From the looks of it. We're in almost the same situation, just reversed! LOL! He lives in Manchester, and I've been researching all over the UK. I've inquired about short term flats and the process is nowhere near as complicated as I thought! I also agree with someone making a decision to kinda bridge the gap. As I said before, I'd truly just enjoy dating him, or possibly inviting him over for dinner and movie. The simple things that right now we can't do. Thank you for your advice!
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The FIRST thing about moving to UK is immigration. If you come here on a visitor visa you can't live, work, look for work, go to school or get medical assistance. So make sure you get an actual visa that will allow you to do so. You also need to make sure of your time restrictions on whatever visa you get are. It sounds like you work for an American based company so it would probably not be a work visa you would be getting but one based on being self-sufficient. Make sure you have some decent cash saved up also, the pounds to dollars conversion was killer for me and UK is bloody expensive. Here is a link for the UK border control and where you can apply for your visa.
https://www.gov.uk/government/organi...nd-immigration
If you would be willing to do this without him, then go for it. If not, then I personally would not until you two have a solid commitment. Leaving our countries for each other has been rough, but we had been doing the LDR for years before doing this. I also suggest you have a back up plan should you decide you want to return to USA. It sounds very romantic, but the ugly sides turn up their head from time to time. Keep your expectations grounded not just for him and you, but for enjoying being an actual expat.Last edited by Hollandia; January 13, 2015, 10:33 AM."Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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I like the challenge of thinking... "Would I consider the UK without him being a factor" to live permanently, not necessarily. To visit though? ABSOLUTELY. I love it there. Life is an adventure. Yes, I know immigration can be difficult. I actually work for myself and yes my income is self sufficient. I live here in NYC. So expensive is a complete understatement for me. The dollar to pound ratio is a bit killer. Even the dollar to Euro. However, I'm a frugal lady. I know the difference between needs and wants. Thank you so much for that link. I'm gonna study it a few more times!Comment
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it's pretty vague on the site, but a general visit, using only your passport stamp, is for up to 6 months. Don't EVER overstay on your passport time if you don't have an actual visa. They can ban you not only from UK but all of EU for up to ten years and it can follow you when go to apply for future visas as well. They check for stamps in LHR every time I came and I cannot be more apple pie. Also, I have to send my (and his) actual passports to them to get my residence card processed after we get married and so travel during that time except for (death in family/major)emergencies is a no go. It can take up to six months currently to process, so make sure your work and calendar will work around that if you end up in same situation.Originally posted by LolaJ View PostLast edited by Hollandia; January 13, 2015, 10:52 AM."Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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Yes, the site is pretty vague. You answer one or two questions and it's like GO FOR IT! LOL. I'm a day trader. So I have total flexibility with my work schedule. It;s a blessing and a curse so to say. I know it'd only be for 6 months out of the calendar year, which is OK. We've discussed marriage, however, we're not quite there yet. You're so very informative. Thank you SO much. I know this is a difficult task and we've found ourselves in a difficult situation. Kudos to you and your SO for being able to endure multiple years of LDR. I'm barely at one and I'm feeling like it's somewhat torture. LHR customs are soo intimidating at times. It's all good for me though. I've nothing to hide, I've got all my supporting documents and wouldn't even dream of overstaying. No way, I love traveling too much to have any issues with that!Originally posted by Hollandia View PostLast edited by LolaJ; January 13, 2015, 11:08 AM.Comment
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I live about 2 hours from there xD Down the A55 mainroad into North Wales, Isle of Anglesey at your services! My SO is a native of Ringgold, GAOriginally posted by LolaJ View Post
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His sister in-law is from Wales! On my ridiculously long layover in LHR. I met some rather colorful gentlemen from Wales. I love meeting new people!!!!Originally posted by Honour View PostI live about 2 hours from there xD Down the A55 mainroad into North Wales, Isle of Anglesey at your services! My SO is a native of Ringgold, GA
I've never been to Ringgold, GA. I've been to Atlanta (Of course), Savannah and Augusta! GA is beautiful! As you can see, I'm from NY. A Manhattan girl, through and through!Comment
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Small world. To save me from spamming your thread, I think I'll add you instead, lol.Originally posted by LolaJ View PostComment
