Torn..what Route to take :/

[Happygirl123]

I came out in the open with my dad yesterday and told him that I wanted to travel to the states for a holiday to see my SO.

To put it simply, he freaked out. He was worried for my safety, if I needed help I wouldn't have any family or friends out there, "morally" etc and all these implications.

He said he can't physically stop me (I.e throw out my tickets or something) because I am an adult, but it would change a lot of things if I went against his wishes.

I'm afraid that now, as I suspect, he's feeling some hostility against the situation since he believes that I'm going through too much stress and that I'm going against him etc etc.

SO is trying to leave the military which is great because it means he can come & visit me..but if he stays it means he may get deployed to Iraq. Id want to see him if that were to happen.

I'm torn between my dad & potentially the love of my life. I don't want to put my father through that amount of stress, nor do I want to tarnish the relationship we have. But I really want to see him, even more so if I know he's going to war.

[Honour]

I'm facing something very similar, so I understand how you feel 100%. The only thing I can suggest is DO WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU, and DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! Keep in mind that no one can force you to do ANYTHING. It's YOUR life, no one else's.

[Miasmata]

You are your own person and an adult capable of making their own decisions. You should definitely keep open communication with your dad, especially once the situation has settled a bit and he has calmed down, but don't feel the need to change your mind over this. Setting your boundaries in front of your parents is often a difficult and not always painless process, but definitely keep at it. You can do that without antagonizing him. Be open and kind with him, but also firm and clear on your wishes.