Can't take the silence...

[thatshortgirl]

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot recently about him not having time for me in his life. I know he is going through a lot (he still lives at home and is looking for a job and his truck is completely broken down etc etc), but it really hurts when he stops texting me for days at a time. And then when we start talking again, we're usually only okay for a couple hours before something happens and he disappears again or he starts being agitated and aggressive over text. We've talked about this a lot, and I have tried repeatedly to make it known that that is something that really, really bothers me. This last fight, we stopped talking for a week. At one point, over text, he said we were over. A little later he said that we were fine. And then he didn't talk to me for a week. Then, after what I thought was him reaching out and talking to me again, he hid his relationship status on Facebook. We have since talked and I thought everything was okay and that we were together. Only, I found out this morning he thought we were broken up the whole time I thought we were still together. And even though I said I wanted to be together now (he is coming to visit me in a week), and he said that he thought that was a good idea, he has kept the relationship hidden and has on and off stopped talking again. I don't know if we are together now, and I am really really freaked out that for the last few weeks I've been in a relationship and he has not. He won't talk to me about what is going on. I haven't heard his voice in weeks, any time I have attempted to call him he has sent me to voicemail. I love him more than anything, and we have both said we want to work things out, but I am hurt and confused and really anxious about his visit. I really just don't know what to do anymore, it's impossible to be in a LDR with someone who can't or won't communicate. We were supposed to end the distance this summer, he was going to move to be with me, but I don't think that's even possible anymore. I don't even know if we're together now. I don't trust him anymore, and that really really scares me.

[whatruckus]

My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot recently about him not having time for me in his life. I know he is going through a lot (he still lives at home and is looking for a job and his truck is completely broken down etc etc), but it really hurts when he stops texting me for days at a time. And then when we start talking again, we're usually only okay for a couple hours before something happens and he disappears again or he starts being agitated and aggressive over text. We've talked about this a lot, and I have tried repeatedly to make it known that that is something that really, really bothers me. This last fight, we stopped talking for a week. At one point, over text, he said we were over. A little later he said that we were fine. And then he didn't talk to me for a week. Then, after what I thought was him reaching out and talking to me again, he hid his relationship status on Facebook. We have since talked and I thought everything was okay and that we were together. Only, I found out this morning he thought we were broken up the whole time I thought we were still together. And even though I said I wanted to be together now (he is coming to visit me in a week), and he said that he thought that was a good idea, he has kept the relationship hidden and has on and off stopped talking again. I don't know if we are together now, and I am really really freaked out that for the last few weeks I've been in a relationship and he has not. He won't talk to me about what is going on. I haven't heard his voice in weeks, any time I have attempted to call him he has sent me to voicemail. I love him more than anything, and we have both said we want to work things out, but I am hurt and confused and really anxious about his visit. I really just don't know what to do anymore, it's impossible to be in a LDR with someone who can't or won't communicate. We were supposed to end the distance this summer, he was going to move to be with me, but I don't think that's even possible anymore. I don't even know if we're together now. I don't trust him anymore, and that really really scares me.

Um...I hate to break it to you, but this guy is not worth your time. He is playing with you. My ex used to pull crap like this all the time. "Together, but not together." You're 21, you're young. You'll find someone who's actually worth your time and respects you because it doesn't seem like your boyfriend does. He has no real reasons for disappearing on you or being aggressive. Those types of signs, along with him thinking that you're done, and fighting all the time, point to him maybe seeing someone else or not being mature enough to handle a relationship, especially an LDR. Even if there's things going on in his life, he shouldn't be acting this way towards you. Everyone has problems, everyone has tough situations. Don't let his problems be an excuse for him to emotionally abuse you the way he's doing. It's not right and it's not fair.