To text or not to text? (Sorry more rambling)

[TheSteelAngel]

I find myself asking this a lot now. Texting has been our only form of communication ever since he started working nights, and ever since then I've been the one initiating the conversation. It's not like it bothers me too much because that's a part of my personality. If I feel like talking to someone I always strike up a conversation with them.

Anyway what really bothers me is how busy he is lately. It feels like he doesn't have time for me anymore and I wish I could tell him this, but if I text him that I feel that he will read it and not respond to it. I think that the only way I could be able to tell him this is if we Skype, which is another problem because his work schedule makes things difficult and makes planning to talk pretty hard.

I texted him yesterday asking him how he was coping (if you want the full story read my last blog post) and got nothing. I'm worried about him and I don't know if he ignored me on purpose or is just busy (which is probably all that is). Sorry that this is all over the place but I feel kinda stuck here and I'm trying to let out some steam. So what do you guys think? Should I try texting him again today or should I wait for him? And if I wait for him how long should I wait? Because sometimes I feel that he won't try to talk to me if I don't try to contact him. Ahh this is so crazy :/

[whatruckus]

I find myself asking this a lot now. Texting has been our only form of communication ever since he started working nights, and ever since then I've been the one initiating the conversation. It's not like it bothers me too much because that's a part of my personality. If I feel like talking to someone I always strike up a conversation with them.

Anyway what really bothers me is how busy he is lately. It feels like he doesn't have time for me anymore and I wish I could tell him this, but if I text him that I feel that he will read it and not respond to it. I think that the only way I could be able to tell him this is if we Skype, which is another problem because his work schedule makes things difficult and makes planning to talk pretty hard.

I texted him yesterday asking him how he was coping (if you want the full story read my last blog post) and got nothing. I'm worried about him and I don't know if he ignored me on purpose or is just busy (which is probably all that is). Sorry that this is all over the place but I feel kinda stuck here and I'm trying to let out some steam. So what do you guys think? Should I try texting him again today or should I wait for him? And if I wait for him how long should I wait? Because sometimes I feel that he won't try to talk to me if I don't try to contact him. Ahh this is so crazy :/

It's really up to you. Being the person that I am, I would text him again and just be like "hope your day is going well!" Which is something I do everyday to my SO, even when he's working and won't see it until he's done. Just to let him know I'm thinking of him. Most of the time, mine sees my texts, but doesn't answer them. It's annoying. It could be that he read it, and just forgot to reply because he got busy. That happens a lot to my SO. Mine is also the type of person who doesn't talk a lot unless we're physically together, so digitally, I don't get much communication. Me, on the other hand, I like to talk all the time. (Hence, one reason I'm always on here and in the chat) We mostly on talk through FB Messenger, or text, and rarely phone calls.

But, if you're asking him how he's doing about what happened the other day, I wouldn't bring it up again unless he does. That's a very traumatic thing for the whole LE community to go through, and being that it was someone from his own district, it hits home for him pretty hard. Let him come to you if he wants to talk about it. There's been times at the jail my SO works at where an inmate had a shank and he didn't know it, or another CO was in a fight with an inmate, I try not to bring it up so I don't trigger him (his PTSD). He simply just tells me what happened, and I ask if he's alright, and then we drop it. Plus, it's not something most guys like talking about. Being that our SO's are in similar lines of work, they're manly men. They don't talk about their feelings too much, and they're always on guard. They're trained to be. Even though my SO is out of the Army and hasn't been deployed since 2009, there's instincts that he's picked up. Like, if we go out to eat, he ALWAYS has to sit facing the entrance, or towards the entrance. If I sit in that spot without thinking about it, he makes me get up and move. I'm sure your SO is the same.

But, like I said, if you do want to text him, just an innocent "Hey babe, I hope you're having a good day" seems to work just fine for me.

[Unconditional]

I agree with whatruckus.
Usually I send him a text when I am missin him hard- just a random one to hope that he is well and whatnot. Texting him makes me feel better even if he doesn't answer for a while.

[whatruckus]

Also, I wanted to mention, he's probably more alert/paranoid since what happened. So, he might not even be paying attention too much to his phone. Things should go back to normal after a little while, and things settle.

