I am the needy person. Advices?

[Livia]

Hi! Its my first post here and we have a cool story. We were together for 3 months and now we are apart for 4 months and we will reunite in 3 months. He is a very cool, open-minded and he has a free soul, since he has always been a traveler. I consider myself pretty cool too , but for the past weeks Ive been freaking out. Feeling needy and super lonely...

In the beginning of the Long Distance thing, he was always available, and willing to talk on skype 2 times a week, which was great, and he was always very sweet. Now we text everyday and there isn`t so much space for calls and skyping...he is avoiding it, saying he is tired, or moody, and that he prefers to speak when we have time and when he is in a good mood. Also, the conversation is more dry...not so sweet like before.

The thing is....I am super needy right now. It is difficult to like someone who is so far and now is becoming more and more unavailable to reach. I feel alone in this, and all the time I try to talk to him about my feelings he doesn`t give it much attention, or just changes the subject. I really trust him, but Im afraid he is losing his feelings for me...and this fear makes me a total annoying person that I hate to be...but I find it difficult to be different since he doesnt help me feel secure. Its all on me. Its complicated. I dont wanna care if he doesnt wanna talk, or if he seems more dry...I wanna learn how to let things go without feeling stomachaches.....

Probably there aren`t any specific advices on what I should do...because feelings are very individual...but it would be nice if you could share what you have done if you had ever been in similar shoes...

Thanks ^^

[Sarah96]

It just sounds like you're out of the honeymoon phase. You're no longer always really excited to be talking to each other and for him it has just become more casual to talk to you. I know when I am moody or tired I don't always feel like talking to my boyfriend, and forced communication isn't good. If he is tired and moody then let him be tired and moody, and when he feels better he can talk to you, everyone has bad days/moments. However, you need to tell him that it's bothering you. Don't let him change the subject. Tell him you feel that you need more communication, and try to understand why he is moody and doesn't want to talk. I used to be insecure about my relationship and it took time for my boyfriend to understand what I needed in order to feel secure, it took time and effort and a lot of talking and explaining to figure out what I needed and what he needed. I wish you two the best and hope you get everything worked out!

[lykim]

It's best to discuss situations like this with your SO, good luck.

[differentcountries]

You don't sound that needy to me. You just want to know what is going on! I don't consider myself needy at all, and I get upset if we don't Skype at least 3 times a week. Like the others said, you are probably getting a slize of what he is like from now on when he is overwealmed: he wants to be alone and deal on his own. Which is ok but he still needs to communicate that. Also, you didn't mention his reason for going away: work? studies? It is important to communicate about his daily life there so you get what that is like.

[Honour]

My SO knows that, as a rule, I get very introverted and private, quiet and moody, when I need some time to myself. We agreed awhile back that if this were to happen, I would remain off Skype. We pretty much Skype and text each other everyday as it is, so a bit of alone time is not always a bad idea. Honestly? You sound like me when I get into worrier mode! Just relax, take a deep breath, is what I tell myself, so I'm going to pass that on to you. He's probably adjusting to the idea that all of a sudden he's going into a LONG distance relationship for awhile, after being CLOSE distance. It takes awhile to accept, but he'll come round.

[Unicorn26]

I don't think you're being needy, you just want to know what's going on. I'm the same with my SO and vice versa. I appreciate everyone needs space from time to time, it's important to communicate that though otherwise the other person is left guessing.