Partners friend doesnt acknowledge "our time"

[Pipercub]

This is one thing that drives me bat crazy. My fiancé has a friend who I would like to say doesn't realize and is uneducated about long distance relationships. But she does and choses to not acknowledge when we have our own time together. She says well that's not really spending time together, just face timing or skyping. In my opinion she is a sucky friend to my fiancé. Only comes and hangs out when her man is to busy and can't do anything. And just so happens to be all the time when we try to have our date nights. My fiancé tells her "well we already have plans to spend time together so I can't sorry" and she goes about saying it doesn't count. It gets under my skin so much! I try to push it off and leave it. And my fiancé says she will talk to her about it. But I don't think she ever does. And of course I cant say anything because then the girl will start a fight with my girl so now this is my last result. Going to a forum and venting and maybe find some others with similar problem. My silver lining I keep in mind is she will be moving in with me and it won't matter after that. But that won't be until June.

[whatruckus]

Try not to worry about it too much. It seems that she's probably just jealous. Is this friend of hers also engaged, getting ready to move in with her bf? Judging from her actions, I'd say probably not. Instead of being happy and supportive, she seems to be dismissing you guys and frankly, that's just rude. A friend is supposed to be supportive and respectful, even if she doesn't agree with your guys' relationship, she should at least be respectful. It is pretty annoying, but as you said, it's best not to say anything to this girl so you don't start drama between her and your fiancée.

My boyfriend's best friend is a girl and I don't feel she really acknowledges me either. We've been together for 2 years, and I have yet to meet her. She calls me "the girlfriend" and that's it. So, I kind of know how you feel.

[ronjaandbirk]

tbh I think this is something your fiance has to take care of, not you. She has to set boundaries, and not take interruptions from her friend. She has to sit down with her and tell her how she feels about you and that this is the only way of cummunication you have right now and explain the situation to her. if her freinds comes over despite being told that you guys will take private time after that, she has to simply throw her out.

I understand she doesnt want to fight with her friend, but she should stand up against people that are making it hard for both of you. even if they are her friends.

You also have to talk to your girl and tell her how much this affects this, if she doesnt take care of it.

[differentcountries]

I agree, this is your girlfriend 's problem. She has to set sound boundries in her relationship. Perhaps too they can arrange to have their own friend time.

[R&R]

From what you wrote, it appears it's just her friends attitude that is bothering you. You don't state if your gf gives up the time with you or not.

I would say, if her friend doesn't see the way you spend time together as "real". well that's just her problem and you can just let her going on being ignorant. If your gf is actually giving up spending time with you to spend it with her friend, then, to me, that's the point when it truly becomes an issue and something that would really need to be dealt with.

[Pipercub]

The girl continues on stating her unwanted opinion about our relationship and then she just stops messaging her or hangs up. So never have had to dealt with her giving up our time.

[differentcountries]

Still, she is forcing her way into your relationship, and also destroying the friendship. You must take action here - you risk loosing your fiance, or you risk your fiance loosing your friend and partly blaming you for it. I suggest you take some action to include the girl, like invite her in on your Skype sessions sometimes so you can "meet" her yourself and get to know her. You have to show your partner and the friend that you are not the problem here. Remember, she will be there when you move to her, so this will not be over by itself when you move.

[Honour]

I think DC has a point here. Don't let this miserable, jealous woman ruin things so much for you that your relationship suffers for it! Talk to your fiancé about it, and see what she can do about it. Communication is the key to solving such an issue, and hopefully, once she sees you are real, maybe it will cause her attitude to change somewhat.

[Pipercub]

I've met the friend several times. She makes everything about her self. There are times i include her. And then times I just want alone withmy fiancé. Friends are great and all but alone time is needed too. I've expressed this many times to my fiancé

[Hollandia]

I agree with all that say your SO has to handle this. You told her your thoughts on the matter and she needs to deal with it. This being said if her friend is saying anything disrespectful to you or about you to your SO, that would be dealt with. You are her person and your SO is marrying you and leaving with you, her friend resents it and needs to get over it. It is your SO's life and she made her choices, if this person is truly her friend she will want your SO to be happy and she loves you and you make her happy.

I have to wonder if she does not really want more than friendship with your SO. She is certainly showing signs of it.

[sweetshay]

For a lot of people who are inexperienced to the idea of long distance relationships it can be hard to understand how crucial Skype and face time are. In that sense, her friend is just ignorant and needs to be educated on how we get down. Is it possible that your fiancé has actually tried to talk to this girl about it and failed because the friend is just stuck in her opinions? I have friends who say "oh how can you really like someone you've never physically met.." yadda yadda, and there's really not much I can do to change that opinion. If it's really bothering you that much, I would ask your fiancé to set boundaries with her friend. Sometimes people just really don't know how to be alone and by themselves, so she must be looking to your fiancé for company, but whether she understands the idea of you two spending time together, she needs to respect you and your fiancés wishes. If the friend can't learn to respect your relationship without a fight then she's not a friend and your fiancé should really rethink having her around. She just sounds annoying. No third party should be putting stress on YOUR relationship.

[Dwessie]

I hope this friend realizes that she's literally pushing her best friend away. My sister's best friend flat out said she didn't like my sister's fiance, and when my sister went back down to where we used to live for a convention they all wouldn't let her talk to them.

Now none of them even know she's having a baby, and they still think they're her best friends.