[merlinkitty]

Idk, what I've done when he got super busy is text him once every 24 hours until about day three or four and I would like "hey, dude, you there? You've got me worried." He still forgets to text me back now and again, but he'll usually tell me what's going on and I've gotten pretty laid back with it for the most part. I mean at some point if he doesn't respond maybe you need to be a little more direct with him and be like "I know you got a lot on your plate right now, but it worries me when I don't hear from you." Try not to let you mind eat you though. You may be imagining his head is eating him to pieces, and I'm sure it's got have affected him, but eating yourself up with no substantiated evidence of what's going on with him is going to make you a mess by the time you talk to him if you're anything like me Breathe honey bunny

[TheSteelAngel]

It's really up to you. Being the person that I am, I would text him again and just be like "hope your day is going well!" Which is something I do everyday to my SO, even when he's working and won't see it until he's done. Just to let him know I'm thinking of him. Most of the time, mine sees my texts, but doesn't answer them. It's annoying. It could be that he read it, and just forgot to reply because he got busy. That happens a lot to my SO. Mine is also the type of person who doesn't talk a lot unless we're physically together, so digitally, I don't get much communication. Me, on the other hand, I like to talk all the time. (Hence, one reason I'm always on here and in the chat) We mostly on talk through FB Messenger, or text, and rarely phone calls.

But, if you're asking him how he's doing about what happened the other day, I wouldn't bring it up again unless he does. That's a very traumatic thing for the whole LE community to go through, and being that it was someone from his own district, it hits home for him pretty hard. Let him come to you if he wants to talk about it. There's been times at the jail my SO works at where an inmate had a shank and he didn't know it, or another CO was in a fight with an inmate, I try not to bring it up so I don't trigger him (his PTSD). He simply just tells me what happened, and I ask if he's alright, and then we drop it. Plus, it's not something most guys like talking about. Being that our SO's are in similar lines of work, they're manly men. They don't talk about their feelings too much, and they're always on guard. They're trained to be. Even though my SO is out of the Army and hasn't been deployed since 2009, there's instincts that he's picked up. Like, if we go out to eat, he ALWAYS has to sit facing the entrance, or towards the entrance. If I sit in that spot without thinking about it, he makes me get up and move. I'm sure your SO is the same.

But, like I said, if you do want to text him, just an innocent "Hey babe, I hope you're having a good day" seems to work just fine for me.

Thank you, I'm so glad you answered to this btw. Our SO's are so very similar and everything you have said so far has helped. So let's hope it does this time too lol. And I didn't really bring up what had happened when I texted him. I just said something along the line of "I know things have been crazy lately, but I hope you're doing alright." or something like that.

[whatruckus]

Thank you, I'm so glad you answered to this btw. Our SO's are so very similar and everything you have said so far has helped. So let's hope it does this time too lol. And I didn't really bring up what had happened when I texted him. I just said something along the line of "I know things have been crazy lately, but I hope you're doing alright." or something like that.

That's fine, I'm sure he read it and wasn't bothered by it at all. They just get busy sometimes, and in that line of work, their brains are a little scattered trying to pay attention to every important detail while they're working.

[TheSteelAngel]

That's fine, I'm sure he read it and wasn't bothered by it at all. They just get busy sometimes, and in that line of work, their brains are a little scattered trying to pay attention to every important detail while they're working.

Oh that's good. And I know lol. He doesn't even look at his phone while he's working so the only time I can hopefully get a response from him is right before he leaves for work or when he's off. He told me he's been doing some sort of recertification training and that it's gonna take time to complete, but idk much else about it or for how long it will take. He always forgets to tell me important details like this lol.

[TheSteelAngel]

Yay he texted me back Turns out his trial that he told me about was today. I wish he could have let me know that but what ever. He's such a doofus at times I swear, but I say it with love lol.

[Honour]

Glad you got a text back. The best thing I can say to you is be patient, even if it's not easy. He'll message you back when he can, he's just really, really busy with his job. Try not to sit and worry too much

[Redheart14]

Glad all worked out

[TheSteelAngel]

Thank you all for your good advice and support guys. My boyfriend and I are hopefully going to Skype tomorrow for the first time in a month and I'm so happy! I texted him today because I totally forgot about my assignment for my research methods class where I have to interview 3 people and I asked him if he could help me out, and he said yes. Haha thank you school lol

[0897klpq]

I would say you both can try sending letters to each other. That is actually more meaningful I came to know. I wrote a short letter the other day and my hand was hurting and it took almost an hour to write. I am hoping she will appreciate it - which I am sure it will

Texting is texting, writing is writing. Give it a shot

[TheSteelAngel]

I would say you both can try sending letters to each other. That is actually more meaningful I came to know. I wrote a short letter the other day and my hand was hurting and it took almost an hour to write. I am hoping she will appreciate it - which I am sure it will

Texting is texting, writing is writing. Give it a shot

I actually did write him a letter about a week or two ago. He should get it anytime now