys ... That is dedication for you.

[D4Joseph]

1. You're right I definitely don't like it but you are.
2. We got the car once but sometimes her parents idk why don't give it to us. But we have been trying to get creative.
3. Her dad works so he's typically gone but her mom recently got laid off and is typically home.
4. She's always saying it's gross and we shouldn't try that.
5. Please tell me you're joking you're scaring me.
And to differentcountries that's a good point but they should help make things a little easier at least. I'm not saying no rules but understand that we'll need alone time

[snow_girl]

The parents are ruining their own sex life for 21 days to shaperone you guys ... That is dedication for you.

Thats silly, married couples don't have sex more than once every few weeks. They probably are enjoying the space away, no snoring, hogging sheets.

[R&R]

I have to agree that it's her parents house and so it's their rules. Maybe not the rules you like but you do have to abide by them. It's not her parents responsibility to give you "alone time" in their house.

As far as her having 2 periods, there can be multiple reasons for that. If it's something happening frequently, if she hasn't been in for her annual physical, then I would suggest it's time for her to get scheduled for one because that can be a signal of something that needs to be checked out.
If you're freaking out that she may be pregnant, well if you're having sex, that can happen. IMHO, if you're not prepared for what can be the result of sex, maybe you shouldn't be having it. If you feel you're adult enough to have sex, that means you need to be adult enough to handle the possible end result.

I understand that the physical aspect of a relationship is important but sex isn't the be all, end all. My SO was going to be coming at an inconvenient time and I was stressed and his response "I don't care if we have sex. We have years ahead of us when we live together where you will be begging me to leave you alone. Right now I just want to spend time with you - that's all." I know this isn't the case for everyone but I did like his perspective.


To snow_girl, I was a little surprised by your comment about her parents. Personally, when I was married sex was not once every few weeks. It was multiple times a week. I have friends my age who have been married over 13 years who are still like damn rabbits. When my SO and I get married, I've already been informed it's once a day minimum LOL. It depends on the couple. So it may actually really be a sacrifice for them to sleep apart for 3 weeks.

[D4Joseph]

I can't say you're wrong. It's not their responsibility tp give us alone time. However, my gf spoke to them in advance about not trying to babysit us and they agreed not to. Now it's not the case. Being in any type of relationship you can understand why I'd want my gf especially now seeing her after awhile. Sex isn't the be all end all but the both of us will want it.

[R&R]

Then as two adults, you find other ways, outside of the house. They may have said they won't babysit but they will make sure that the rules that are set in their house are respected and enforced. If they were going with you everywhere and every time you went out, that would be babysitting.

[snow_girl]

To snow_girl, I was a little surprised by your comment about her parents. .

Clearly you don't know snow_girl

[snow]

I can't say you're wrong. It's not their responsibility tp give us alone time. However, my gf spoke to them in advance about not trying to babysit us and they agreed not to. Now it's not the case. Being in any type of relationship you can understand why I'd want my gf especially now seeing her after awhile. Sex isn't the be all end all but the both of us will want it.

I disagree. It's their house and if they don't want you two to have sex in their house, you should be respecting it. I think they should let you hang out, which they obviously do if you two have had sex during this visit, so I am not sure if there is reason to complain. Unless you wanna pay for a hotel to stay, you will have to abide by the rules and be happy with what you do get to do with your SO.

[R&R]

Clearly you don't know snow_girl

But I'm learning

[Miasmata]

I'm going to have a similiar situation during my visit to my SO - I'm staying at his parents' place and they keep us in seperate rooms too, and didn't budge when my SO asked to make an exception. And you know what? That's fine. No, I'm not superhappy about it, but it's fine. I'm a very sexpositive person and I think the very conservatively religious approach my SO's parents have is sad, but it's their choice and their house, and I'm not going to be a jerk about it. They can't fault me for my choices, and I won't do that to them either. I'll just go for drives sometimes with my SO for, ahem, reasons, and we'll spend the night at a hotel for New Years to be alone. And well, the rest of the time, I'll keep my hands out of his pants, simple as that.

Regarding the period troubles - Only a doctor can give you a good answer there. She should see one ASAP to get peace of mind. Also, I hope you two are using contraception.

[whatruckus]

Well, I agree with everyone else that it's their house, their rules. Don't like it? Don't stay there and find somewhere else to stay. If she's having two periods this month, she should probably get checked, whether for a pregnancy or not. Is this something that's happened before? If she's bleeding again, and she might be pregnant, it means that the egg is implanting. Also, if you're freaked out about the possibility of her being pregnant, then she either needs to get on birth control, you need to wear condoms, or both. Or, just don't have sex.

If it were my daughter, I would say I wouldn't babysit her, but it still doesn't mean I'd want her having sex in my house.

You have to understand that this is their baby girl.

And, of course it wasn't the same when she visited you, everyone's parents are different.

IMO, you shouldn't really be complaining about her parents being around because some of the folks on here aren't even lucky enough to have families who are supportive of their relationships, let alone letting their son's/daughter's SO stay in their house with them.

[D4Joseph]

You guys are all giving me different ways to look at this thank you! And yes I always use condoms and she's been on birth control for a few a weeks. That's why I'm confused and concerned about this. She says it came and went. I understand it is their house. I have to obey. I just wish we could sleep in the same bed that's all.

[differentcountries]

What kind of birth control has she been on for a few weeks? If it is a hormonal one that might alter her period.