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**Mims27** · April 2, 2015, 12:27 PM

What about setting a "date" to skype? Is she keeps avoiding it then I would get suspicious if I were you.
Have you see pics of her?

**1991md** · April 2, 2015, 12:42 PM

I was going to set a date this weekend and if she doesn't go through either it j was going to ask her what the problem really is.

I am understanding for a day to not work, but as far as months it make sense frustrated.

But yes, I have her pictures we have each other on facebook. I would assume by now she would know the type of guy I am.

**whatruckus** · April 2, 2015, 02:27 PM

I definitely agree with Mims. Maybe set up a "date" to Skype, with a back-up "date" in case she's busy the first time, or something comes up. If, after all of this, she still ends up not Skyping with you, I would be wary. Pictures can be taken from anywhere and anyone, and Facebook isn't that reliable. I can make a fake Facebook in minutes just by using a different email, while finding pictures of someone else and posting them as my own. Heck, I even made Facebooks for my pets (mostly for family and my friends)!

I'm not trying to freak you out or anything, but I just want you to be cautious. Unless she has connection issues, or she's just really busy (which is doubtful), she should be able to Skype with you. And, I don't think you're being irrational. It's normal to want more than just texting.

**Miasmata** · April 2, 2015, 03:06 PM

I can see she's afraid for some reason, but doesn't want to say it. You should gently push the issue and if she keeps avoiding you on this, ask her directly what's wrong. Wanting to skypecall her to deepen your bond isn't unreasonable at all, but you'll have to find out her real feelings on the matter.

**aniay** · April 2, 2015, 03:16 PM

I would ask her why she is putting it away.(Maybe she has her reasons) I will also tell her why it is important to you, and how you feel about her putting it away.
If she igonres that... well that's your answer there.

**Ella85** · April 2, 2015, 03:40 PM

My boyfriend and I did skype voice chat before we became a couple and I'd been speaking to him a few weeks. I am extremely shy around new people and I didn't talk much but we were playing a game so it was fine. I didn't go on video chat until we became a couple but he had seen photographs of me. After 6 months I don't think you are being unreasonable at all and I think you really need to discuss it with her. She might be very nervous about speaking English and it might be why she is putting it off. But I would be weary if she refuses to after you tell her how you feel about it.

**1991md** · April 2, 2015, 03:51 PM

Thank you everyone for your replies. To me, it isn't much of a deal to talk to someone I never met. Yeah, it would be weird for a moment but it would be different if I met them a few minutes prior to. We have sent each other mail and letters though, so I don't see how seeing each other on camera is any more personal than your home address.

I did tell her that we should skype this weekend, instead (since it is easter) she said next saturday would work better. I don't want to be overly aggressive about it and push it all on her, but since she agreed to it for the time being I don't need to ask why she pushes it away.

Maybe I am taking her seriously. I do feel she likes me but maybe only as a friend. My logic behind skype would be how we can handle 1 on 1 and get a better understanding of her personality since written words are written words. It would just give me a better idea of how she likes me.

Then again I could just ask her if she is being friendly to me, or if she likes me more than that.

**TheSteelAngel** · April 2, 2015, 04:12 PM

Maybe she's just shy? I seriously was before I started video chatting with my SO. I have a phobia about talking to people over the phone and video chatting makes it worse sometimes and I told my SO this before we started dating. When we finally became a couple we started slow by only doing voice chatting and I fell in love with his voice. A couple days went by and I finally had the courage to do video chatting. Now it's come to the point where I love talking to him and being able to see him is one of the best things ever. I love his smile. It's so cute haha :P.

I hope you get to Skype with her soon. Best wishes

**whatruckus** · April 2, 2015, 04:18 PM

Originally posted by TheSteelAngel View Post

Maybe she's just shy? I seriously was before I started video chatting with my SO. I have a phobia about talking to people over the phone and video chatting makes it worse sometimes and I told my SO this before we started dating. When we finally became a couple we started slow by only doing voice chatting and I fell in love with his voice. A couple days went by and I finally had the courage to do video chatting. Now it's come to the point where I love talking to him and being able to see him is one of the best things ever. I love his smile. It's so cute haha :P.

I hope you get to Skype with her soon. Best wishes

I used to hate talking to people over the phone because I was so shy, it would give me anxiety. Still does sometimes. Lol.

**farandaway** · April 2, 2015, 04:53 PM

It's possible she is just so shy. Our first skype was probably my first skype ever and I had no good microphone on my laptop. I remember how awkward the first time was. I was soooo nervous. We had chatted for months before that and sent a lot of pictures but to hear his voice for the first time was so nerve wrecking. I kind of miss those days with him. Good luck, I hope you get to skype with her. If you have never talked to her yet, why not start without webcam?

**Hollandia** · April 2, 2015, 07:48 PM

Catfish is out there for a reason. After six months, she needs to find a way to prove she is not a prisoner from anywhere in the world, of any sex, and/or some married person with 8 kids.

If you are serious, after awhile a LDR must reach a RL provable state, for both parties sake. If not, I would have a question why and if still no skype face to face, I would walk.

Be careful with anyone who is full of excuses. Real people all over the globe in LDRs find a way to skype and meet eventually. This is 2015, not 1990. If you have doubts why not after six months of no, follow up on them.

**Miasmata** · April 2, 2015, 07:57 PM

Originally posted by Hollandia View Post

Catfish is out there for a reason. After six months, she needs to find a way to prove she is not a prisoner from anywhere in the world, of any sex, and/or some married person with 8 kids.

If you are serious, after awhile a LDR might reach a RL provable state, for both parties sake. If not, I would have a question why and if still no skype face to face, I would walk.

Be careful with anyone who is full of excuses. Real people all over the globe in LDRs find a way to skype and meet eventually. This is 2015, not 1990. If you have doubts why not after six months of no, follow up on them.

They are not in any kind of relationship. They are friends so far, and the OP wants to get to know her better. There haven't been any false pretenses in a relationship.

**1991md** · April 2, 2015, 11:38 PM

Thank you everyone for your comments and replies.

To be honest she does seem a little weird sometimes.. Maybe I am over thinking her actions (I usually am a serious person.) But she is the one who originally contacted me, and she randomly told me after a few months we talked that next time she travels to the US she will pay me a visit. She also told me she is happy we are friends and that I am a special friend.

Maybe I am taking her words too seriously, but from what she says she does have some sort of interest in me, at least as a friend.

For the time being we should have our first Skype conversation next Saturday (she told me this weekend won't work but next weekend would be better). Still have yet to hear her "ok" it though, but this is the most progress we have had to actually pick a day.

Now as for catfishing, yes, I do understand all of that but I do trust her and from her Facebook it dates back for years of posts/a good amount of friends. We are both young adults and I doubt she has any young children, just a few horses :3.

I would hate to "throw it all away" just for some silly reason of not skyping, but if she keeps putting it off i will have no choice but to give up and not really care about her anymore. She told me despite her appearance she is shy which is weird because I always felt she has more confidence than I do.

But I don't want to force skype on her, for whatever reason (if she is shy or her lack of being a native English speaker) I understand her not being comfortable. But 6 months of us texting, and us writing a few letters to each other (giving away our addresses) and her even saying "Skyping would be fun" just makes me confused. She's been to the UK several times and the US a few times too, so she has experience speaking to English speakers.

Thanks again for all your replies and comments and I will update accordingly!

**canuck** · April 2, 2015, 11:50 PM

Personally, I'd be a little skeptical of it all. But maybe thats just me.

6 months you two have been talking? Language barrier or not, thats quite a while to be chatting online without being able to commit to a skype chat.

Be cautious. I would anyways.

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