nothing, is that what I am?

Last night I was trying to talk to my boyfriend about some things. I have really low self esteem, and I brought it up and I need some help about something he said. He told me that if I kept saying all those bad things about myself, then people will tell me nothing, including him. He even said "You're nothing Jb" he kept saying that it was what I wanted him to say, and that a not true. I was just trying to talk....I cried myself to sleep I was so hurt. Any one else can call me nothing and I wouldn't care, but isn't he supposed to be the one, who, no matter what I say or do, within reason, is supposed to love me? Supposed to just bring me up? I'm just...confused, and I'd like some help before I do anything about it

[0897klpq]

It gets annoying after a while if someone is so negative about everything and no matter what you try to tell them to cheer them up they still see everything in black and white.

It shouldn't really matter what people think of you, the most important thing is how you see yourself. I had a friend years ago who I didn't mind talking to, but no matter what you told him he would take what you said but never really think any different about himself, just still saw things negative. I actually stopped talking to him entirely because of it and he did lose a lot of friends for it.

I am sorry you deal with low self esteem, maybe you can try and seek professional help for it? Otherwise, raise up your chin and feel confident about yourself. If you give off a strong vibe people will respect you that way. If you are sad and depressed people will get that kind of impression from you.

Be happy!

[R&R]

Maybe he kept telling you that to try to make you realize how untrue it sounds - some reverse psychology, if you will. In your heart, you must know you're not nothing. Your family, your friends -people who love you know that you are not nothing.

However, it is extremely important to know within yourself how important you are. Inner strength is so vital and you will learn that more and more as you age and mature. Being a teenager is tough. You're starting to deal with becoming an adult and making hard decisions. You are learning more about yourself and relationships. Life is a continual learning process. Don't ever give up on yourself, EVER. You are important - you do matter.

[differentcountries]

I know it is temptating to get a bf /gf to better your self esteem, but that is really hard to do, because people will low self esteem tend to disregard compliments.

Find something you are good at, that can help to raise your self esteem. Work on yourself, alone, in a group or with proffesionals.

Realize that no other person can make you safe, if you feel basically unsafe. Realize that other people want to feel safe too - don't provoke them into answering impossable questions, or you will not like the answers. You are not worthless, but right now you are making both yourself and your boyfriend unhappy because of the ghosts in your head. Take responsability for your issues.

[Miasmata]

You are worth much more than you give yourself credit for, but the only one who can make you see that is yourself. Which things make you happy and make you feel accomplished? If you can't think of any, which could you try? You are worthy of care and affection, especially from yourself, and anything you can do to make yourself see that is worth it too. You are much stronger than you think.

[p_b82]

I suffered really badly with self esteem - I never had a serious girlfriend through school and Uni, and thought it was because of me, I had serious depression and was suicidal for a number of years, as I was just stuck in a mental rut I could not get out of.

Eventually I was able to work my way out of this with some help of friends I had met online (and my own stubborn strength of will), and it eventually taught me my self worth.

You obviously have some, as you got upset by the fact you were told it by your BF, so why do you keep putting yourself down in the first place?

I overheard a friend of mine talking with his long term friends, who I had met for the first time at a festival over the summer, how they could not believe how self assured and self confident I am. It is funny as it is not the feelings I have really of my self, but it is the projection of self that I apparently exude as a result of learning to be comfortable in my own skin.

You don't have to be positive, and love yourself (but if you don't then no-one else will), but you have to accept yourself and your flaws. If you don't like some of them try to make yourself better - I strive every-day to be a better person to myself, to make myself proud of me, and the things I can do... and you know what I am proud of myself, I have become less negative generally, I am more self confident, and I am less selfish... all things that I did not like about myself in the past...

So I say take this 'lesson' from your BF for what it was, a wake up call to start to work on your esteem issues, and take a walk down the road that will leave you as a better, stronger person as a result - I bet that is a road he is more than willing to travel along with you too!