...help?

[Gata]

I saw some messages in Twitter of my boyfriend and a stunning girl who lives in his city and it's 19 he is 21... I'm 28

He have been loving and caring with me, but this days I've been really self conscious, I gained weight and sometimes I feel like he is starting to take me for granted...

Now I saw he twitted this girl asking her how was she and he said to her that he was going to spend the day with me at Skype etc... How does she know about me? I never heard about this girl before

He seemed kind of interested to play it cool and talk to her answering her like super fast as soon as she replied him

Now I'm here... Feeling all old, fat, blaming myself for falling in love of someone too young for me (even though he is really wise) who lives so far

I don't feel as special as I felt when we started and I'm angry at myself...

We've talked profoundly and sincerely about our fears and he knows that one of my fears was to fall in love again and being cheated

I've always being the Good girl that isn't hot enough, too good and sweet

I don't know what to do with my feelings, he is young, he deserves a pretty and hot girl like that...

I just want to run away to my life previous to him but he gained me, I was reluctant to fall in love again and he conquered me...

Now?... I'm not the novelty, I'm not the most beautiful human, I'm not the perfection incarnated...just the silly old girl infront of Skype getting fat and fat every day...

I feel so sad and I can't cry, I hate this!!!

[talim]

You need to calm down. There is a reason your boyfriend is in relationship with you and not pursuing some hot young girls. I'm sure he finds you beautiful and amazing. You say you don't feel as special as when you started, and that's completely normal, you just moved into different phase in your relationship.
If this and that young girl really bothers you, you should talk about it with him, but try not to make him feel guilty (for example, don't say anything like "why you pay attention to some young hot girl? I'm not enough for you?" etc.). I'm sure you will be able to sort it out together

[R&R]

Sometimes social media can cause problems that don't even exist. He told her he was Skyping with you and she obviously knew who you were - good sign! He didn't have to explain who you are, so obviously this woman knows who you are and that the two of you are in a relationship.

I don't know who all of my SO's friends are, male or female. He doesn't know all of mine either. His circle of friends is HUGE, so even when we close the distance I will never be able to keep up with all of them. And you know what? That's ok.

It sounds a lot more like you have insecurities and self-esteem issues. I'm glad that you have been able to open with your SO about your fears & self doubts. But don't let these things cause issues that aren't even there. Don't make a problem out of something that only exists in your mind. Your SO loves you for who you are inside and out - we tend to be the ones who are so much harder on ourselves. Have you ever spoken with a professional therapist to help you work through these issues? If you don't deal with them, they will continue to be with you in any relationship you have. It might be something you may want to consider.

[rufuz]

I think you shouldn't think about it too much! I am sure your bf has some female friends over there, too or maybe it's just his cousin or something like this. In my opinion it's a good sign that this girl knows about you... because no matter if she's just a friend or anything else she knows that there's already a girl by his side. But in general I can exactly understand your fears. I'm also suspicious when it comes to comments of other girls on my Bf's instagram or something. I am trying not to think about it too much and to just trust my SO. I think you should try the same. And if the fear just doesn't go away you still have the option to ask your SO about this girl. Not in a blaming way... maybe just that you saw she knows about you and who she is. I am pretty sure there's an easy explanation!

And please never, NEVER say that someone deserves something better than you! You are beautiful exactly the way you are and everybody who says something different just doesn't know better! Age doesn't have anything to do with being hot!

I also know the feeling of not being happy with who you are and everything... but you know what? If you don't love yourself the way you are, how will someone else be able do it? If you're unhappy with your weight, try to change something... I started going to the gym 2 months ago and have already lost like 3 kilos. If this doesn't work for you because you don't have time or in general can't lose weight for any reason try to do other things that make you feel more female and more happy in your skin. Maybe go shopping and buy some new female clothes, maybe something different to what you would normally wear, go to the hairdresser, get your nails done or anything like that. Just try to accept yourself the way you are and the rest will follow. Nobody on this planet is perfect so don't try to be it, just try to be yourself!

[Unicorn26]

First of all, 28 is not old. You are still young and beautiful!!!

I think it's a good thing your guy was talking to this friend of his about you. It means you are on his mind and he's proud enough of you to talk to his friends about you. And I'm sure that's all she is, a friend.

