So, this is what happened. I’ll try to make the story as short as possible, but there are a lot of details. I was on vacation in Los Angeles in October 2013 and I met a guy. Well, we met online on a dating site before that, but I thought we would just hang out as friends. It wasn’t supposed to be anything romantic. Well, from the moment we met, it was clear that it was more. There was an instant “Oh my God, I am screwed” moment for me. Took him a few days longer, but it was really quick and intense. I saw him in October 2013, December 2013, and February 2014 and then I moved to LA in April 2014. Really quick. I was there through July and then decided to come back home. It wasn’t that we didn’t love each other. We just moved too quickly and that was taking a toll on the relationship. So I saw him again in October and then again last week.
Our relationship was intense. It was the kind of love that you dream of having. I’ve NEVER had that kind of connection with someone before. He told me all the time that he’d never loved anyone as much as he loved me and said several times “I think I’d die without you”. He also told me that he had trouble being vulnerable in relationships. I kept worrying that he’d get scared of how he was feeling and push me away.
We are both intense, emotional people. We bickered back and forth a LOT. Nothing that was ever like earth shattering, but we just bickered. We had very few actual incidents that I’d call an actual fight. But a lot of the emotional burdens of the relationship fell on me because he has a lot of other stuff going on in his life. But that was okay. I love him and I was getting, for the most part, what I needed from him.
So last week when we got to Chicago (we met there because his kid lives there), we took a nap and then after we had dinner, he sat me down and said we needed to talk. He said that the relationship had never been fair to me and that it wasn’t going to work. When I pushed him for a reason, he said that he didn’t feel that “spark” for me anymore. He said he’d leave and stay somewhere else if I wanted him to, but I told him to stay. He said I’m his best friend and he doesn’t want to lose me, but that he would understand if I couldn’t be friends with him. So I was with him for the entire week and it was weird, but I’m glad I told him to stay.
There was no kissing, touching or sex during the time we were together. When I asked why, he said he couldn’t sleep with me because it would confuse both of us and it would be too hard. But during the week, I kept catching him looking at me… you know, the kind of look that you give someone you love and you want. A look of desire. He almost kissed me so many times. And the day we parted, he had tears in his eyes all day. He wouldn’t even touch me because he said it was hard. So, like… I’m wondering. If he doesn’t have that “spark” for me anymore, why would he even be sad? Why would he not want to even touch me? What man turns down sex? I don’t get it.
He called yesterday and he told me that he just can’t be responsible for me emotionally “right now” as my boyfriend because he has so many other things going on in his life. He said he wants me to live my life and not to wait around for him, but that he is not closed off to the idea of something happening in the future.
I don’t know what to think or feel so I am just looking for opinions/thoughts.
Our relationship was intense. It was the kind of love that you dream of having. I’ve NEVER had that kind of connection with someone before. He told me all the time that he’d never loved anyone as much as he loved me and said several times “I think I’d die without you”. He also told me that he had trouble being vulnerable in relationships. I kept worrying that he’d get scared of how he was feeling and push me away.
We are both intense, emotional people. We bickered back and forth a LOT. Nothing that was ever like earth shattering, but we just bickered. We had very few actual incidents that I’d call an actual fight. But a lot of the emotional burdens of the relationship fell on me because he has a lot of other stuff going on in his life. But that was okay. I love him and I was getting, for the most part, what I needed from him.
So last week when we got to Chicago (we met there because his kid lives there), we took a nap and then after we had dinner, he sat me down and said we needed to talk. He said that the relationship had never been fair to me and that it wasn’t going to work. When I pushed him for a reason, he said that he didn’t feel that “spark” for me anymore. He said he’d leave and stay somewhere else if I wanted him to, but I told him to stay. He said I’m his best friend and he doesn’t want to lose me, but that he would understand if I couldn’t be friends with him. So I was with him for the entire week and it was weird, but I’m glad I told him to stay.
There was no kissing, touching or sex during the time we were together. When I asked why, he said he couldn’t sleep with me because it would confuse both of us and it would be too hard. But during the week, I kept catching him looking at me… you know, the kind of look that you give someone you love and you want. A look of desire. He almost kissed me so many times. And the day we parted, he had tears in his eyes all day. He wouldn’t even touch me because he said it was hard. So, like… I’m wondering. If he doesn’t have that “spark” for me anymore, why would he even be sad? Why would he not want to even touch me? What man turns down sex? I don’t get it.
He called yesterday and he told me that he just can’t be responsible for me emotionally “right now” as my boyfriend because he has so many other things going on in his life. He said he wants me to live my life and not to wait around for him, but that he is not closed off to the idea of something happening in the future.
I don’t know what to think or feel so I am just looking for opinions/thoughts.
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