To soon to say I Love "YOU"
I been seeing T for about 4 months... He has 3 children he has full time... Kids are wonderful and I have visited 3 times.... staying 3 - 4 days at a time.... We had a talk last time I was there and we both said we have feeling for each other and we both are not looking for anyone else. He is very slowing moving and I like it but don't if you know what I mean... I'm a person who likes to know where I stand. He told me that he will not allow himself to miss me because it just makes him depressed. I'm scared if he doesn't allow himself to miss me he will not allow himself to go any further with his feelings. (Me moving at this time is not an option and we both agree on that.) I really think I could fall in Love with him but I'm scared.... Should I wait for him to tell me he is falling in love with me before I say anymore. I live alone so I have lots of free time on my hands to miss him... Yes I do get out and I belong to a Yoga group that we meet every night... I know I'm all over the place this is my first LDR and it scares me... any advice will be much appreciated......
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His way of keeping himself from missing you sounds like just a coping mechanism. Some people withdraw a little bit and hide their feelings or avoid it all together, it works for some. It's really best to just talk about your feelings since communication is definitely the most important thing, you both need to be on the same page. As far as saying "I love you", that's really up to you, how you're feeling and if you guys have talked about your feelings. My boyfriend told me he loved me after only a few weeks of talking, I was SHOCKED (to say the least) and I wish he would've waited until we were both a little more certain about how we felt, but if you feel like you're both at that stage then there is nothing wrong with saying it.
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I completely agree about it being a coping mechanism... I'm not at the point to say I Love you but it heading in that direction... Thank you for you input...Comment
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If you love him and you want to tell him then go for it. I don't think you should wait for him to say his feelings first. But also understand that he may not be ready to say it back yet and that's ok too. My SO told me she loved me and I didn't say it back right away. Doesn't mean I didn't love her; it just means I wasn't ready to say it. And she never pushed me to say it back right away either.
"True love isn't about being inseparable; its about two people being true to each other even when they are separated."
Married April 18th, 2015!!
Distance Closed October 4th, 2015!!Comment
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I have to agree with Sarah. It's really up to you. If you feel like waiting for him to say it, then you should wait. If you feel like you've waited too much already and can't bear it any more, then you should say it first. Saying "I love you" successfully the first time is all about the timing. The situation has to be right you know what I'm saying?Comment
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Thank you for your advice... Like I said I'm new at LDR.... I see you been in a LDR for a long time... this is all new to me... every relationship I have been in we see each other regular so this every 30 day's is hard...I don't think I ready to tell him I love him yet but getting close...Comment
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You are right timing is everything and I don't want to do it over text... thanks for your input.... Planning and trip next month will see what happens...Comment
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It depends a bit why he is scared. Has he been hurt in the past? How was he with his exes?
I always found it scary to say I love you first, so I always waited until the other person said it first and then some. With SO, everything went from 0 to 100 in no time, so we both said it pretty much right away. With my husband, I was scared because I came straight from a tough breakup, so it took me about a year to say I love you back.Last edited by differentcountries; March 26, 2015, 03:25 AM.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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He was hurt very bad... ex cheated and tried to get him in all kinda of trouble.....she not involved with kids very much so I'm sure he wants to make sure no one hurts his kids and himself again... I will just have to give it time and hope he see I'm not his EX!!!!!Comment
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How long ago was the split from the ex?Originally posted by Gayle1462 View PostTo those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
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About 2 years..... but it was a very bad split....Comment
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When it's a bad split and with kids involved, that can make it so extra tough. I'm sure he realizes you're not his ex but it can take a long time to be able to trust anyone again.
As far as the "I love you" goes, my SO knew he loved me before I felt the same about him. One night he told me that he knew how he felt but that he just couldn't stay it knowing I wasn't ready to say it back. He also told me that when I was sure of my feelings and ready to tell him, that I could be guaranteed he'd say it back. And when the time came and I told him, sure enough he said it right back.To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
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