Can't stop that uneasy feeling

[thatshortgirl]

My LDR feels like it's falling apart. We've been fighting for weeks and he hid his relationship status on Facebook. I thought we were going to breakup. But, he is still flying out to visit me in a week. All I wanted was for him to come, I just wanted to be able to see him and talk to him again, whatever the outcome. But now I'm super anxious and super uneasy about the idea of him being here. I don't know what to do.

[Miasmata]

Why are you fighting? What is making you anxious? Can you elaborate?

[Honour]

What brought about your fights? Why would he "hide his relationship status on Facebook?" *sigh* Facebook is a terrible place for drama to linger and eventually fester into something really ugly. I can't really say whether or not it's a good idea he comes and sees you unless I understand a little better, but it doesn't sound in the slightest bit good. You have 2 choices as far as I can see: tell him not to come, that you don't want to see him unless you can both talk straight about why this is happening to you both, and you be honest about your fears with him, or you wait until he comes to see you and you both try and sort things out in person. I can't honestly tell you what's best but if I were you, I would seriously take a step back from the situation, see what's causing the problem, and communicate as calmly as you both can.

[Moon]

You didn't really give enough info to properly advise you, but since you've been together a couple of years and have met before, let him come and see where it takes you. He obviously still cares or he wouldn't be coming, and it's the best way to find out where your relationship stands. It's OK to be nervous and anxious, and it could be that one or both of you have outgrown the relationship, but the visit should, if nothing else, bring you clarity. Try to take it easy until he gets there, don't fight over things that are stupid and not worth it, think about it first and let the little things go. Put yourself in the best possible, calm, position and see what happens. Good luck.

[thatshortgirl]

He started ignoring my calls and would barely text me. We weren't talking for days, so I asked if he was still coming because I was going to get a refund on the ticket if he wasn't. All I wanted was for him to say he was still coming, but know that I know he is, I can't stop freaking out. I just feel like we're going to break up. And when I try to tell him what's on my mind, all he can talk about is sex. I miss him and I miss us, but not like this. But he won't talk to me, so I can't tell if I am projecting or if I'm right.

[Unconditional]

You still haven't really brought up what started the fights per se.
You sound very emotional right now, so just breath and don't freak out, and start from the beginning.

[thatshortgirl]

We were fighting over him ignoring my calls (he would send it straight to voicemail) and about him not talking to me anymore.

[Unconditional]

Well communication is everything in an LDR. What reason does he have for ignoring you?.

[thatshortgirl]

I have no idea. I tried to talk to him about it, and he refuses to. And I was trying to talk to him about his visit here, because I want to be on the same page when he lands, but he won't. And he knows that it's important to me and that it's hurting me that he won't talk, but nothing changes. It doesn't seem like he cares anymore. I know he isn't a person who likes to text or be on the phone, but when you're in a LDR, you can't be there to hold someone's hand or fall asleep together or cook dinner. All you can do is chat. And he doesn't want to, and I feel really isolated and really scared.

[Unconditional]

I have no idea. I tried to talk to him about it, and he refuses to. And I was trying to talk to him about his visit here, because I want to be on the same page when he lands, but he won't. And he knows that it's important to me and that it's hurting me that he won't talk, but nothing changes. It doesn't seem like he cares anymore.

This just does not look like a good situation. It is rude and immature of him to act this way. He is basically starving you of communication, and that is horrible. I suggest to just wait and see until he does visit. That's the best I get, but the situation seems dismal to me. :/ I usually dislike giving non-optimistic advice, but I feel it is best to be honest and straight forward for advice.

[Honour]

I have no idea. I tried to talk to him about it, and he refuses to. And I was trying to talk to him about his visit here, because I want to be on the same page when he lands, but he won't. And he knows that it's important to me and that it's hurting me that he won't talk, but nothing changes. It doesn't seem like he cares anymore. I know he isn't a person who likes to text or be on the phone, but when you're in a LDR, you can't be there to hold someone's hand or fall asleep together or cook dinner. All you can do is chat. And he doesn't want to, and I feel really isolated and really scared.

Let him come to you, then tell him straight to his face how you feel. That will probably do the trick.