Triggers

[Jellybean]

Mine is my girlfriend's best friend. Whenever he comes up in conversation, I feel myself getting upset and then I get quiet, then It just completely ruins my mood

I have the exact same issue :/ I hate it...as soon as I hear anything about her I just completely go off talking to him lol its bad and I really dont like it but im trying to get past it. However iim not sure how you can deal with this one lol

[noodle]

well for me its usually when he mentions his ex (who is a good friend now). or in general when it comes to girls ^^
Im super jealous lol I know my SO is true and that he wouldnt cheat on me but still lol I dont like girls around him :P

[vixx360]

Mine is his girls coming over for the weekend (he has two daughters) and it makes me feel so selfish.

It's got nothing to do with his daughters, I don't for a moment want him to not see them and would never dream of saying anything but yes I get jealous of the time that he spends with them because I don't get to speak to him when they are about, only because of our timezone differences and him being occupied with them during the day and going to bed at normal sociable times rather than staying up to see me.

I totally respect his relationship with his with children and encourage him to spend time with them, to the point of telling him that as he has children and I don't, that they need to be our main concern when looking at future moves to be together when he gets all excited and talks about moving over here.

But while I will always encourage him to put them first, I also always get a little depressed when he says they're coming to visit....I want my boy in a privately childish, whiny way but hey I'll continue to keep it to myself, try to act like a grown-up and look for extra hugs when I get him back.

It'll be much better when spending time with other people does not have to be at the exclusion of spending time together.

[Andy]

Good thread this. I've had this happen a few times to me, but it's never anything specific that always sets me off, it'll usually be something she mentions in a text or in MSN and it usually catches me off guard tbh but instantly completely silences me and makes me go quiet. Luckily these feelings are quite rare but when I do get them I feel really sad. Sometimes it passes within an hour or so, or even a few minutes sometimes, but I've let some things bother me for days on end. Sometimes, maybe even most of the time actually, she doesn't even know, but others are like when she's made a nasty comment in the heat of the moment, I get the same feeling.

From being with her, and having these emotions I've noticed that I am completely incapable of hiding when I'm feeling like this. If we're together then she knows instantly that something's up. Apart from this I usually keep a tight lid on my emotions but these triggers get me right in my weak spot lol.

[xMesmerize124]

My trigger would probably be when my bf mentions his best friend. What makes it worse its a girl, and the fact that they even had sexual encounters in the past. So it makes me uneasy hearing him say her name and hearing about her hanging out with him.

[Èternity]

Ugh his ex triggers me, not badly but there are days. My ex triggers me, still. People who take their CDR for granted set me off. Small acts of random kindness touch me deeply. Anyway, I try to turn it into a positive. I usually just say out loud, (when I'm ALONE and you have to mean it) 'Argggghhh I'm so angry and I love my anger. It means I'm passionate and strong'. If I'm sad, I usually say 'I'm so sad and I love my sadness, it means I care deeply and I'm not indifferent to how the world affects me.' If that doesn't work I just sit there quietly and let the tears roll or scream into a pillow. I try to get it out. Sounds a bit out there but it works for me not everyone.

[Lunar Snow]

When he mentions his nasty friend G, I can go into non-talkative mode (she's playing one of his piano compositions for his recital and she did a nice thing for her bf recently, so I sent her a kind message on Facebook and she never said anything back--she continues to be non-awesome). Exes of his who have caused trouble (and probably mysterious ones we have yet to discuss, whom have been deleterious to the expression of his emotions) or remind me of a time when he was not the person I love now really make me feel down.

Needle as a personal trigger? I've never been afraid of needles, but I had to get quite a few blood tests this summer to monitor my iron levels and found it rather fascinating. However, I went to the dentist recently and just started crying my eyes out and shaking after I saw him give me the anaesthetic with a big needle (maybe it was a reaction to the actual anaesthetic, though).

[TristenLove]

The ex wife... ugh... Any time the name Becka comes up I'm instantly grumpy. or the crazy chicks he won't let me yell at. both are sure fight starters.

[Karringtyn]

I am trying to think of what triggers me.. I know there are...so I will be back to this....just gotta think...good topic to really make one think...and to eventually figure out a solution...

[nicole]

his ex's for sure, all of them seem to be crazy 0_0
One was trying to break us up for the best part of 5 months, one keeps trying to plan trips with him (I mean wtf, if someone ignores all of your calls, fb messages, after a 2 years you should really just stop) and one is a bridesmaid in the wedding he is being the grooms best man in. that really upsets me, and it also upsets her boyfriend too- he actually requested my SO specifically not to escort her down the aisle, so now I know my SO will do it just to be awkward. He doesn't mean anything by it, but it really upsets me.

My SO always used to tell me stories about is exs all the time, which is why it really upsets me now I think, it didn't do wonders for my self-esteem. He knows not to now, but he says he's so comfortable talking with me, he feels like he can tell me anything. That makes me happy but at the same time, whilst I'm not stupid and know he's had girlfriends and slept with other people before me, I do not want it shoved in my face. I've had nightmares about him going back to one of them it was that bad, we've talked about it, but it's still a touchy subject for me.

[Kirschlein]

For me his family is my trigger to be sad and cold. It may sound weird, but i am actually really jealous of them to be with my SO all the time. I want that too and i miss him. We happily talked about that issue and got to the point now, that i don't feel really mad anymore, so i would treat him bad like i did. Also we have set dates to see each other soon again AND that he comes here to live with me the rest of his life next year in summer. Now i want him to be with his family, because i will have him all the time later. It made me really calm :3

[Talent_2]

In all my past relationships ive been an overly jealous person something to do with my low self confidence i think, but anyway i have tried really hard not to be that way with my SO and for the majority of the time ive been doing really well, but occaisionally (expecially when feeling low) if he says his ex got in contact or he had fun at work with the girl he works with i get really upset and i suppose jealous, and angry. i tend to take deep breaths tell him how im feeling and we talk about it then try to concentrate on other things til the feeling subsides but it can be really hard to deal with these "triggers" sometimes

[Andy]

I just had one!

When I'm at Tanja's house she always keeps a knife with the butter in the fridge, but back home here, we don't do that. I just used the butter downstairs and automatically went to put the knife back into the fridge along with it!

It made me smile

I am trying to think of what triggers me.. I know there are...so I will be back to this....just gotta think...good topic to really make one think...and to eventually figure out a solution...

Well?