When does it get better?

[Bre]

My bf just left for Portugal for one year and I am a total mess. I've been trying to keep myself busy but there's still this underlying sadness and I find myself in tears. How long does this feeling last?

[Unconditional]

It lasts a bit. Lasts longer if you continue to wallow in it though. Give yourself a few days to cry it all out, it'll all be okay

[Harlequin]

Yeah, it's going to hurt for a little bit. It will get better, though! Just throw yourself into your life and keep going. Try to schedule skype dates and otherwise keep in touch. You'll be fine, so keep your chin up

[Noodle]

Just keep busy. It'll help keep your mind preoccupied and the time apart will go by even faster~

[merlinkitty]

Hang in there, get yourself into a routine. An idle mind will eat at you. It'll be okay

[Bre]

Thank you all.

[Unconditional]

Thank you all.

No problem, we are here for support. Feel free to have a nice look around the forums. lots of threads around here somewhere x)

[canuck]

Yep, I'm relatively new to the whole LDR thing, too. At least for an extended period anyways. It'll bug you for a bit, but wallowing in it will only drag things out. You'll feel better though, thats guaranteed. Give yourself a bit of a grieving period to deal with things, but if it carries on after a week, get yourself out and about and motivated!!

[Wolv]

LDR is not for everyone and it can be brutal at times but it can also be equally rewarding even more so than your typical close-distance relationship (in my opinion).

You'll want to always have a goal in mind (How long are we going to be apart? What is our plan to close the distance? etc), because in the end no couple can stay apart forever and the distance must be closed, even if it takes years.

Do similar activities like reading books, watching movies or whatever it may be. You'll be able to keep the conversation fresh and even though you're living far from each our you're still able to create shared experiences which is always a great feeling.

If you both have cell phones get a good messenger app. Some good ones are WhatsApp (free for the first year, then $0.99 USD after), Kik, LINE, and Telegraph. Me and my SO started out using WhatsApp but just recently we switched to Telegraph which is a lot like WhatsApp so there isn't a learning curve and it's not a big change for me or my SO. I've used LINE as well and there are a lot of fun and playful stickers you can download (some free, others paid) but personally the emojis given via Telegraph are enough for me and my SO.

Buy and send each other LFAD bracelets ( https://www.lovingfromadistance.com/ldrbracelets.html ) There is power in a memento! We often attach meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether knowingly or not. This is what we all do — we try to store memories in physical things, in hope that when our mind fails us, we can look or hold on to something that will help us remember. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person, when others may see little or no value in it.

I don't know if any of these will be helpful but they have been some of the most important things in my mind that have kept me and my SO together for going on close to two years now. I hope at least one of these will benefit you and your SO! Obviously keep coming back here to read and post if need be. This place is a great place to come if you are having a problem and want some advice, or maybe just feel like you're alone; coming here always makes me feel better as I know there are people going through what I'm going through but there are also people here who have OVERCOME the distance and closed it for good. It's very encouraging to see, and a personal goal of mine (to close the distance with my SO).

[Wolv]

My SO is in the Philippines and when she is in a large city we can use these apps to call each other but she lives far in the country so we are stuck just texting most of the time which is why I forgot to mention that when getting a messenger app you might also want to get a secondary app like Viber or KakaoTalk if your primary messenger app doesn't have free calling since you are in the USA and your SO is in Portugal. Personally I don't like Viber or KakaoTalk for talking via text but they offer you the ability to make phone calls with your WiFi and/or Mobile connection which will save you a ton of money in international calls or Skype credits and I've have good quality calls to the Philippines with KakaoTalk, Viber and LINE, all three of these would give good quality but not always and when quality was bad we would try another. LINE worked with the best quality for me and my SO which makes sense since LINE servers and developers are located in China, which isn't too far from the Philippines. I would test out a few and see which works best between the USA and Portugal.

[Bre]

Yes this was very helpful. Thank you!

[Honour]

It will all come together given time, and once you get used to a routine, you'll probably wonder what you worried so much about :P We all have our off days, though. We're still human, after all.