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    #1

    Shatterd and broken....

    Hey,well this post is actually the reason why i created my profile here, to search 4 help.
    I just dont know anymore wat i shoud do...
    So maybe i shoud begin to tell waht brings me pain every day. (sorry 4 my not really good english)

    I meat her on Youtube, in the commentbox.
    After that we wirte a lot and soon we startet to skype... well i think the next part is clear.
    So we meet, one the first day we fall in love and everithing was... fast.
    I woud say we had a relationship.
    After the tree days i was by her i had to go home becouse her holidays enden and she had to do a lot 4 scool.
    Well... 2 weeks after taht she finished off, maybe she finished already off on the 3. day, if i so think about it... i am sure she did it allready on the 3 day.
    And... no i coud tell now waht exactly happend, but tahts just too much.
    So we broke up and ... i just was dying every day.
    We had many conflicts after taht...
    Well, taht all was ago 5 months and i still cant get over it.
    Its like i just can watch while everything breaks down, she and me....
    And i had a many times a suicide mind.
    Taht was not the only reason, but one.

    Now its like she still wont loos me, but she want not get me to close to dont hurt us anymore...
    I think we both just at the end.

    I really hope to can get here some help...

    Greetings, Andre.
    Tags: broke up, broken, help me, pain, painful
    #2
    First, there is nothing (relationships, grades, family issues) that should ever lead you to suicide. It sounds like you have a lot going on within your life that you need to handle before worrying about a relationship. You are only 17 and there is a lot of life, learning and maturing ahead of you. Take time focus on yourself and get you to where you want to be as an individual first. As your life and maturity progresses, then you will be better able to handle a relationship and all of its ups and downs.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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      #3
      I lost a brother at his ripe old age of 19. He thought he had nothing to live for. He was epileptic and considered himself a loser in love and life. I wish so hard I could go back and explain to him how insanely wrong that was, and what a full life he could have had. I also was quite pissed at losing my big brother and somwhat fraked up from it for years and my mom never got over it.

      There is always something to live for, it's called the future, and that is what you make it, at 8, 18, or 80. You can find another love, another path and another whatever you choose.... you just must choose life.

      My life was incredibly different 10 years ago, and even more so 10 years before that. I had no idea what life would be, but I lived it. You need to choose you and choose life and then you will find a true love when the time is right.
      "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
      Benjamin Franklin

      Comment

        #4
        Wow, Hollandia. Thank you so much for sharing that.

        OP do you have access to mental health services in your area?? 17 was a terrible age for me. I'd been in therapy on and off for years at that point for depression. I'd threatened suicide, I used to cut myself, I lost a friend and was just gutted. Talking to my therapist helped me. They put me on anti-depressants and it stopped the nasty voice in my head telling me how horrible I thought I was.

        I really think you would benefit from something like this. It gets better. It really does. I know it just looks like a black nothingness right now, you will be better. So please take care of yourself.
        "Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

        Comment

          #5
          You deserve to get better, and you deserve to find happiness. But you are not going to be able to find that alone, and that's okay. Please seek out professional mental help. If you aren't sure where to go, counseling and suicide hotlines can be big helps - Talk to them about your feelings and they can often redirect you to local resources. This is a good start: https://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

          Best of luck. You can make it out of this.

          ~
          It'll take a lot more than words and guns
          A whole lot more than riches and muscle
          The hands of the many must join as one
          And together we'll cross the river

          Comment

            #6
            Seconded on what's been said already. I've self-harmed; my wrists are rife with small scars. I cut myself so deep one time, I almost ended up going to hospital. I almost suicided at least 3 times, and I've ended up on anti-depressants because of my "severe depression." I've been there, to the bottom, but I've also been to the top. Let me tell you something, OP: killing yourself is not the answer and in your instance, it would be a purely selfish act; consider the people you would hurt if you did anything. Friends? Family? This girl? No, no. You kill yourself, and that's it. No second chance. Do you REALLY, TRULY want to do that? Think of the lives you'd ruin, hmm?

            Get yourself to a therapist or someone who is an expert in this field. You need to speak to someone, because moping around and worrying your life away... it's no good. Trust me.

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              #7
              Yes tahts true.
              I had had suicide minds, but its get better now.
              The reason why i had one was becouse i have lost my zest for life, but that coud be change now.
              Thanks.

              Comment

                #8
                Yes, i think suicide woud be verry egoistic from me, and i allready have choosen the life.
                Taht means not that all my lifless and empty feelings just disappeart, but i work on other feelings.

                Comment

                  #9
                  I am on a way like you was if you was in my age.
                  But there is somthing that helps me more that my adviser, it coud save my life.

                  And no, thank you 4 the answer.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Hey, first of all... wow i did found my post here by accident. I synchronized my google account and got so old bookmarks.
                    I dont know if anybody is interresting this neraly 4 Years after, but here i go:

                    You all where really right, and i have to thank you. Becouse it seems like you helpet me back then a lot. My life back there looks like the deepest abyss if ever looked in to. Taht of course allready tells taht i am in a way better mental state now.
                    So Yeah, we never know how it is going on, and i am supprised to can say, there was a time i was a lot of more a wreck. And tahts a good thing.

                    -Grettings

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