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    #1

    I really want to meet her but there's a problem

    Hello all! I'll try to keep this post as brief as possible.

    I'm a 23 year old engineering graduate and I come from a traditional Indian family. My parents are quite orthodox and has no belief in long distance relationships or dating. I guess I'm a very open-minded person and I met my SO a year ago. We were friends for 6 months before we got into a relationship. I believe it's time I meet her in person and see how it goes. I have talked to her on video several times and her friends and family know about me and she said I don't have to worry about anything.

    But the problem is, I don't know if my parents would agree to let me travel all alone to a different country as I've never traveled alone by myself. What bothers me is they still treat me like a child and thinks I can't take care of myself and because of this, I still feel immature and like a child. My parents know me quite well and they wouldn't be surprised if they find out I'm dating a girl from another country. I'm not close with my parents though. I don't know how they'd react if I tell them I want to travel to another country to visit a friend. I don't have the courage to ask their permission and I don't know how or what to tell them about this.

    Also, one more question..She's going to send me an invite letter from her University. Would that help me getting a visa?
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    #2
    Do you still live with your parents or depend financially on them? How important is their approval?

    ~
    It'll take a lot more than words and guns
    A whole lot more than riches and muscle
    The hands of the many must join as one
    And together we'll cross the river

    Comment

      #3
      Miasmata's question is probably the first thing you need to reflect on before your second question. For the visa question though, what type of visa and what do you mean by an invite letter from her university? Are you planning to go to her country to study? Because that's the only way a letter from a university would have any influence on a visa application.
      When two hearts are meant for each other, no distance is too far,
      no time is too long, and no other love can break them apart.

      Comment

        #4
        I agree with your parents. Your first travel alone should not be to another country. If you start to travel a bit on your own nationally, you will soon learn some useful things. If you start to visit friends in other cities, that can also be your excuse if you don't want to tell your parents where you are going.
        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

        Comment

          #5
          I have to agree with everything said. I would probably not be rushing into the idea of a visa yet but rather focus at the problem at hand. Traveling within the same country alone can be stressful. Especially changing flights, keeping up with all your times and needs of transportation, how often you'll need to eat, sleep etc. Depending on how long the journey depends on how hard the travel will be. However you DO have to figure out how to handle things on your own and traveling away from family can be very helpful. Bear in mind distance from home, finances, and your current records like a passport, license, age etc. are all important. Rental cars usually require you to be at least twenty one with a valid drivers license. Traveling between countries will require the minimum of a passport and an usually another form of ID. The amount of money you'll need is a huge factor. Making sure you have enough money for "mess ups" is probably the biggest detail. If a connecting flight gets cancelled and you need a place to sleep so you can catch the flight the next day, you'll need money for a hotel. If you need to get a bus ticket to the airport or another airport that's also a factor. The possibility of having to rent a car is there as well. If things fall through with you and your GF will you have enough money to be 100% on your own for the duration of your trip? I hope I don't sound too negative! Just trying to hand out so imfo to think on

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by conejita_hada View Post
            For the visa question though, what type of visa and what do you mean by an invite letter from her university? Are you planning to go to her country to study? Because that's the only way a letter from a university would have any influence on a visa application.
            A letter from universitety could also be used for shorter stays that doesn't involve studies. My university make often make personal invites for people because that is sometimes the only way those from certain countries can come to hold a lecture, or stay for a conferance or a festival. But yes, it is important to bear in mind which type of visa you are going for and to cater the visa application to that.
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by Miasmata View Post
              Do you still live with your parents or depend financially on them? How important is their approval?
              Yes, I still live with them but I'm moving out in a few months. I do depend on them financially but I have my own money. I don't have much problems about money. I can't go without their approval. I just need to tell them a genuine reason and maybe, they'll let me go.

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
                I agree with your parents. Your first travel alone should not be to another country. If you start to travel a bit on your own nationally, you will soon learn some useful things. If you start to visit friends in other cities, that can also be your excuse if you don't want to tell your parents where you are going.
                I have traveled alone in my country. They don't have a problem with that. In fact, they never refused whenever I told them I'm traveling with friends or alone.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by conejita_hada View Post
                  Miasmata's question is probably the first thing you need to reflect on before your second question. For the visa question though, what type of visa and what do you mean by an invite letter from her university? Are you planning to go to her country to study? Because that's the only way a letter from a university would have any influence on a visa application.
                  Nope, just a visitor visa and I intend to stay there for a week. She said, every year..she can invite friends or family to visit her and they can check her university..I'm not sure how to explain that.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by gvitesse View Post
                    Nope, just a visitor visa and I intend to stay there for a week. She said, every year..she can invite friends or family to visit her and they can check her university..I'm not sure how to explain that.
                    I work at a university and I think I know what you're talking about. It's an invitation from the school to check out their programs and such? I know, depending on what country you're coming from, there are some visa restrictions. The invitation letters allow people in the visa issuing process to verify that yes, you're coming to the country for education, conference, whatever the purpose might be. Does that sound accurate?

                    I'm not suggesting you lie to your parents, but if you ask them if going to visit a university that you're interested in for educational purposes, do you think they would be amenable to that? I mean, yes, you'd be meeting her there, but if the primary goal were to pursue an educational interest, do you think they'd understand that a little better?
                    "Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by merlinkitty View Post
                      I work at a university and I think I know what you're talking about. It's an invitation from the school to check out their programs and such? I know, depending on what country you're coming from, there are some visa restrictions. The invitation letters allow people in the visa issuing process to verify that yes, you're coming to the country for education, conference, whatever the purpose might be. Does that sound accurate?

                      I'm not suggesting you lie to your parents, but if you ask them if going to visit a university that you're interested in for educational purposes, do you think they would be amenable to that? I mean, yes, you'd be meeting her there, but if the primary goal were to pursue an educational interest, do you think they'd understand that a little better?
                      Yeah, something like that. Does that help ease up the visa process? I'm planning to tell my parents about the invitation letter from University. I do have plans on pursuing my master's over there but in future.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Originally posted by gvitesse View Post
                        Yeah, something like that. Does that help ease up the visa process? I'm planning to tell my parents about the invitation letter from University. I do have plans on pursuing my master's over there but in future.
                        Yeah it greases the wheels a bit, especially if it's countries not eligible for the relevant Visa waiver programs
                        "Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by merlinkitty View Post
                          Yeah it greases the wheels a bit, especially if it's countries not eligible for the relevant Visa waiver programs
                          Thanks! I'm a little paranoid about going alone but I don't want to live in fear and regret later. This is a huge step for me. I've never done anything like this

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Originally posted by gvitesse View Post
                            Thanks! I'm a little paranoid about going alone but I don't want to live in fear and regret later. This is a huge step for me. I've never done anything like this
                            I'd be travelling to meet my SO alone, and doing something I'd never done before. It's a daunting prospect, but I'm looking forward to it. You should be able to get away with your parents' prying if you explained about the invite. Hopefully they won't look the other way

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