Last night my s/o was asking about my college and what I have covered with grants .which is my tuition and supplies and I would have to take a big loan out for room and bored and meal plan. Then he says how bout u move in here and ill drive us to school and u can help with gas and save all ur money from work and ill help u get ur first car. This was amazing and made me happy it would save me about 9,000 dollars and I won't be in debt. but I have people telling me that what if something goes wrong down the road. I want to close the distance and we have been friends for two years and he went navy and came home home and we got together. By the time I move in we will be together for a year. Does any one have suggestions or how ur experience went. But when he asked that i didn't have a doubt we have goals in our life's that we want to do together . Ya it is gunna save me money but mainly I want it to be closer to him and to make our hopes for our relationship a reality. To be able to spend out nights together is a big thing for us
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Last edited by Irishvixen96; March 31, 2015, 10:35 PM. -
In my personal opinion, if you are dating someone and they offer you some nice benefits like this, then I would take it. Before we started dating my SO said he could possibly hook me up with a job where he lived after I graduate since we work in the same field. And he asked me to move in with him. I didn't for sure say yes back then, but I really would like to take him up on his offer. I mean with the possibility of having a great job lined up plus being with my SO, it sounds like a pretty good deal to me
In the end though this is your decision. Think real hard about it choose what's going to make you happy. -
The first thing you should do is write a scenario where you break up and split and what would you do then. Can you still apply for a place, can you still take the loan, etc.
Whatever you decide to do it is important to have your back covered and exits ready, while it seems like assuming the worst, in my opinion it just makes you prepared for a lot of things.
Think about a situation where you fight and one of you wants to leave, what then? Can you allow yourself to move out in the middle of exams or school year?
I would also ask important people why they think it's a bad idea, and dig deeper than simple "It might not work"? Sometimes others see more than us.
I just moved in with my SO and while i believe with all my heart into this relationship I have money to cover for myself stored safely away, it's common sense.“We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.”
― Robert Fulghum, True Love
Met UK 3.08.2012-5.08.12 ->UK 1.12.12-3.12.12->PL 8.02.13-16.02.13->PL 1.06.13-9.06.13->UK 3.08.13-17.08.13->UK 26.10.2013-02.11.2013->PL 30.11.2013-08.12.2013->PL 22.03.2014-29.03.2014->UK 31.05.2014-07.06.2014->PL 06.09.2014-13.09.13->UK 20.12.2014-03.01.2015
Closed the distance >21.03.2015
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True what everyone said.Just have a backup plan.Maybe find job or save money just in case.You never know what awaits you.
However its great your SO suggested that.I would definetely try his offer but still its good to have plan B in your lifeComment
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Not knowing what the laws are where you are: there have been several court cases in my country where former live in boyfriends after the breakup have demanded the support money back from their ex girlfriends and won in court, because since they were not married he was not obliged to support her. Most of the cases has been where the girl didn't take up a student loan when she studied. It even happened to a friend of mine, she got into debt to her ex.
I would advice against letting yourself be supported if you have the option of taking up a loan. If you decide to let him pay, at least sign a contact where you stipulate who will cover which expenses.I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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I agree with the others to have a Plan B in place. Once you are in school, should you need to move, it may be much harder to get financial aid just for room and board plus the dorms may be full at that point.To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.
Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.
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He wouldn't be supporting me. If be working an supporting my self. I'd just be living with himComment
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If you don't have to take on a loan because you will live with him and he will cover the rent, he is supporting you.Originally posted by Irishvixen96 View PostI made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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There's been a lot of these types of posts lately I'm noticing, anyways, as I've said in all of them: Always cover your own ass, because as crappy as it sounds, you do not know what the future holds. Anything can happen, not just if you break up, but what if one of you gets hurt/laid off/fired, or an unexpected emergency comes up? Also, I agree with DC in what she said about the rent, and adding to that, he said he would help you get a car. That is also him supporting you, it's just worded differently. And, another thing I keep saying: Living together is completely different than visiting. Especially if you've never lived on your own before, or even been remotely close to living on your own. If he's not asking you for help with rent/help with utilities/help with food: He's supporting you.Comment
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I would be paying rent it's would be saving me alot of money and I wouldn't be going debt. And I'd have money saved up. I asked him what if something where to happen and he said he would make sure I had a place to stay if something did since I'd have money saved up and we are not the type to cheat. So if something did happen it be a mutal agreement.Comment
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It seems you already have your mind made up, so I have no suggestions that no one has already pointed out.Originally posted by Irishvixen96 View Post"We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."Comment
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If you would pay the actual cost of rentıng half hıs flat you would not be savıng money (that ıs what many students do already and they stıll have to take up loans even ıf they work part tıme).Originally posted by Irishvixen96 View PostI made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
- Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"
"Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visitsComment
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I really dislike when people say things like, "So-and-so isn't the type to cheat," because I've heard that many times before, and even said it myself (about my ex) and my ex cheated on me...multiple times, as well as some people that I know have said that and have been cheated on. I know we don't know you, we don't know your SO, but everyone has a little dark side to them. I trust my SO 100%, but that doesn't mean that something won't ever happen. It's just life and human nature, things happen.
We just want to make sure you're not left stranded if anything happened, regardless if you broke up or not. That's something we really stress to everyone who's wanting to close the distance, even ourselves, no matter which way they decide to do it.Comment
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