My SO has a lot of female friends, some of them are much prettier than me. It doesn't bother me that he talks to them, I know he loves me and I trust him. However, it did used to bother me, but I took a step back and looked at it from a different point of view. I have male friends, lots of them. I prefer the company of guys to girls. Some of my male friends are better looking/taller/richer than my SO. Does that mean I'm gonna go off with them? No way. I'm not interested. I love him, no one else. Just because your guy talks to female friends, doesn't mean he's going to go off with them and the fact that he talks about you to them speaks volumes.

He fell for you because of who you are, he likes you because you are beautiful to him no matter what. Don't worry if you've gained a bit of weight, you can lose it again but make sure you're doing it for you.

If this is really bothering you then talk to him about it. He will probably surprise you with his response! I'm sure all is ok with him and you, have faith in yourself and your beauty, inside and out. Good luck and smile!!!

[differentcountries]

28 is no age, 7 years no age difference. Like the others said, you create problems out of thin air because you feel vounerable. Friends are friends, it doesn't mean he is or will be interested in her, don't be upset because he is responsive to his friends. If you want to know if he cares about you, look at the big picture. Does he tell friends and family about you? Does he seem proud to be with you?

[0897klpq]

I agree with what everyone else says, he is yours and you are his.

There is a reason he chose you and loves you it's also good he told this girl about you as well.

I understand you being jealous but don't call yourself fat and ugly! Just looking at your profile picture you are beautiful! Doe she give you compliments and make you feel special?

I am sure he talks to a girl here and there as friends, but I am sure you talk talk to a boy here and there as friends too?

Be happy and relax!

[rhabdoviridae]

If you feel threatened by this other girl, ask your boyfriend about her. Hopefully he'll tell you that she's just a friend, they aren't interested in one another, etc. But don't let your worries fester, or it'll end up much worse than if you were to just bring it up now.

[Catinahat89]

As others have said take a deep breath- he loves you and you him.
The fact he's told her he's got plans with you on twitter, which is a public forum from my experience, is positive- you are very present in his life.
Please don't fret- New Year soon, use the 'fresh start' to take a little time for you and try and find that love for yourself again. 28 is still young and I'm sure you are beautiful inside and out
God bless.

[Gata]

Guys I want to thank every single one of you for your words, to be honest I didnīt used to be this insecure when I was single, my LDR made me see my fears, my vulnerable side and several tests to my imagination (which is big).

You were right, since everything started I tend to worry really much because I know that a situation like this is an extra effort and I get scared.

Today he noticed me different for a picture he posted that I sort of didnīt liked it(it was a picture of himself but somewhat personal or not...quiet "his style") and I told him what I felt about it of course never trying to make him take it down because he deserve to be free to do whatever he wants, but he understand what Iīve felt, even I told him that for me that picture made me have the paranoia of him trying to attract someone elseīs attention (a t-shirt less picture which is definitely not his style, he never upload pictures like that, thatīs why I got surprised to see it in an open post), he understood my feelings and took it down and talked to me about it.

I loved the way he respected what I felt and explained to me that it wasnīt his intention to hurt me and how he reflected in why I was surprised about the whole thing and for him what I thought and felt was valid enough, I didnīt faced him about the girl because...pshh! you guys were right! she is a friend, really, she was there even before he meet me, so, if he wanted something with her, why he should bother to spend the day talking with a foreign when he could be with someone else that actually lives in his hometown?.

After talking to him today, I understand he is the sort of person that I can trust in, I love him even more since today...

[Miasmata]

Glad to see he proved to be trustworthy! Being insecure is totally understandable and happens, but don't stress yourself out about it. You can trust your partner just like he can trust you. Find comfort in that, not stress!

[Gata]

You have no Idea of how happy I feel that he is my one.

It was a longing of my heart for such a long time, finding someone able to respect me and what I feel, I love that guy so much!, not only because of that but because of who he is.

I can be paranoid and insecure from time tot time, I know I have a lot of issues in that area and I donīt want that in my relationship, I came here because I knew that I needed to calm down and luckily here is a lot of nice and wise people enough loving to give me an advice or a word when I needed it the most.

Thank you guys!