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I really like how that sounds. You all have been such a breath of fresh air. It's so hard not having anyone understand the complexities that accompany a LDR!Comment
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I only know about it because we are relocating to Belfast together. I am USA citizens and he is Dutch, we could not close the distance in USA or NL because of his needing a certain contract in NL he could not find and because of my USA business having financial difficulties, so we scoured the web and found out if he got a job in a EU country that was not his member state (like UK), EU laws apply and they supercede his member states(NL) requirements. The same is true for your SO, if he ever wanted to relocate to Netherlands ( or most other EU countries), in fact if he exercises his rights for a year and then moves back, he is still only bound by EU laws for his family member, meaning spouse or registered partner as well.Originally posted by LolaJ View Post
If you make a lot of money, really I doubt you will have any problems besides doing the paperwork and jumping the hoops. You might even wish to consult an immigration attorney to handle it for you. If you get a visa, I think you can stay for up two 2 years. Countries love people will lots of money, so it is great you have that going for you. If you are only coming for six month stay, make sure you leave a bumper of time in case of any delays, get out a few days before you have to. Remember if you only come on your passport stamp and don't get that visa, you can only be a visitor here, and you will find that landlords and utilities and banks will all treat you differently. I would advise if you are coming here to "live", whether temporary or not, you get a visa. Even as a EU citizen with a full time job here it was difficult. He could not even get a bank account here till he had an address with a utility bill mailed to it (email print off not acceptable)and that took 2 months to do. The landlord required a double deposit because he had no previous ties to the UK. I am not allowed on the rental contract because I am here on my USA passport stamp only until I leave in a few weeks and get married. It's not easy when you are only a visitor so I am looking forward to having that brand off myself after I come back.
A couple more quick notes. You will need to obtain your own private health insurance and if you wish to own a TV, you have to pay a license for one here and it is not a part of your cable bill. That one shocked me. https://www.tvlicensing.co.uk/ I am not sure about England but here in Northern Ireland (Belfast) your water is paid by government as is trash ( you get one bin per house of less than 6 and they pick up every two weeks) and recycling(picks up glass, cardboard and plastic bottles weekly). Also most times, double check with realtor, your rates ( taxes) are paid by landlord. Be ready to sign a 6 month lease even if you can't stay the whole time, shorter terms (1-5 months)cost more and tend not to be as nice or offer as much selection.
I did the 90 days in and 90 days out for over two years. Yeah, it sucked, but it needed to be done. I always had at least 2 day bumpers on both sides to prevent any accidental overstays. I don't regret but it was very draining and not as fun as some of my family and friends thought it was. We both miss our countries but we make the adjustments and we are together. Someday we might move again to another country but never apart, and that is why I am moving here. I always said, I would never leave my country for a BF but it is a no brainer that I would for my husband. If your main reason for doing this is for your adventure then have a blast! With money in your pocket UK is amazing! I would not sever all ties to USA, get the premium Skype package for unlimited calls on any phone in USA from your Skype for 6.99 a month, and keep in touch with your loved ones in USA.Last edited by Hollandia; January 13, 2015, 01:46 PM."Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
Benjamin Franklin
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I honestly don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for me. Your advice, and sharing your very detailed and trying experiences. I knew this would be difficult. I hadn't anticipated all of what you just said. I'm just feeling all sorts of emotions right now. I was unaware of your 90 day stay each visit. Maybe staying for weeks at a time versus relocating permanently would suffice. I just feel perplexed. I'm completely unsure how we build or continue to grow if we don't have a lot of time together. Sure, FaceTime, KIK, WhatsApp help us communicate and build a strong foundation. We both agree that we need more time together. I do see now, that staying for 6 months or obtaining a visa when we aren't sure if marriage is an option. Albeit, if we had more time, that it could. We both agreed on that. Nobody has time to waste. I'm going to consider all my options and now that I feel a bit relieved that I'm not insane, I want to converse with him in regards to this a bit more and see what he's feeling.
Anyway, GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!! Blessings be and I am so glad that you two are able to be together and start a life. Congratulations, and I wish you all the very best. Thank you for giving a hopeless romantic such as myself hope!Comment
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