Need some advice

[Irishvixen96]

Today I asked my S/O if he is still sexually and emotinally attracted to me. He said sexually yes but he feels like he is taking care of me and he isn't being taken care of. I asked him how. He said just me taking him out to relax and unwind and stuff when we do get to see each other. We didn't finish talking he had work. I asked if he wants me to stop saying I love him he said maybe just tone it down. I told him I need to know that he wants to work at us as much as I do. How do I make him feel more cared for ? Right now I don't have a job. So it's not like I can spend money on him which I wouldn't mind.

[Redheart14]

Texts, asking how he is. Photo collages and letters that show him how much you care. You don't have to spend money in order to show someone they're cared for. Talk to him more, let him vent to you, just listen if that's all he wants. Sounds like he is overloaded with "I love you". Try other things like "thinking of you, have a great day" or "hope you're home relaxing after your long day"

[Unconditional]

I agree with Redheart. You dos not need money to show someone you care for them. Think of creative ways to show him you care for him instead of sating, " I love you." as that phrase is sometimes over used.

[Miasmata]

Let your actions speak more often than your words! Like the previous posters said, be supportive and show it. Display interest in his work, listen to his worries, be his rock. Send him relaxing soundscapes or music when he's stressed. Like he said to you, focus more on showing your care for him rather than just saying it. Small gestures already mean a lot and prove that you care about his needs.

[differentcountries]

It is not about the money. It is about using your time and energy towards something that will please him, and hopefully you,too. Have you talked about love languages and what he likes to get? If you are not sure, expressing love through a combination of praise, gifts, tasks, touch and time might help. Most people like specific compliments, a thoughful gift, nice gestures and food/drinks, to be touched in a personal and curious way and to feel like time together is special time, like a date.

After I met SO, I had very little money. What I did was I spent some small money buying DIY stuff, and I made him a book of 52 reasons why I love him, with illustrations and all. Even now he says it is the nicest gift I ever gave him, because it showed that I cared, set aside time (it took me 2 1/2 weeks) and liked and understood him (they were very specific reasons!).

Generally, I find that curiosity moves love. If people feel that you are really, really interested in them, they feel like the king/queen of the world! It works the other way around too, because when you act curious you discover so many things, so that it becomes natural to be in awe over the other person.

[SummerNight]

I agree with all the previous posters. You need to show through your actions that you care. Words are cheap (even if you mean them).

[whatruckus]

I"m just going to list examples that I do for my SO:

Do his laundry/fold his laundry/put his laundry away when I'm at his house and he's working.
Write him cute emails.
Send him texts just to let him know I'm thinking about him (I always send him a "Have a good day today!" type text before he goes to work).
Send him cute pictures I find (like Pon & Zi comics).
Cook/bake for him (last year for his birthday he wanted French Macarons so I made a huge batch with different colors and fillings).
Download movies/shows for us to watch.
Ask him about his day (and actually pay attention).
When we're together, if he mentions his back hurts, I rub it for him without him asking.
I've done crafty things and made him stuff.
Moneywise: I buy us dinner, buy him a drink/shot, buy him Dart supplies (his passion, besides his job).

Some of the mushy stuff he says he thinks is dumb, but deep down I know he likes it (he keeps every email and every card I give him, and every crafty thing I've made for him, so he's a LIAR!).

As you can see, most of the stuff I do for him doesn't require money. He knows he is loved, he knows he is appreciated, he knows he is supported, and he knows he is cared for.

[differentcountries]

Things that cost no/little money that i do on visits:
I wash our clothes by hand or machine, bake for him, make dessert, do the dishes, and buy groceries and make dinner if we are not doing those things together
I have even done good housewife Things like sown his buttons on his clothes....
He rarely wears a shirt but if he does, I will iron it. Which he for some reason thinks is really sexy! Apparently my ironing skills are really good...
I will check if he has small items that he needs, like cosmetics, and get them before he even noticed he needed them
I give him lots of hugs, and let him stay in my lap (in summer he often falls asleep in my lap, like a child)
I give him thoughtful compliments, and let him know that I am curious about him
I will let him choose movies, even if some of his choices are a little off! I like just about any movie, and we have to choose something in English with Turkish underletters so that we will both understand it.
I did pick the Meg Ryan movie though (When Harry met Sally), because it is one of my favourites and it was so fun to see him laugh at most of my favourite Places in a movie I know almost by heart...

When we are apart I sometimes:
send him link to Youtube songs
send him poems that I like (often Norwegian or Scandinavian poems that I will translate to English)
Tell him I miss him
Send him pictures of me, him or us.
Tell him about stuff we did that I would like to repeat
Tell him about stuff we did not do yet that I hope will happen
Make him books with photoes and memories of us
Whennever I will be gone for more than 4 weeks, I write a letter and send it. I never tell him that i will do it so it is a little surprise for him